but first... a toast! *clinks bulges with you*

PPL aren't reblogging this version so the chuzzle is generally stuck in the eternal present moment with the question unanswered. Eyeing the symbol that will never change

i could jumpstart a car with my breasts

hey sorry I snapped at you, I've just had a really hard day and [remembers focusing on myself is selfish] maybe it's your fault for provoking me?

unclear. adj. of or pertaining to an uncle

He was tortured and beaten by the ogre

He was beaten and punished by the ogre

He was punished and pummelled by the ogre

He was pummelled and tormented by the ogre

He was tormented and injured by the ogre

He was injured and hurt by the ogre

He was hurt and broken by the ogre

He was broken and damaged by the ogre

He was damaged and harmed by the ogre

He was loved and cuddled by the ogre as part of their BDSM aftercare

Didn't happen. He was harmed and attacked by the ogre

You guys are always like "being crushed by 10,000 tons of rock probably feels good as hell" or "being torn to pieces by hunting dogs would low key fix me" and I feel like those things would actually be unpleasant.

How about "Drinking an ice cold strawberry milkshake probably feels good as hell". Do you guys like that one.

my family fucked up my life by using spoonerisms interchangeably with their true phrase counterparts since before i was born and now i can’t escape from instinctively saying shit like “im gonna shake a tower”