world destruction your life ain’t nothing

Forget BetterHelp. The eternal light of Marxism-Leninism is all the mental health treatment I need

ma'am, I'm going to place you on a brief hold while I look for a reaction image

The obsessive “I need to be the hottest person in this grocery store” mindset is so loserish to me sorry… you are trapped constantly viewing yourself through other peoples eyes and craving their approval and I pity you for not knowing the beautiful, simple pleasure and incredible freedom of looking kind of ugly while running errands

i know the way people talk about their pets now is probably how we’ve been doing it for all of history. a cat owner in ancient rome saw their cat lounging on the dining pillows and commented “he thinks himself to be the senator claudius 🤣”

I’m starting a gofundme to get a mojito

Every dog has a “dog pearl”. It makes it by eating grass. When a dog dies it uses its pearl energy to manifest one wish. We don’t know what they wish for, but our thaumaturgists have traced their leylines through history. The consequences of dog wishes on the current political climate can’t be understated.

yeah, sure, it was the "power of friendship" that defeated you, and not my super cool "mega bone explosions" spell that I worked really hard on, whatever idiot

if your animal is lying on the floor, furniture etc, it’s important to take a picture of them. then, if they move or shift in any way, it’s important to take another picture. with this technique, you can take many pictures of your animal