⛧horny but as a devotional act⛧

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[BOOTLEGS FROM THE CLERGY] Regularly updated collection of acoustic sets, studio sessions, TV appearances, etc. Free to all.

[AO3] [FANFIC] [GIFS] [ART]

Thank you @mcgibbykins for my new bumper sticker.

If you like my stories and can spare a dollarydoo or two, I have a tip jar and am very broke :]

All fics are explicit unless otherwise specified.

Legacy (Vampires! 🦇) (ongoing) (Perpetua) Prey (Terzo) Silent Star / Part II (Copia) The Softest Paw

What You Were Will Fade Away (Prime Mover/All Papas) (ongoing) Part I (Terzo) Part II (Primo) Part III (Secondo) Part IV (Cardi & V)

Crack fics: (Secret Satan) Frater & V's Very Special Xmas (Ghoulentine's) Jailhouse Perpetua (SFW) (Ghoulentine's) Cardi's Beloved (Non-explicit) (Cardi & Perpetua) Double Shaboingboing

(Frater & Perpetua) Getting Along: part 1, part 2 (Dom Cardinal Copia) Sei Motivi (sub Terzo) Casting Light: part 1, part 2 (Terzo) A Lesson in Devotion (Terzo) Wait Out the Storm (Angst, non-explicit, probably/maybe SFW) (Perpetua - Secret Santa - La Creatura AU) La Creatura (SFW) (Cardinal Copia - Secret Satan) Stormwatch & Hot Choccy (SFW) (Cardinal Copia Bad Man) Show Some Gratitude (Young Terzo) Krakow! Krakow! Two Direct Hits! (1969 Nihil) In Search of Sin (Creature V) Like Faces Are To Hearts (Terzo) Be Held and Behold (The Great Masterzobation of 2026)

Coming soon(?) to a horny blog near you:

anyway— perverted cardinal copia with a newly summoned ghoul (definitely not my ghoul oc) as his assistant, ordering the ghoul around and running him ragged. he loves the way the ghoul always looks to him for instructions before doing anything, and he loves watching the ghoul do nearly impossible tasks. it comes to a head one day after copia issues a particularly ridiculous order and the ghoul explains that, no matter how hard he tries, he just can’t do it. so copia has him do something else instead.

now this could be absolutely anything from a menial task to something equally as absurd, I actually had something particular in mind after seeing copia in his white suit and with his cane. and oh boy does it involve the cane.

copia who, despite how good the ghoul has been, has been itching to punish him. instead of dismissing the impossible task, he makes the ghoul come to his office in the middle of the night and strip— he should trust copia fully, after all— and (obviously) get on his knees. what i haven’t decided, though, is whether copia should cane the ghoul’s back or thighs. im thinking thighs because it would make it hard for the ghoul to sit and relax between tasks for a while, which would probably lead to a decline in performance and give copia a reason to do it again.

anyway perverted and kinda evil cardinal copia 🤤🤤

-avalon/creek

Oh, no question it's gotta be the thighs. If someone tried to cane my back I would murder them, but the thighs??

Spending the next few days unable to sit comfortably, constantly reminded of how you'd been bent over in front of him, totally exposed and helpless?

Knowing that the Cardinal is a kind man, but that doesn't mean he's nice, or that he'll allow seemingly minor infractions to slip?

You protest, saying it was just a small mistake, not daring to say he's overreacting, but certainly thinking it loudly...then you find out he's been keeping a running tally of so many small mistakes.

He's been so gracious with you, so patient, and has finally come to the difficult conclusion that you clearly won't learn on your own and thus it falls to him to correct your behavior. He doesn't want to do this; he has to, don't you see?

Maybe he's just sitting back in his chair, totally aloof and seemingly bored by the sight of you trembling and whimpering after each hit, the only hint that he feels anything but a strictly professional need to keep things running smoothly the blush creeping up his neck, so obvious against that stark white fabric.

The cane striking is always preceded by him running it across your skin, gently tapping around, as if he's divining the perfect place for it to land, the exact spot that will make you act right. After the first few hits you manage to stop trying to squirm away, shifting your senses to focus solely on him to try and figure out what he expects of you, what's going on behind those strange, knowing eyes.

Maybe he grants you a few words of praise, if your behavior warrants such generosity. You're trying so hard to please him —doesn't he see that?

By the end just the sound of the cane shifting against his gloves makes you whimper in anticipation. If he notices how obviously turned on you are and how the sounds you make shifted from pain and fear to outright arousal, he doesn't remark on it. He simply dismisses you and watches you dress, and you don't even catch his eyes flicking downward, taking all of you in.

The other ghouls notice how stiffly you're carrying yourself, notice you pointedly not sitting, notice you wincing if you have to take a seat, and they definitely notice your face flushing hot when you say it's nothing and try to change the subject.

You subtly ask around, trying to find out if this is just how the Cardinal keeps all his ghouls in line and find out no, it's just you that received this punishment. The Cardinal has singled you out for this specific brand of attention.

