local neighborhood mothman

7 minutes in heaven in the criterion closet

i bet it feels good as fuck to feel good

Handing the Google executive currently chained in my basement a piece of paper that reads "Shall I end your torture?" with one checkbox that reads "No" and another that reads "Maybe later."

in a way john watson is a fantasy (what if you had this brilliant enigmatic friend and what if he liked you in particular and what if he offered you the excitement of youth and adventures and a way out of boring society life and all without having to actually give up your status as a gentleman so you could have the best of both worlds) and in a way sherlock holmes is a fantasy (what if someone never got tired of you despite your various strange habits and mood swings and instead of simply tolerating you they genuinely liked you and what if you didn’t have to live alone forever and what if you never had to give up doing the things you love) and of course there’s the most fantastical part of it all (what if you could afford london housing prices)

i don't even gaf about shipping discourse because i'm a big boy and a bad person for other worse reasons but if i can be real for a moment "proship DNI" in bio means nothing to me. if you want to keep me out you're going to need to line your blog with salt and iron or rat poison or something.

actually if i were to be less flippant and more brutally honest with you all my disdain for it stems from how much of it is just a thinly veiled excuse for people to fight about their fictional relationship preferences or simply for the sake of arguing without any investment in the reality of what they're claiming to represent and then take pride in their empty, performative activism. i still recommend the rat poison though.

girl help they are calling me a pedophile sympathiser in the notes for trying to point out that being disgusted by something is not the same as meaningfully working to prevent and safeguard against it by critically engaging with the complex reality of it. can i please just have the rat poison.

happy pride month for it/its users, polyamorous people, xenogenders, non-transitioning trans people, and other "weird" identities. btw

My grandma just called and, among other things, said “You have hips. That’s good! Men like hips!” and then she interrupted herself to say “Women like hips. People of your preferred gender like hips. I can never remember”  And I was like “Thanks grandma! My preferred gender is none of them, no thanks.” and she was like “Okay, no one will comment on your hips!” very self satisfied, like “aha, I have figured it out” I think like half her grandkids are some variety of not-straight and she can’t always remember which is which but she is the epitome of like “she’s a little confused, but she’s got the spirit!”

Update: I gave it some thought and my estimate was wrong. Of the grandkids that are out, it’s 1/3, not ½

I told my grandma that I’d told my friends about what she said and that some of y’all had said you wished she was your grandma, and she said “Well, you can never have too many grandkids!”  So like…consider her your honorary grandma* I guess? *if you want an honorary grandma, that is

Update on my grandma: I told her my hair was standing up, but instead of straight line it was diagonal and she said “That’s okay, you’ve never been straight!” and then laughed so hard at her own joke I thought she was going to drop the phone

Happy almost pride month! Have my confused-but-supportive grandma!

An update: my grandma just called me to ask if I knew it was pride month

Happy pride month!!

they've yet to make an experience more bewildering and confusing than trying to pick up a rpg after more than a week