Shitposts And Dogs

Nigel Farage is the leader of Reform UK, a far right party who are currently in the process of a serious bid to become the UK government. they are just straight up evil.

Count Binface is an intergalactic space warrior with a bin on his head. he likes to run as a novelty candidate in general and mayoral elections. a big thing he likes to do is run as a candidate against the incumbent prime minister:

(Also pictured: Boris Johnson, Elmo)

Anyway, in brief:

Nigel Farage is currently in the midst of a big scandal about his finances

He has decided to deal with this by 1) making a show of nobly resigning from parliament and then 2) immediately running in the resulting by-election

He has stated that he is letting 'the people' judge his actions and implied that if he wins that will prove that he has been exonerated in the court of public opinion

His goal was presumably to get a big resounding win over the other parties, proving that The People still love him.

the other parties have thus far decided that this is a 'vanity election' and, well, there is one very easy way to ensure that he will not beat any of them, and that is simply not to play.

and as a result the only person who has so far confirmed they are running against him is Count Binface. no matter the outcome this makes Nigel Farage look like, u know, a fucking clown.

you would receive the supply once a month

the brand/type will vary so you could

Carpet wool, as the name implies, is a term for the wool from sheep specifically, intentionally bred for centuries to produce wool that is ideal for carpets (historically meaning rugs or, less often, heavy outer blankets, not just carpet like the modern stretched kind stapled to the floor.)

The ideal fiber for an item that is going to be put on the floor and walked on needs to be durable and easy to clean, therefore each strand needs to be long, relatively thick (yes, that means coarse,) and not prone to easily felting.

What it DOESN'T need to be is particularly "soft." The long fibers will make a smooth enough surface to not irritate the soles of your feet and you're not generally going to be wearing a rug right against very sensitive skin all day where you can feel the prickly ends. "Carpet wool" breeds, also known as longwool breeds, have wool fibers that perfectly meet those criteria.

A rug made from wool from a hair sheep or some meat sheep that is coarse but also brittle and short is going to wear out and fall apart ao quickly it's not worth the effort to make it. Therefore, despite being coarse and "scratchy," it is NOT CARPET WOOL. Use that for stuffing pillows or compost it for fertilizer.

A fine, soft, Merino rug is also going to be a felted, pilled, worn-out mess in such a short time it's not going to be worth the effort to make. Save that for a beautiful lace scarf that's going to be directly against the skin of your neck all day. Judging by what's best for rugs, Merino is actually the "garbage" wool.

Anyway, humans spent millenia developing different fibers for different applications, and also words mean things and don't mean other things. Can we please stop calling Lincoln or Wensleydale wool "garbage" because it makes scratchy socks and can we also stop calling Katahdin or Dorper hair "carpet wool" please.

Also, the sheep that grow the wool are absolutely rocking the look.

A fiberist who causally dismisses any breed for its inherent genetic qualities is an indication of inexperience. A novice doesn't have enough data to make an acurate judgment on anything other than their preference. Which, we all have preferences, but being enthusiastically loud about our preferences doesn't make us right.

In a culture fixated on the seductive qualities of soft, our western idiom has been coddled into the false equation of soft=best leading to the unsustainable environment nightmare of microfibers. The first fail in that soft equation comes from comparing hand spun yarns with commercial yarns. The loud opinions tend to get ramped up here, especially when an novice hasn't reconciled the equation:

[Great Yarn = (characteristics of breed or breed blend + preparation method) ÷ spinning technique (± ply)] all influenced by fabrication method of the final project.

Now that☝️equation gets shit done!

Because even though wool is a multifaceted fiber -

It isn't a one-size-fits-all fiber. it's a spectrum of fiber solutions to a variety of situations & needs, producing both textile & non-textile uses

Yes - carpets & rugs are one of those needful situations that specific wools fulfill. However, the same breeds used reliably for industry also have functions in garments & home decor not associated with feet. And, to the experienced fiberist: you don't dismiss wool for not being softy-soft

✨️Fiber✨️ Bruja✨️

As part of a rare breed study, I had the opportunity to spin an Old-World UK Herdwick.

The fleece was the same color of the stones in its native range. It was coarse, full of hair, & kemp. It was tough. The twisted single cut a groove my flyer's wood. The staple was 3-4" (7.5-10 cm) & it held twist perfectly even when spun super-fine.

Plied back upon itself it made a stable 2-ply lace weight.

Despite it being from one of the cutest sheep to grace the hard-knock fells - it was a beast of a fleece.

Our Guild chairperson called the rolags “Godzilla’s pubes” - and he wasn't wrong. It was akin to a natural steel wool pad.

Together, our Guild tried every preparation we knew.

