ducks space

motherfuckers arent ready for my famous "quadruple-edged sword". second it comes out the holster, blender maneuver. red paste. spin cycle. myself included. nonnegotiable. the SECOND i am frightened WE. ALL. DIE.

no more dichotomies. I would like to introduce you to my friends Both, Neither, and Something else entirely

me when i fucking GET you

actually hate that the bodys response to anything is nausea. ate too much? nauseous. ate too little? nauseous. an imaginary threat got you scared? be nauseous. on your period? you guessed it. sawed into your hand and need to go to the emergency room? perhaps throwing up into your open wound will be of help

giant isopod is like what if magical creatures were real but just out of your reach. what if there was an animal that was generally really small but we made ONE that was actually the exact size you have dreamed about for it to be a normal house pet. but you both evolved to be unable to survive in each other’s environment. even experts (aquariums) struggle to conduct an environment in which they can survive and thrive, so you may never see one even behind glass. they may as well be unicorns. just one of the many ways life taunts me

When I was a little boy dad was always telling me to get a pair of dykes and now he’s all confused as to why I’m a polyamorous lesbian like it wasn’t his idea.