1) decide you are going to do a Nice Thing for yourself when you get out of bed. What the Nice Thing is will depend on you and what you find nice. I like a good cup of tea. Maybe you're not a morning beverages person but five minutes on the porch in the breeze sounds great. Pick your thing and stick to it.
2) if you have an animal, teach them when breakfast is.
3) get yourself a washing bowl and pitcher, yes, like the Victorians had. If you're thrifting, an antique creamer works great. Put it beside your bed. Fill the pitcher before you sleep. Wash your face when you wake up.
4) start by being grateful. When you become conscious, have a thought about how nice the weather is. Or how good your coffee is going to taste. Or even how good it is to have a bladder that doesn't wake up before you do, I don't care, it's your happy thought. It helps.
5) nobody is more annoyed by this than me, because I hate when the stupid chirpy lifestyle people are right, but having your lunch made and your coffee machine set up and your clothes picked out the night before really does make it easier. And if you make your bed, Nighttime You will be thankful.
HOW TO BE A BETTER PERSON:
1) flip your negatives. THIS DOESN'T MEAN TOXIC POSITIVITY. Sometimes things just suck, and that's all there is to it. But you get good at what you practice, and if you spend all your time bitching and pissing and moaning you're going to get better at seeing the negative and worse at seeing the positive. So flip your negatives. "I hate being up this early" becomes "I'm glad I have coffee/tea, since I'm up so early." "Ugh! The fast food place gave me the wrong order!" can be a chance to try something new for no risk--take a bite and if you hate it you can always go back and tell them the order was wrong. You get good at what you practice, so practice seeing the good in things.
2) fuck the panopticon. More and more these days our every move is recorded and observed, and it makes us cranky, paranoid, and afraid to act. So just say "fuck it." Act anyway; you can always decide you made a bad decision, and learn from it.
3) show others some grace. Not every stupid decision or bad take comes from malice; in fact, most of them don't. Most people are not playing 5D chess with time travel in their thoughts. Ask yourself if this person you've known for ages was always a secret shithead, or if perhaps they just have a blind spot or something came out wrong. Most people are mostly good most of the time.
4) read a book. Actually, read many books. I promise if you go to the library and say "I'm trying to build a habit and don't know where to start, what book did you like recently?" the librarian will not judge but will have an answer for you. Books make you think; books teach you; books exercise your mental muscles. Try fiction. Try nonfiction. Grab books off the shelves at random. One of the best books I've ever read I unfortunately don't remember the name of, but it was about a Vietnam vet who took a hit on the head and as a result could no longer speak nor write, and what it was like to just...live, as him. Read books you disagree with! Expand your horizons.
5) volunteer for something you believe in. If you're not sure where to start, go to www.idealist.org (that's not clickable because I don't want this to get buried, but you can copy it directly) and search your area. You'll be amazed by the work people are already doing that you can hook into. And I assure you, if you're thinking "but I'm broke" or "but I'm disabled" or even "but I can't leave the house," they have something you can do. If donations are silver, volunteers are gold.
6) stop doomscrolling. I know, I know, easier said than done, but it really doesn't do anything except make you mad and that's what it's set up to do. You get good at what you practice, remember?
7) pick up a physical hobby and be joyfully bad at it. Don't monetize it. I'm going to be just a little hypocritical here; my physical hobby is crochet and I do in fact sell my work. But if I didn't I'd have a house full of blankets and no use for them, so like. The money is not the point. Being able to crochet is the point. And people will look at my work and go "wow, you're a master! Wow, your work is so good!" And what they don't see are all the hours I cheerfully put into making swatches of new stitches that absolutely DID NOT WORK and coming up with designs that may be impossible. (I have one of those right now. It's driving me nuts. I also smile every time I pull it out.)
8) say hi to your service workers and if they tell you their name, use it. Same with bill people on the phone. Their jobs are hard enough. Two days ago I had the credit card guy laughing so hard I think he was crying. He helped me, I made his workday just a little bit better, we both won.
9) remember that you are not "a good person," you are "a morally neutral person who does good stuff." You cannot be an intrinsically good person. The loftiest saint has ugly thoughts. When you decide you're "a good person" you get to rest on your laurels and decide the ends justify the means. It's your actions that matter--not your thoughts (okay, they matter a little) and not some weird unattainable concept of innate goodness. That's the cultural Christianity talking. Choose to do good things. That's all you have to do.
sugurugetos
theartofmadeline
s-u-f-j-a-n-s-t-e-v-e-n-s