We de-haired, hand carded, drum carded, hackled, & combed. Spun on wheels & hand spindles making singles, & multiple plies. The yarn was crocheted, knitted woven, needle felted, needle punched, & even used in nalbinding. It was deemed filler wool - not even worthy of rug making but the fleece was far to clean to compost.

And - alas - with the same fiber someone spun their sample as cobweb weight and made a square shawl/lap cover - maybe 40" by 40" (a meter square ). Because of the fibre characteristics it held its structure in an open lace that was beautiful. The charcoal gray was stunning - it caught the light here and there where the lighter shades of kemp and hair reflected. It was a most beautiful piece of work

And it is not soft. But it is very lightweight & warm.

And that combination is hard to find in commercial yarns.

The variety of textures in the fiber category of Wools is astounding. There just might be a wool for every need:

Cormo for baby layettes.

Alpaca for the cowl around your neck.

Merino for the colorwork sweater pattern from Ravelry

Shetland for mittens and hats.

Wensleydale socks that will wear well in boots and keep your feet warm.

Lincoln Long wool that - if spun as lace weight or cobweb will make an heirloom lace baby blanket -

Or Herdwick . . . to make a lap warmer for someone whose circulation can't stand the weight of more than a sheet but still needs to stay warm.

All of these could be carpet wool - the last three being far superior & more durable to the task than the others - but they can also be much more.

okay so basically the story went that he has. a fetish for guys with tats and piercings and this culminated in him getting real teeth KNOCKED OUT during a glory hole incident in 98 or 99 he can’t remember but basically the guy thrust in as he was catching his breath. and. teeth got knocked out. he was THAT HARD. 

so he gets dental implants and continues on his way, assured that he’ll never have to lose any more teeth. he used to bartend blah blah and was always complimented on his teeth but he eventually got them SNAPPED OUT during an altercation with a drunk guy and he got different ones put in and was like “oh, so this is a recurring theme in my life” and decided that he was going to swear off bartending.

so he moved out this way and started his “dick-sucking career” anew, hopeful, wide-eyed. and managed to get a piercing snagged on his fucking tonsil and they have to GO TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM TOGETHER BECAUSE THE GUY IS STUCK IN HIS FUCKING THROAT AND HE CAN ONLY BREATHE IF HE BREATHES AROUND THE DICK. it was at this moment i remembered that one fucking movie where a guy gets his prince albert piercing stuck in a lady as a killer is busting into the room and dies because he won’t cut it off and run or something

also as this is happening i’m waiting on x-ray results so i’m just. there lmao

and he was talking about how the guy NUTTED. IN THE AMBULANCE. BECAUSE OF THE VIBRATION OF THE ROAD. IN HIS THROAT. AND THEY HAD TO SUCTION IT OUT. WHAT THE FUCK. but it turns out that there was a bad cut to his gums as well because it was a spiked fucking piercing so he just. had to get a couple teeth replaced. again.

and they dated. for 2 more years. until he moved to serbia or something i forget that part i was laughing to hard. it might have been spain. idk anyways

the bf got stopped by airport security because this was a few years after 9/11 and he had to take half his piercings which were not “safe metals” for metal detectors (“because DIY punks are hotter” was his reason??) and he was like “do i take the dick one out too” (no, but he did get taken to be privately searched.) and it ended up, that his boyfriend (the guy in the dental office) laughed so hard, after hearing this story repeated, that he slipped and smacked face first into the edge of a table. and LOST HIS TEETH AGAIN, and ended up walking around “like a fucking christmas carol about wanting two front teeth” until his bf sent him money to get them fixed and then broke up with him “for some hot young thing”

so he gets new ones! and they lasted! they really did! for years!

and then, #4, was on sunday. he was so “inspired” after he was allowed to go on dates again. because quarantine and no-socialising rules and shit have hit hard here multiple times. that he “went too hard” at a small gay bdsm gathering. and he managed to both bend his teeth inwards and fuck his molars up FROM DICK SUCKING. and he was like “i was tied up there, thinking about how many times this has happened. and how some evil gay witch put a curse on me for being too good at sucking dick.” 

and he went on about how the kink club in question is technically helping to pay for this because they felt SO BAD and the guy who did this laughed his ass off and was like. i don’t have any money but once you get your teeth fixed - and the guy was like NO. I AM NOT SUCKING YOU OFF EVER AGAIN LOOK WHAT YOU DID

This wild, wonderful, beautifully animated and heartfelt queer story started here

Here, on tumblr, by an art student who was wrestling with his identity, mental health, and religious trauma

This wild, wonderful, beautifully animated and heartfelt queer story started here

Here, on tumblr, by an art student who was wrestling with his identity, mental health, and religious trauma

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