looking for my work? you're in luck! here's a masterpost of everything i've written (linked here and also on ao3, depending on your reading preference :3)
a little audience participation tips the scales (ao3)
There’s a strange group living at the old Markiplier Manor.
They’re the villains of their tales, they’re looking for information, and they need your help putting Mark’s scattered egos back together to get their lives back.
And stop Mark and the Entity breaking reality.
Small goals.
(multichapter thingy; second person POV; gender neutral reader; semi-hiatus bc my life is chaotic; teen and up for language and some spooky violence/suspense)
dancing with the dark tumblr ao3
You’ve taken to lingering around Dark’s office late at night when he thinks he’s alone with his old jazz standards.
Or so you thought, until one night you find the door open.
You’ve always wondered what exactly he does behind it…
It’s listen to music. Get your mind out of the gutter. ;)
(second person POV; gender neutral reader; teen and up for romantic themes n smooches hehe)
out of my head tumblr ao3
It's been getting harder and harder to hide your attraction to Wilford the more time you spend together. After a long day of keeping it in, the truth outs.
Sometimes, that's not always for the best.
(second person POV; gender neutral reader; teen and up for romantic themes and sad kisses)
something worth celebrating tumblr ao3
Dark admits he sort of, kind of has a birthday. And then he sort of, kind of asks you to throw him a party.
I know. Pinch me, I must be dreaming.
(purely indulgent fluff where Dark gets to be happy for 0.2 seconds; second person POV; gender neutral reader; all ages, this is pure fluffy friendship)
under the mask tumblr ao3
"So here you are. Playing the love interest to his hero. Your stakes for flubbing your lines? Erasure from the fabric of existence, from the minds of anyone who had ever known or cared about you.
Needless to say, the balcony sure makes a nice break from everything."
--
You try to sneak a break from your role only for the Actor to start playing from the heart. What happens when he lets his mask fall for a moment?
(second person POV; gender neutral reader; teen and up for noncon themes and general implied existential horror)
windows looking in ao3
all the short li'l fics i've been working on, categorized by ego! some are reader inserts, some are between two egos, so you might have to click around a bit - no warnings apply so far!
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it's crazy to me how iconic Blue Cardi is because 1) absolutely no one was expecting him to turn blue, and 2) cardinal stuff aside, i always felt like the track suit + new tricycle + frater suit accessories + (presumably) baby Cardi's clothes in the comics indicated he really really prefers red
I have thoughts and feelings as usual. You probably knew this when you asked me but if you didn't buckle up.
I have two separate threads of thought actually: Popia and Blue (and Red) and Cardi and the Encore Jacket. And I may as well get them all out because of the grave injustice that spurred me into my feelings tonight. (of course the read more is in the wrong place - fuck it I'm leaving it)
Red - Blood and Hunger
We meet Cardinal Copia in black, actually. But that makes sense. It's sober, submissive - the garment of a servant of the clergy.
In the Chapters in this era, we only ever see him in black. Because that's his role in the Chapters before he is Papa - he is subordinate to Sister Imperator and Papa Nihil. No, it's on stage where he also gets to wear white, and more importantly
red. Red in the non Satanic church is representative of the blood and sacrifice of Christ - and here, it also connotes a type of blood and sacrifice. On the one hand, the blood shed of the first three Papas to clear the way for him - the plinth of corpses Cardi is standing on to have his moment.
But blood is also representative of work, of blood sweat and tears as the saying goes. Red represents labor movements around the world - that's why it's associated with communism after all. Cardinal Copia (as opposed to Papa Emeritus IV) is ambitious, he is hungry, he is not throwing away his shot, he is dragging himself atop this heap with his own toil (at least he's not aware of the motherly hand helping to push him up). Red suits him. Red is the blood between his teeth and the sweat of his brow.
Blue - Ascension to Royalty
But eventually that work pays off. Now, you know this diva as well as I do. He spent late nights sketching his dream papal vestments on a napkin. He yearned and fantasized. And in Western culture, there's two colors commonly associated with royalty. One is purple - and one that Cardi would Never, Ever Choose - because Terzo had already used it and he is desperate to prove he is better than his predecessor (and I am sure it Galls Him that Fucking V went with purple).
The other of course
is blue. Look at the unprecedented opulence of this drip. And I do mean unprecedented, the gems and the embroidery reach a level of finery the first three Papas never had. The Doylist reason of course is Tobias Forge had a bigger budget. The Watsonian reason is because this is Cardi's Awesome Moment of Crowning. In this moment, he is no longer the ambitious scheming heir who has clawed past anyone in his way - he is now, finally, the King.
