i am a cloud

a small thing i learned from my sister dying is that i really would rather the people i love be a burden than be whatever the hell else they'd be if they weren't. yes even if it's messy and not always fair and hard completely inconvenient for everyone involved. even if it's weird. even if i'm rolling my eyes a bit inside sometimes. i just want you to bother me. please always bother me

like "it's rotten work" "not to me not if it's you" actually sometimes it's still rotten work. even if it's you. and i'd still do it a million times over

Accidentally put my whole fucking heart into something that wasnt fucking meant for me again fucking hell

Literally always take headphones with you. If you decide that you probably won't need them today, that's the devil talking. You will. You will

staying silly is all i got left like i got no money no prospects i’m a burden to my parents and i’m frightened

"slut era" i say as i rot and decay in my bedroom and watch the years pass me by as i miss out on core experiences other people my age are having while i think about the past

you don't owe anything to anyone but also you owe everything to everyone. maybe you were too harsh to that guy but maybe he crossed the line first and it would have been ridiculous to expect you to put in the effort that he clearly didn't care to match. maybe you overextended yourself for your friend and she wasn't reciprocating enough but maybe you were just being generous to someone in a tough spot and it was the right thing. all of your accomplishments are your own but you could never have done them without the aid of everyone else around you. no man is an island but the rest of the archipelago still doesn't get to tell you that you have to dress a certain way because otherwise it icks them out. idk man. this stuff is nuanced and has to be understood on a case-by-case person-by-person basis and you can't really make grand sweeping statements about it in the space of a social media post. figure it out for yourself.

Fantastic experience is showing your friend a movie that was important to you as a child but you haven't watched it since and you're not sure if it holds up so you're like "this movie has its pawprints on my soul but I don't know if it's good or not" and then halfway through your friend is like "this movie is AMAZING actually" and has a fantastic time watching it

did mitski ever find out what to do after you've been big and small and big and small again and still nobody wants you

I gotta be honest gang the idea of inviting a stranger into my life to date me? violently ill immediately

we need to bring back the simple art of just “come to my house and we hang out without an activity or pretense or meal” my friend hung out on my couch for seven hours today we just gabbed… no specific plans no activities involved. likeee let’s just hang out on my couch forever and ever amen

when fiona apple asked “how can i ask anyone to love me when all i do is beg to be left alone”. well i have not found an answer but if anyone else has lmk

"fuck it we ball" is for stress about the future "it is what it is" is for stress about the past and "this too shall pass" is for stress about the present thank you for coming to my TED talk

“Home is where the trees look normal” is the sweetest, saddest, most nostalgic truth I’ve ever heard.