oracle of the whole foods parking lot

Being an adult will have you unironically craving a vegetable

Being an adult will have you unironically sad about a parasite outbreak in fresh vegetables.

“what are you doing this weekend” i am going to fantasy land. i am hiding under the covers in bed. i am making things up. i am contemplating events that didnt happen. i am talking to fake people. i am listening to my tunes. i am envisioning scenarios

WantingSomethingICantHave.com

you have a problem with red hulk and the new avengerz? shhhh. quiet luxury. keep it to yourself. because what are you going to do when doomsday comes out in imax and sam wilson and bucky barnes are onscreen together for the first time since last valentines day and then act three takes a sexually explicit turn and you have to pretend to be surprised by that turn?

#sam you have to let bucky hit. look at what he went through every hairstylist in the state of new york has abandoned him (via @makomoriz)

“global birth rates are declining”…… yeah and so are the reblog rates on tumblr.com too, so what now

Somewhere out there on a planet very far away is a civilization that has included our sun in a beloved constellation of some animal we couldn't dream up if we tried

I like your brain

and you know which team was the only one that didnt lose to spain? my goats cape verde

they should invent a sunday that doesn’t have a monday right after it