glue eatery

[Stomping around the kitchen talking into a landline phone] Oh, look who came crawling back. You nevah call, you nevah write, but now all of a sudden you've got time for your poor, sick mother. What kind of trouble did you get yourself in now? Was it that wizard and his tomes again? Oh, no, I don't wanna hear it. I don't wanna hear about any "unspeakable curse" or any "demon runeblade" or any "infernal demon-knights of Kal'Nurothas" or whatevah. You're just like your fathah.

"Ma! Ma, there'sa fuckin DRAGON outsideah the apahtment! MA!"

I have a suggestion

I also have a suggestion

I think I'm in love with you

we've all got that friend who's a little too ²

little miss awful body temperature regulation is taking his hoodie off again

little miss awful body temperature regulation has put his hoodie back on

awful back body has his hoodie little miss on put regulation temperature

stop that put my words back normal style

currently cackling & wheezing after imagining a video game titled Penn & Teller’s Shithead Basketball

listen i consider myself an empathic person but after a certain point i get sick of other people’s problems. my friend is always talking about how the jewel-eyed skull on their mantlepiece is tormenting them w its sinister beauty and im over it. like dude i don’t want to talk about this anymore. get rid of the fucking skull

you’ are biased against my skull

i’m not having this argument again man

my notifications are once again devolving into a spirited debate about the ethics of actions that could potentially make someone uncomfortable, and at risk of sounding like someone about to get a lot of irate anons I think we're frankly giving way too to much moral weight to hypothetical discomfort

the thing about discomfort is that it's an extremely nebulous category that can be triggered by virtually anything and that's far too broad a category to have any inherent moral quality to it. like. my mom was mad uncomfortable when I stopped shaving. that didn't mean I was doing violence against my mom it just meant she needed to get over herself. many such cases it must be said.

Does anyone have the fucking post where it's a screenshot of someone googling john wick scenes but it's like "his focking name is beb yegah - jam wick scene" I feel like I'm being gaslit by tumblr search