Mister Girl

Need the CLANG of the enemy's attacks against armor, need clear sound and UI design that communicates "here's how much damage you DIDN'T take, you absolute badass", need a little gaggle of frail party members trembling in fear behind me as the extreme aura farming of walking up to a dragon and putting my entire shield in its mouth inspires them to fight on.

Also the player character should be a huge woman who's into women.

Hear me out: skill tree where you use a huge sword to block instead, like death knights in WoW or similar two-hander tank classes. Still none of that dodging nonsense of course, dodging is just letting the attack hit something else than you.

I really can and will blame the 9-5 for everything. "We're in a loneliness epidemic" well, we have to spend a third of our day interacting with people in a professional way that makes forming real friendships difficult and then we're peopled out by the time we're done. "People are eating more and more unhealthily" people have to spend more than a third of their day doing work related tasks and they don't want to spend their tiny amount of free time making food. "People aren't involved in their local communities" after spending more than a third of their day doing work related things people are tired and also all those community events take place during normal working hours. "People need to get more hobbies" after spending more than a third of their day working, people are TIRED and don't want to do anything that takes yet more energy. "Literacy is dying" to maintain your critical thinking skills you need to read/watch things that make you think and after spending more than a third of your day doing work related stuff you are TIRED and don't want to expend even more brainnpower. "People need to get outside more" People. Are. TIRED. Because they have to spend all of their time working or preparing for work or recovering from work or doing all the chores they couldn't stay on top of because of work. I can blame fucking anything on having to work, it is truly the root of all fucking evil.

Had a dream that I was accidentally entered into a "Christian rap competition" and the only thing I could think to rap about was my current interest in pickling onions. The crowd thought my pickled red onion brine for Jesus rap was so cringe that they didn't even boo. The entire venue just went completely silent until I felt awkward and left.

This would have done numbers with Russian orthodox Christians you were just playing to the wrong crowd king. Protestants have no culture

if female top nudity weren't viewed as inherently sexually explicit. oh brother. I would be letting those puppies hang like you wouldn't believe

the thing is I would be okay with being viewed as sexually attractive while topless. like a shirtless cis man can be a considered a hunk beefcake eye candy etc but it's not by nature r-rated. usamerican society at large is able to understand that toplessness can be sexually appealing but is not in itself a sexual act when a man does it. if I could be just casually topless on a hot day or something without the little flashing light over my head saying think of the CHILDREN I would be getting minoan with it

you ever just sit and realise u can’t remember 80% of your childhood? like … what happened? who am i ..?

reblogging this because I’ve legit seen people freaking out when they realised they can’t remember some of their childhood, thinking they might have some repressed trauma.

accidentally wrote “never mill yourself” like yeah i don’t think anyone would do that unless they’re wheat or perhaps a rice

Where's that tweet about how American chants are "let's go [team name] and some other country (Irish?) fans are "I've made up a song about the other team's drinking problem to the tune of London Bridge Is Falling Down one two three"?