i don’t understand either @pleasantroadpersonsalad - Tumblr Blog

2016-2020

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literallymechanical

Did anybody have “mysterious 12 foot tall metallic monolith discovered in the desert” on their 2020 bingo card?

(Source)

it gets better

two

TWO

i downloaded this god damn episode just so everyone could watch this fukkin clip

soundssimpleright

The feedback bit is inspired.

titaniagigante-deactivated20210

Keegan Michael Key’s quick thinking to get involved was GENIUS.

cheaphalloweencostume

lmaoooo

roguemechanic

That bitch haunted as fuck.

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catchymemes

afro-evolutionary-astrology

Mutual aid really be changing shit for people in beautiful ass ways

myeclecticdream09

thou-creature-of-the-deep

cubanpercy

what-a-catch-donkey-deactivated

lotrlocked

rinasaurusrex

andthosearesmalleragents

dankmemeuniversity

whitepeopletwitter

guooey

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teasihyn

friendly reminders with stock photos

witchiestsuggestions

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

sour-soda

They also go by PEARs

thecrabbybarista

Local minor now hates pears even more than previously thought upon discovering an acronym

tis-thy-girl

new pedo terminology. know it, stay safe

theoneandonlyredrobin

Friendly reminder

Gotta clear out the trash because apparently I’ve accumulated terf and pedo followers

princessbriarrose

UNFRIENDLY REMINDER! if your a child fucker. GET. THE. FUCK. OFF. MY. BLOG. i am a minor and so are most of my friends. if i see any of you hurting them i’ll hurt you!

aureolinthoughts

Pedophiles should choke and die.

mapsontheweb

How close do their borders come to?

changeling-ash

Hmmm…Seems like they touch.

hmm??

…you have to be kidding me.

…..

…Wow….

yep it checks out

I recently started working in hospitality, and I’ll tell you guys right now, the trope of “there was only one bed” is not as rare as you’d think in real life. A few times a week, at least, I have guys come in who are working together on projects in town or passing through who have to literally book the last room I have available for the night and lo and behold — there is only one bed, and guess what, they give each other a side-eyed look and begrudgingly take it. So write it up, it happens all the time!!!

karis-the-fangirl

blatant-phishing-attempt-bot-de

Never let your There Was Only One Bed dreams die. I was secretly in love with my best friend for over a year when she graduated and moved to Oklahoma (like 1000 miles away) for grad school. Between that travel restrictions, we were so scared we’d never see eachother again.

At the end of summer, when Covid numbers were at a lower point, I took the risk to visit her in her new apartment and I quickly realized that, unlike when I’d spent the night at her house before, the couch wasn’t made up like a bed. She explained that since her new couch was so fancy and pink, I couldn’t possibly sleep on it, and so I needed to sleep in the bed with her. You know, out of necessity. I woke up with her snuggled around me in the middle of the night.

We’re dating now, and I genuinely think I’m going to marry her. Just the other day, though, I mentioned that if she hadn’t been weird about her fancy couch, I probably never would have like confessed my feelings. AND THEN she stood up, took the cushions off the fancy couch, UNFOLDED IT INTO A HIDE-A-BED, and said “I KNOW.”

THIS GIRL. ORCHESTRATED. BED SCARCITY. JUST SO SHE COULD MAKE THE “ONLY ONE BED” EXCUSE. Y’all when I said I just about lost my goddamn mind, I just about lost my goddamn mind. I love this sneaky bitch so much and the moral of this story is BE THE ONE BED YOU WANT TO SEE IN THE WORLD.

leet911

Fanfic imitates life, and life imitates fanfic. It’s full circle really.

glumshoe

Dad kept hiding pine nuts in the pages of this magazine and letting Edgar root around for them.

(Edgar cannot be released to the wild due to an injury. He now works as an ambassador bird and general household nuisance.)

glumshoe

Edgar has added to his vocalizations since I last saw him! He used to only say “oh wow” in a really sarcastic voice and to mimic the trill of a screech owl. Now he also screams “WHAT?!” and mumbles “what a WHOPPER!”

It was hysterically funny discussing politics with him in the room. We’d mention some new scandal and he’d randomly interject with cries of astonishment.

fieldbears

Please let Edgar know that I love him

unlicenseddrsexymd-deactivated2

Edgar has graced my dash twice today and I learned something new each time. I too love him.

banashee

I love everything about this, most of all the fact that you named him Edgar because it makes me think of Poe’s “The Raven” immediately

glumshoe

His full name is Edgar Allen Crow.

circusgender

Badgender flag

it’s when your gender is not good

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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circespigfarm

crittizen

The look on her face when she realizes

aegri-somnia-vana

Here’s what they said if you didn’t understand-

Interviewer: What do you think about starting an initiative on campus here at UK, to be more inclusive to women who have penises? So we can put urinals in the womens restroom for them.

Student: Sounds fantastic.

Interviewer: Oh, does it?

Student: Yeah.

Interviewer: What about- Let’s take it one step closer, y'know more- for inclusivity here on campus, but free tampons and pads in the mens restroom for men who have periods?

Student: Sounds great.

Interviewer: Ok- You dont see anything wrong with those statements?

Student: No.

Interviewer: What men do you know with periods?

Student: I generally use- ones like in Willy T* have pads, I use them pretty often.

*(Willy T is the college nickname for their library I’ve heard.)

lost-clause

I attend this school and I can confirm 2 things. Yes, our big library is indeed called Willy T AND the day that this stank bitch came to campus everyone was losing their MINDS and kept walking by in hopes of getting chosen to call her out. Immaculate.

iclimbtreestofeelalive

i. am on the floor. wheezing. the moment she realizes that not only is she talking to a trans man,, but that SHE COULDN’T CLOCK HIM,, this is high art and i want it written in Big Wedge sharpie on my wall

sheikah

31 Days of Halloween - What We Do in the Shadows (2014) dir. Taika Waititi & Jemaine Clement

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i don’t understand either