Kvothe/Kote

My name is subspace and I dehumanize and objectify myself and everyone else around me in order to keep living in my delusion in which reality is built around every living being having a predetermined purpose in their society and to keep every person at arms length and purposefully drive them away so that when I do inevitably seek approval and praise from others I can pretend as though I don’t actually care that much for their opinions and that nobody has any effect on me because the thought of not being unstoppable or in control terrifies me to the core because all harm in my childhood was given from those that had control over me and all harm in my adolescence was caused by me momentarily letting go of my iron grip on those I could admit I didn’t despise and also I fucking suck

Where does this need come from, to say these things?

THIS WAS THE OTHER OOC ONE THE IN CHARACTER ONES ARE PINK BECAUSE HE ACTUALLY SAYS THEM

I know, but still.

And how much more may you help meds

I’ll help him as far as I can throw him

No.

Exactly

You. You still did though.

Nuh uh

My name is subspace and I dehumanize and objectify myself and everyone else around me in order to keep living in my delusion in which reality is built around every living being having a predetermined purpose in their society and to keep every person at arms length and purposefully drive them away so that when I do inevitably seek approval and praise from others I can pretend as though I don’t actually care that much for their opinions and that nobody has any effect on me because the thought of not being unstoppable or in control terrifies me to the core because all harm in my childhood was given from those that had control over me and all harm in my adolescence was caused by me momentarily letting go of my iron grip on those I could admit I didn’t despise and also I fucking suck

Where does this need come from, to say these things?

THIS WAS THE OTHER OOC ONE THE IN CHARACTER ONES ARE PINK BECAUSE HE ACTUALLY SAYS THEM

I know, but still.

And how much more may you help meds

I’ll help him as far as I can throw him

No.

Exactly

My name is subspace and I dehumanize and objectify myself and everyone else around me in order to keep living in my delusion in which reality is built around every living being having a predetermined purpose in their society and to keep every person at arms length and purposefully drive them away so that when I do inevitably seek approval and praise from others I can pretend as though I don’t actually care that much for their opinions and that nobody has any effect on me because the thought of not being unstoppable or in control terrifies me to the core because all harm in my childhood was given from those that had control over me and all harm in my adolescence was caused by me momentarily letting go of my iron grip on those I could admit I didn’t despise and also I fucking suck

Where does this need come from, to say these things?

THIS WAS THE OTHER OOC ONE THE IN CHARACTER ONES ARE PINK BECAUSE HE ACTUALLY SAYS THEM

I know, but still.

And how much more may you help meds

I’ll help him as far as I can throw him

My name is subspace and I despise my worst enemy not so much because I hold grudges, I forgive those I believe I should defer to without question, but because of what my history with him says about me id est if my previous judgment of who I could trust to always tolerate(because accept is not an option I believe I am unacceptable on principle) my existence without needing me for convenience then it is implied that I was wrong and that I believed life had any value by nature forget life like mine which I believe to be a pathetic thought process and also I no longer have any equals or rivals that I do not feel my life and position is constantly threatened by and because losing something against my will is losing part or my control I despise him even more for causing me to feel so vulnerable and pathetic by simply existing and also o want to make out with him really bad

Excuse me?

Cough what

Why are we playing dumb?

Good question go ask someone else maybe they’ll know

I'm talking to the one that made me question them, so?

sorry what I couldn’t hear you

I didn't hear my answer.

Cough what it’s really loud out here sorry try again later maybe never

❌❌❌

My name is subspace and I dehumanize and objectify myself and everyone else around me in order to keep living in my delusion in which reality is built around every living being having a predetermined purpose in their society and to keep every person at arms length and purposefully drive them away so that when I do inevitably seek approval and praise from others I can pretend as though I don’t actually care that much for their opinions and that nobody has any effect on me because the thought of not being unstoppable or in control terrifies me to the core because all harm in my childhood was given from those that had control over me and all harm in my adolescence was caused by me momentarily letting go of my iron grip on those I could admit I didn’t despise and also I fucking suck

Where does this need come from, to say these things?

THIS WAS THE OTHER OOC ONE THE IN CHARACTER ONES ARE PINK BECAUSE HE ACTUALLY SAYS THEM

I know, but still.

My name is subspace and I despise my worst enemy not so much because I hold grudges, I forgive those I believe I should defer to without question, but because of what my history with him says about me id est if my previous judgment of who I could trust to always tolerate(because accept is not an option I believe I am unacceptable on principle) my existence without needing me for convenience then it is implied that I was wrong and that I believed life had any value by nature forget life like mine which I believe to be a pathetic thought process and also I no longer have any equals or rivals that I do not feel my life and position is constantly threatened by and because losing something against my will is losing part or my control I despise him even more for causing me to feel so vulnerable and pathetic by simply existing and also o want to make out with him really bad

Excuse me?

Cough what

Why are we playing dumb?

Good question go ask someone else maybe they’ll know

I'm talking to the one that made me question them, so?

sorry what I couldn’t hear you

I didn't hear my answer.

Cough what it’s really loud out here sorry try again later maybe never

I would rather be aware of and choose my own destruction than let it happen against my will. I will guide the dagger into my throat if it means nobody else can.

Why not try to make it grow, still? Why not realize in how much big of a need you are? Are you really choosing to continue to cling into that distruction that may inevitably lead to consequences coming on their own?

