Devil Nobody

despite everything (and my frequent bitching) this year is maybe the most hopeful ive felt about life since i was a teenager. Mostly because id nearly convinced myself my jaw surgery was never gonna happen and i was just fucked. But it did, so like. Who knows what could also happen in the future i guess. Maybe i’ll luck out again, maybe it’ll be soon. So i will continue to white-knuckle it.

Im also too invested in video games as a concept to willingly miss out on anything in the near future So you’ll be seeing my ass around for a while still im sure lmao

maybe next year instead of amateur fireworks on every block for hours and hours we can try holding up a single beautiful flower

Its not even that i fear my physical health failing me and that doing me in, I fear not being able to cope with it all mentally more

I wish i got to know even ONE day of peace before the Mental Illness switched on in my brain. But i have lived with and experienced it since i can first remember consciousness, so.

I make it work, i mean ive made it this far. Didnt plan on living after 18 and hey im here at 26 still But like oh my god. Did it all have to be so painful. Does it have to be painful now, do i have to prepare for a future of pain. Will it ever feel worth it

Its not even that i fear my physical health failing me and that doing me in, I fear not being able to cope with it all mentally more

I wish i got to know even ONE day of peace before the Mental Illness switched on in my brain. But i have lived with and experienced it since i can first remember consciousness, so.

to be honest i do have beef with some microbes

shoulda cooked it longer that gets rid ofem

i’ll be real, kitten, daddy needs multiple wealthy and powerful folks to die in a painful, drawn-out, and generationally humiliating manner

I have been fucking calling and calling the obgyn for over two weeks now and they still havent rescheduled my surgery. They just keep promising callbacks and ive gotten nothing. And now i feel PMDD rearing its head again and the thought of going through another 15-day-menstrual-cycle like i did last month really really really makes me want to . Anyways

And now because of this my million other problems have gotten pushed back yet again. My hips been slipping in and out of its socket randomly for like over a year. Havent been able to sleep on my right side at all in like 8 months because my shoulder is so fucked up and painful. Since my surgery in february ive developed vertigo and its continued to persist almost 7 months later. I could go on but this post would get even more sad and self-pitying. Anyways yeah doctors love to make me wait on things indefinitely and this has been the last 10 years of my existence and all it does is cause it + all my other pressing issues at the time to just get worse which then requires more trestment and wasted time and. And and and

Im like if a check-engine light was a girl.

I have been fucking calling and calling the obgyn for over two weeks now and they still havent rescheduled my surgery. They just keep promising callbacks and ive gotten nothing. And now i feel PMDD rearing its head again and the thought of going through another 15-day-menstrual-cycle like i did last month really really really makes me want to . Anyways

And now because of this my million other problems have gotten pushed back yet again. My hips been slipping in and out of its socket randomly for like over a year. Havent been able to sleep on my right side at all in like 8 months because my shoulder is so fucked up and painful. Since my surgery in february ive developed vertigo and its continued to persist almost 7 months later. I could go on but this post would get even more sad and self-pitying. Anyways yeah doctors love to make me wait on things indefinitely and this has been the last 10 years of my existence and all it does is cause it + all my other pressing issues at the time to just get worse which then requires more trestment and wasted time and. And and and

"get ready for video games to become unaffordable" video games haven't been affordable for the last 10 years

the FDA should bring back quualudes for a limited time offer like the mcrib

every 4th of july I think about the american tourist who was like oh thank god you’re open I wasn’t sure if you’d be open today and I was like why wouldn’t we be and he said because of the holiday. in norway.