You're the only one that's had to carry the pink and red bruised stripes all up and down your thighs. The only one left with skin so hot and tender that just your clothing shifting makes you all too aware of what he did to you. How he marked you.

Are you just that unruly, that disobedient and incapable, that you're the only one who's deserved it, or...is there another reason?

Why does he seem to be avoiding meeting your eyes now? Why do you catch him staring at you over and over, only for him to look away, stammering for a moment to whoever he was talking to as his cheeks color ever so slightly?

Will he need to call you in again?

tldr: Nearly all my POVs are genderless blobs to me, regardless of how they're addressed, or even how they refer to themselves. They're addressed as feminine most of the time because it's easier and fits my personal gender framework, but I do not consider them women.

I'm currently working on updating all my fics to have a standardized introduction because right now they're all different and it bugs me, but more importantly I'm trying to include better content descriptions/warnings, and a problem has arisen: How to describe my POVs.

See, when I started writing fanfic, I...kinda didn't even know gender-neutral fics were a thing. Despite literally being nonbinary, it just. did not occur to me. When I wrote erotica in the past just for myself, I wrote it with a womanish person as the POV because the thing is:

I don't really experience gender dysphoria. If someone forced me into a skirt/dress or, god forbid, tried to get me into high heels (*FURIOUS HISSING*), or called me cis, you bet your ass I would become a gender demon, but when I'm writing fic? I simply do not care.

It's not that I intentionally wrote my POVs as women so much as I just blasted shit out without considering the fact that, you know, strangers on the internet aren't privy to my exact personal gender rubric. I just don't think about my own gender identity very often. I barely care about my pronouns (unless I'm called he/him).

My gender is a mishmash of:

None gender, left tomboy

I just work here, man

You could not pay me to mark 'other' on any kind of official form*

Abyssal void

Like if a woman was a guy, not a man, but a guy or more specifically a dude (For a while this was my official gender identity. Yes, the whole sentence.)

Euclid-level protocol

ಠ_ಠ

Neither trans nor cis because that is another binary I refuse to participate in

I identify as a woman when it's funny, convenient, or the time has come to be a Political Woman**, and the rest of the time it's just confused smears of fingerpaint on torn newspaper

Vibes™

What are you, a cop?

And all that mess right there? That's my POV's genders. Every single one of them.

My POVs are all, to varying degrees, simultaneously me and not me (kinda comes with almost exclusively writing first-person), with some being very, very close to a straight self-insert (cough WYWWFA) and some so distant that it's only me if you squint, and that's why all my POVs are, to me, amorphous blobs of [FETCH-ERROR] gender and physical characteristics. That's why I've never given a physical description of a POV, and barely ever even described clothing (my POVs in the ministry tend to wear skirts/habits because they're easier to work with than pants, you know? You can just pull a skirt right up and start fucking rather than fiddling with zippers).

99% of the time, set dressing is for everything but the POV. I let their narration tell you who they are, not what they look like or identify as. I'm not using my characters as an exploration or extension of my gender, or for seeking gender validation —there's so many other things lurking in my psyche that I'm more interested in airing.

Like, I know it doesn't make much sense, but even when a character in my fics calls my POV a woman to their face, even if a POV refers to themself as a woman, to me they are still not a woman.

I know this is confusing.

But like, shit, if I'm talking to someone I don't know very well —even if I'm talking to a close friend— and they call me a woman, I don't really care. I ain't bothering to correct them, are you kidding me? I got shit to do.

I'm not even "out" to most people in my life —not a single member of my family, nor most of my friends— because I don't give a shit. Call me a woman. Call me Little Sunshine. (You can CAAALL MEEEE AL 🎶)

So what's the point I'm trying to express here?

If it's smoother to just write "woman," I usually will.

If using they/them is clunky (and for me it frequently is) then the POV is getting the she/her treatment.

Sometimes "good girl" is just the only thing that fits in a sentence. I'm not a professional writer (and with the exception of my crack fics —which are works of comedic genius unparalleled by man or god— I rarely think I even rise to the level of competent), and I'm not always going to think of a better/more creative/less-gendered way to say something.

Also, bro, like, I don't have to be a girl to think "good girl" is hot as fuck, you know? Call me a good girl and I'm too busy melting to get dysphoric about it.

In closing, being nonbinary means something different for everyone. Some enbies hate anything with even a whiff of gendering, some are so masculine that it's like "wow, you might as well just call yourself a man," but no, they are fucking nonbinary and they're allowed to express that however they want, and some, like me, take varying stances of, "Caring about gender? En esta económia?"

This rambling essay has been brought to you by:

The need to have a thing to link in my fic intros

The need to justify putting "x f reader" in my tags-

Wait, actually, I have a separate thing to rant about real quick, for anyone who's still reading: My POVs are not OCs, nor are they x reader. I use the x reader tag only for reach and because I know some people consider first-person to be x reader, for reasons I cannot understand. I don't write OCs because...I don't care about OCs. My POV characters are just characters. That's it. (Sorry, it just bugs me when people refer to my POV as an OC.)

...The end.

P.S. My other other other gender: (っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ rage ♥