Even the iconic black outfit from this era has undertones of blue. And his other garments on stage, save for the Square Hammer jacket, are hints of blue or gold. He is proclaiming his spot on the goddamn throne. It's not a matter of preference - liking red better. Red is a peasant color. Red is for work. Blue is for resplendence and majesty. Blue is for rulership.
The track suit in red - we only see it in the off hours. There's two sides to this. One, the irony in that he's wearing the color of his toil when he's in fact Not Working, the Chapters depict him during breaks. But also - the track suit debuts in Chapter 10 (before that, in Chapter 9 his first appearance as Papa in the Chapters he is in a bathrobe - and while yes dressed down robes are more associated with hedonism and royalty in a classical sense) - in the exact same Chapter where he tells Sister Imperator that when he's home, he feels like he's "just Cardi". That distinction means something. Papa Emeritus IV is a regnal title, a persona (if his idealized self), it is a station he fills (much like Frater Imperator comes to be). Papa Emeritus IV is blue - but Cardi is red, and at home he's not Papa - he is a tired old man having Chinese food and playing video games. Papa Emeritus IV is who he sees in his head when he's dreaming of grandeur, Cardi is who he sees in the mirror.
Side Tangent - the Jackets
There's a gold version of this jacket that you see mid show, I'm not gonna touch on that save for the gold royal Impera he sure did have a gimmick going but I have some thoughts about the Encore Jacket and the Square Hammer Jacket.
Now, when he walks onto the stage, he tells the audience that this is an after show jacket - he's stopped performing, he's face down in decolletage! (of course we know it's a bit but it's endearing). But you see, with the power of his mind, he can transform that jacket into an encore jacket.
Blue for Cardi isn't just for royalty - where red is toil, blue is transformation. His ascension to the Papacy is marked by him changing out of the iconic white suit (white, a blank slate) into his blue raiment. Blue is the color of Cardi as the butterfly who has shed his pupa - the proud peacock with his adult feathers, yes - and the "recategorization" of this jacket bit is reflective of that (note I know this is likely not remotely intentional on TF's part, I just like seeing symbolism that's there regardless of if he meant it). Cardi is inherently transformative as a character - we see him go from Cardinal to Papa, we see him change his face, we see him straddle the line of gender in ways no Papa before him had, we see him undergo a character arc whereas the previous Papas (and so far, his successor) were stagnant characters.
But this is a lighter blue than his regalia. Red is toil, it's edge, it's blood - this is a light blue, a sky blue. A color associated with softness, gentleness - the exact opposite of the lean and hungry Cardinal and his grasping ambition - but multitudes still included in the same man. I bring this up because it is this jacket he wears when he embodies that opposite the most - when he speaks up before going to change jackets for Square Hammer and beseeches the crowd to be nice to one another, to help each other. Blue is the color of his regal mastery - but it is also the color of his kindness.
And then he slips back stage to change for Square Hammer. After which he gives us the Crucifixion Pose - to show us he has nothing more to give (damnit Nihil and your catchy dialogue).
Again, the color of blood and toil and sacrifice - here, the sacrifice is himself. He has given us everything. He leaves it all out on stage, the hardest working number of the night, the adrenaline bleeding out into the audience from the depth of his heart.
Coming Full Circle - Frater Imperator
Remember what I said about black?
I originally wasn't even going to touch on the Frater - after all this is a discussion about Blue and Red. But as I said before black is the color of a servant of the clergy. He leaves us the way he entered. Boombox on his shoulder, dressed in black - because he is no longer climbing and hungry (though the red gems at his breast weep for his toils) - and he is no longer atop the throne where a purple usurper now sits. As Frater Imperator, he's back where he started. Second most employee of the month awards, figurehead, chained to his desk, giving everything while others enjoy the limelight and make decisions. It hit me literally as I was typing the post up that the color symbolism completes the circuit just like the boombox does.
I know none of this is TF's idea - so whatever color he ends up wearing if we see him again might make this all moot. But I got an English degree so I'm licensed in Seeing Symbolism In Places It Might Not Be. And. The bit about transformation, duality, kindness - other than it looking really really good on him, that's why the After Show/Encore Jacket means so much to me emotionally. When I see that jacket I see a short hand for the side of Cardi I fell in love with the hardest (though I also love the petty hater) the man who has a gentle word for the crowd and whose heart is full of gratitude for their presence. I remember seeing someone refer to Cardinal Copia in his suited look as an old world Gentleman, but blue jacket Cardi is a gentle man.
