Dead on main

count dracula? uhhh ok. one

🧛 nathing vrong vith me

what doesnt kill you is still valuable data points for a graph im working on titled "how to kill you"

i love writing out numbers and then putting them in parentheses like "one (1)" even when i dont need to i think its funny

funniest thing to ever happen was when my boyfriend put on the first episode of columbo (which i'd never seen) but he wouldn't tell me what show it was he would only say "you'll get it when he shows up." but a fun fact about the first episode of columbo is that he doesn't show up for 32 minutes and when he does, he silently walks into the room with a cigar and does a little pose and goes "hi i'm columbo."

finding somebody who will laugh at your shitty jokes is joy-inducing but finding a motherfucker who can yes-and all the esoteric bullshit you put out is pure cocaine. this must be the shit all those racuous but good-natured scoundrels down at the tavern are on

sending "?" to represent myself tilting my head like a dog

sending "!" to represent myself perking up my ears in excitement like a dog

This is really funny on dark mode

On dark mode this is like a clown trying to hide behind a light pole.