Random Acts of Weirdness

scientists are experimenting on cross-breeding a crab and a cheetah; things could go sideways real fast

when you show up to the met gala you should immediately be faced with a panel of fashion experts and art historians before you even get to the red carpet and you have to explain your outfit choice and why it is on theme for that year’s event like you are defending a phd and if you can’t produce a coherent defence they turn you away at the door and the people of manhattan are allowed and encouraged to throw rotten produce at you as you get back into your car in shame

Reblog to bonk your mutuals on the head every time they start thinking negatively about themselves

i'm your only friend (realizes that's statistically unlikely) i'm not your only friend (considers my positive qualities) but i'm a little glowing friend (suddenly gets cold feet) but really i'm not actually your friend (remembers to be confident in relationships) but i am

im glad we're in the internet backwaters i think if dove chocolate or something replied to my post i would just keep reporting them for terorism again and again and again

underrated tumblr feature is being able to catch up to yourself on your dash. so there is an END POINT. and you can say “ah, I have reached where I left off, there is no more to see! I’ll take my leave now and come back later when there are new posts.” instead of being stuck forever in a bottomless algorithm pit digging deeper and deeper till you have to summon monumental strength to climb out

one of my favorite hobbies is not being a parent

“In the early days of the millennium, people would celebrate Beltane by posting pictures of dry ramen, a popular noodle dish at the time. The significance of this, however, has been lost to time. Some anthropologists theorize it was an offering of sustenance to an obscure god named Justin, so that he could complete his mythological world tour and thus keep the natural balance of the cosmos for another year.”

"bosch" doesn't sound like the name of a guy who'd make paintings like that. but when you add "hieronymus" to the mix it starts to make sense

Y'know, I kinda feel like when you get to the point that the general reaction to hearing about a failed assassination attempt is "Ah man, missed again. Maybe next time." you might be overdue for an impeachment.

ok guys but imagine how hard it's gonna hit if something good ever happens again