In acknowledging needing anything, I acknowledge that must be vulnerable and/or reliant on others for anything. I would rather suffocate.

You’ll learn one day the you have to cross your heart or rip it out. Become loyal or become expendable. But do not become passive. The moment you do, you give up the right of your own being up to the world to act upon.

And loyal to what, exactly?

Whatever power you can get your hands on.

My name is subspace and I dehumanize and objectify myself and everyone else around me in order to keep living in my delusion in which reality is built around every living being having a predetermined purpose in their society and to keep every person at arms length and purposefully drive them away so that when I do inevitably seek approval and praise from others I can pretend as though I don’t actually care that much for their opinions and that nobody has any effect on me because the thought of not being unstoppable or in control terrifies me to the core because all harm in my childhood was given from those that had control over me and all harm in my adolescence was caused by me momentarily letting go of my iron grip on those I could admit I didn’t despise and also I fucking suck

Where does this need come from, to say these things?

THIS WAS THE OTHER OOC ONE THE IN CHARACTER ONES ARE PINK BECAUSE HE ACTUALLY SAYS THEM

My name is subspace and I despise my worst enemy not so much because I hold grudges, I forgive those I believe I should defer to without question, but because of what my history with him says about me id est if my previous judgment of who I could trust to always tolerate(because accept is not an option I believe I am unacceptable on principle) my existence without needing me for convenience then it is implied that I was wrong and that I believed life had any value by nature forget life like mine which I believe to be a pathetic thought process and also I no longer have any equals or rivals that I do not feel my life and position is constantly threatened by and because losing something against my will is losing part or my control I despise him even more for causing me to feel so vulnerable and pathetic by simply existing and also o want to make out with him really bad

My name is subspace and I am leaving the conversation

What is it, that you truly search from me?

My name is subspace and I’m not talking to you

I asked one question, nothing hard.

❌❌❌

My name is subspace and I despise my worst enemy not so much because I hold grudges, I forgive those I believe I should defer to without question, but because of what my history with him says about me id est if my previous judgment of who I could trust to always tolerate(because accept is not an option I believe I am unacceptable on principle) my existence without needing me for convenience then it is implied that I was wrong and that I believed life had any value by nature forget life like mine which I believe to be a pathetic thought process and also I no longer have any equals or rivals that I do not feel my life and position is constantly threatened by and because losing something against my will is losing part or my control I despise him even more for causing me to feel so vulnerable and pathetic by simply existing and also o want to make out with him really bad

Excuse me?

Cough what

Why are we playing dumb?

Good question go ask someone else maybe they’ll know

I'm talking to the one that made me question them, so?

sorry what I couldn’t hear you

My name is subspace and I despise my worst enemy not so much because I hold grudges, I forgive those I believe I should defer to without question, but because of what my history with him says about me id est if my previous judgment of who I could trust to always tolerate(because accept is not an option I believe I am unacceptable on principle) my existence without needing me for convenience then it is implied that I was wrong and that I believed life had any value by nature forget life like mine which I believe to be a pathetic thought process and also I no longer have any equals or rivals that I do not feel my life and position is constantly threatened by and because losing something against my will is losing part or my control I despise him even more for causing me to feel so vulnerable and pathetic by simply existing and also o want to make out with him really bad

Excuse me?

Cough what

Why are we playing dumb?

Good question go ask someone else maybe they’ll know

My name is subspace and I despise my worst enemy not so much because I hold grudges, I forgive those I believe I should defer to without question, but because of what my history with him says about me id est if my previous judgment of who I could trust to always tolerate(because accept is not an option I believe I am unacceptable on principle) my existence without needing me for convenience then it is implied that I was wrong and that I believed life had any value by nature forget life like mine which I believe to be a pathetic thought process and also I no longer have any equals or rivals that I do not feel my life and position is constantly threatened by and because losing something against my will is losing part or my control I despise him even more for causing me to feel so vulnerable and pathetic by simply existing and also o want to make out with him really bad

My name is subspace and I am leaving the conversation

What is it, that you truly search from me?

My name is subspace and I’m not talking to you

My name is subspace and I despise my worst enemy not so much because I hold grudges, I forgive those I believe I should defer to without question, but because of what my history with him says about me id est if my previous judgment of who I could trust to always tolerate(because accept is not an option I believe I am unacceptable on principle) my existence without needing me for convenience then it is implied that I was wrong and that I believed life had any value by nature forget life like mine which I believe to be a pathetic thought process and also I no longer have any equals or rivals that I do not feel my life and position is constantly threatened by and because losing something against my will is losing part or my control I despise him even more for causing me to feel so vulnerable and pathetic by simply existing and also o want to make out with him really bad

My name is subspace and I am leaving the conversation

My name is subspace and I despise my worst enemy not so much because I hold grudges, I forgive those I believe I should defer to without question, but because of what my history with him says about me id est if my previous judgment of who I could trust to always tolerate(because accept is not an option I believe I am unacceptable on principle) my existence without needing me for convenience then it is implied that I was wrong and that I believed life had any value by nature forget life like mine which I believe to be a pathetic thought process and also I no longer have any equals or rivals that I do not feel my life and position is constantly threatened by and because losing something against my will is losing part or my control I despise him even more for causing me to feel so vulnerable and pathetic by simply existing and also o want to make out with him really bad

Excuse me?

Cough what