ineffable pirate shenanigans: blinkshark slayer

there are so many long running american TV shows that are about like cia wives solving secret murders at a hospital for lawyers, and they all star the kind of white people you get from doing multigenerational bulldog husbandry

we have successfully bred all the colour out of this woman's hair. this man? a perfect cylinder. he breathes through his ears now.

happy Barely Keeping It Together Wednesday to all who celebrate

The meme version of Edward Cullen as a man who is obsessed with snails and moss is infinitely more interesting than the version of him in the actual twilight books.

If Edward Cullen was a man who was obsessed with the small intricacies of the forests of Washington state and enjoyed foraging and taking pictures of snails he would actually be the most unique and interesting vampire character in modern literature but instead he’s an overprotective bitch whose main personality trait is that he hates himself.

Bella would also be way more interesting if she was watching this guy swerve the car over to the side of the road to take a picture of some cool moss and chewing on poisonous herbs like gum because his vampirism makes him immune and going “oh I can’t not fuck him”

Where can I see that? Or is it just you hallucinating Edward's?

this is how we should generate power for cities

contextual storytelling from that sign in the back

muttering "the hamsters control the wheels" as i wander around like a blind medieval soothsayer

australian mutuals what are they saying

josh wants to steal it and use it to deal speed

josh is making wise business moves and i respect him

[image description: a drawing of Barry and Lup. Barry is a light-skinned man with short brown hair, glasses, and a strong jaw. He’s wearing a red jacket over a white T shirt and blue jeans. His arm is around Lup’s waist and he’s smiling at her. Lup is a tanned elf with chin-length blonde hair. She’s wearing a white tank top to show off how buff she is and a red jacket is tied around her waist. One arm is around Barry’s shoulders and the other is pointing a finger-gun to the side, a small flame coming off her finger. She’s looking at Barry and smiling.]

he has had like ten “final movies” and everytime i get sad about it. and then he makes another one. fucking love this guy

Comic strip by Boulet. You can find him on instagram.

Hence the not-uncommon adage that the washing machine did even more for women's liberation than the birth control pill

I was told that I’d get used to not having a headphone jack. I still want a fucking headphone jack. I hate that phones don’t have them. It’s stupid and awful and I hate it

they call me the endurer the way i endure and endure and endure and endure and well u get it

just like sysyphus pushing my ball #myball