Maggot Nursery

Woaah I'm gonna start posting here again this is crazy My accounts I was using for the last few years were @maggotnursery and @helluvabigbug This one devolved into a personal sad adult blog but idk it smells like home or something

Idk what it is, I generally avoid my personal experiences with things because I get afraid of this exact thing... but if there's a topic of someone's experience like sexual assault or other trauma, that they themselves bring up, and they don't go in depth, but they talk about it as an experience they have and relate it to whatever the topic of conversation that's already happening is...... I get soooo fucking defensive of them when other people get all up in arms about "not wanting to hear it" "I didn't consent to this conversation" like they're not trauma dumping, they're actually being vulnerable and informing people of their experience in order to give credit, or relate to something we are already talking about. It's important context to who they are as a person?? Like I get it. these are unpleasant topics to be reminded of, but I think to censor someone's life to the point where they can't even mention that the event happened is genuinely fucked up. I can't explain why I get so mad, or why these reactions hurt me to the point of never even being able to mention my own experiences to people... Uugghhh maybe I just need to go kick rocks.

Just reminded of some shit but I'm genuinely attracted(sexually, romantic, platonic/whatever it's an attraction) to some artists based on their art styles and I think it's the most heart breaking thing when you get the opportunity to hang out with some artists who's art made you FEEL THINGS for a long time and then find out that they really are chronically online and overly negative about life........ ): Bummed out, embarrassed, social energy gone for like weeks after this.