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I missed Ghostposting but it's too damn hot to use my brain, and dear @a-chilleus already did an excellent post about the Papas coping with the heatwave, I decided that today's round of Putting the Old Men In Situations is to headcanon wildly about what climate they WOULD enjoy being in...because this 110F/44C with 100% humidity summer Ain't It
Nihil: Enjoyed California when he was a young man, but misses the temperate, four seasoned climate of Romania from his childhood, something in his bones knows the rhythm of setting up the circus tents differently for autumn vs. summer shows to beat the heat, and he enjoys a good snow as long as he is inside and bundled up for it.
Primo: Is the only fucking monster thriving in this absolute nightmare weather. He heralds global warming as a sign of Lucifer's reign coming for this earth and sunbathes in glorious hellfire. Perfectly willing to waste water to keep his garden alive despite preferring to live somewhere utterly parched (he would thrive on the Equator or in Arizona) - if data centers get to waste water why can't he? And if the wretched heat deters visitors while he suns himself like a lizard, all the better
Secondo: Can handle the heat second best out of everyone, but prefers much, much less humidity - a dry hot place within driving distance of a beach is just fine by him. But his ideal would be an idealized Mediterranean, pleasantly warm, where he can relax in a lounge chair with a cocktail but without boiling alive.
Terzo: His ideal climate is air conditioning. Keep him inside. A temperate zone cityscape where he can sit in a penthouse, removed and remote from interlopers, but with a view that lets him people watch, to feel part of the rhythm of the city without it demanding he participate in its dance at all times. Likes a nice autumn wind whistling between the skyscrapers.
Cardi: While he definitely spent a chunk of his childhood at the Psaltarian beach house and enjoyed it, I think Cardi has the heat tolerance of a carton of milk. He prefers to be Very Dressed, gloves and sweatsuit and all, so he would be perfectly content somewhere that's briskly cool for most of the year. A month or two of a summer enough to swim in wouldn't go amiss, but he wants to drink his warm overly sugared latte in a blanket burrito and this is not the weather for it.
Perpetua: somewhere there is a mysterious loch depth, haunted moor, or corpse ridden peat bog that is missing its local cryptid. Store in a cool, dark place.
New texture pack! For these of you who want to achieve the 'dirty' punk look, straight from the printmaking studio floor. This time with less scans, BUT with seamless HQ textures you can use in your projects.
(previous ones: MARBLING and WATERCOLOR texture packs)
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looked up russians vs japanese piracy twt beef and its worse than i thought😭 it all started with japanese users being mad at discovering there's all those unofficial russian manga reading sites. russians tell them that there's not much licensed manga in russia to consume legally in the first place. japanese say its your problem, you should then go to japan and buy it legally. russians obviously go ??? it's crazy expensive to fly to japan plus we're sanctioned and often can't purchase foreign things with our money. japanese go full russophobia and say ahhh you evil aggressors deserve it for war. russians answer that even before the war this wouldn't be a solution. then brazilians join russians to fight on the side of piracy and started gotcha japanese with their war crimes and xenophobia. then other japanese users joined on the side of piracy and said anti-piracy japanese are hypocrites because its common in japan to listen to pirated western music. i guess this made japanese anti-piracy people even madder and they went all in saying crazy stuff like comparing piracy to rape. the more hilarious example was one japanese user trying to gotcha russians by threatening to pirate and read... dostoevsky🤣 sums up their level of ignorance regarding this whole topic.
People really need to take a wider view of this paranoia about age gaps and realise this is how we lose the ability to build communities. You need to be able to realise that people can have things in common with you even if they grew up in a different time/place/culture. You also need to realise you can build communities with people who don’t have obvious things in common with you, that people can have the same goals and needs as you even if in most ways they’re very unlike you. Now, more than ever, we need to be able to work together to have any chance to stand ip against the few who have so, so much more power, money and influence than any of us do individually. We need to form communities that reach across age (and class and race and sexuality and so on…).
Meanwhile most my friends are ten to twenty years younger than me.
What do we have in common? Art. Characters. Writing. Creativity.
I really feel like creativity is a universal glue around which people can just flock and who cares what age you are, how good you are, etc etc because we all have things to express, and we can all learn from each other.
And yes this goes both ways of the age spectrum. Of course youth can learn from the oldies, but oldies can absolutely learn from youth as well. Being 'older' doesn't make you 'better' (I say from the height of my 45 years of age). It just means you have unique perceptions that you only learn at specific ages. But youth has unique perceptions you may have lost along the way.
I wholeheartedly agree that community is what we need now, and community means everyone's welcome who wants to be a genuine part of the community. Which I feel, again, that most creatives are.
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