You want to anoint something? Conjure something? You want to bless something or thwart something?

Alright that’s my fault, I thought that text just happened in a dream.

You say not to do that because it’ll make the chocolate seize. They do it. The chocolate seizes. Only one of you is surprised.

Have to sign paperwork and docusign isn’t an option. Like I have to print it. I’m going to throw up.

Why do pumpkin seeds have so much magnesium? So cute of them.

No heeled flipflop propaganda formed against me shall prosper.

A very good genre of sewing content is people being terrorized by their cats and just carrying right on peacefully.

The sugar caffeine combo is so uniquely poisonous to me.

Convincing myself the ladies of yore were wearing gloves because their hand eczema was also beating their asses.

Thinking about trying to possibly at some point

Clinically unable to walk by a construction/maintenance situation without asking someone in hi-vis and/or a hard hat what all is going on.

The more emphatically I say I need something, the less I actually need it.

Idk why the ant/aphid coalition discovered my sedums this year in particular but I am deeply displeased.

The worst thing is somebody spilling something on you and then trying to clean/dry it. I’m never going to be mad about a little accident but do not touch meeeee ❣️🔪✨

I’m not lost, this is just what I look like.