And when I'm feeling dangerous, Make another AU.

However, the queen, Ford’s opening piece, cannot jump pieces and therefore can’t be used as an opening move. Ford and Mabel share the same understanding of chess.

So the game probably went like this:

Bill: *internally* yeah okay he’s a nerd this is probably a good enough opening to catch his fancy

Ford: *internally* fuck fuck fuck I don’t fucking know how to play chess I only know how to play Dungeons Dungeons and More Dungeons. Fuck. I’m just gonna bullshit this and hope he doesn’t notice

Bill: *internally* okay don’t say anything just play along and maybe let him win a few times, don’t tell him he’s using the horses wrong don’t say anything. You can do this, Cipher, you need this guy to build you a portal.

Ford: *internally* he hasn’t noticed, I must be really good at this completely by accident.

Later, Dipper asks Ford to play chess with him and it’s just:

Ford: *opens with the queen*

Tie boys!

bonus Logan:

All of them are good.

don’t let anyone make you feel bad about what you like in fiction. don’t let anyone shame you for your preferences. don’t let anyone mock and belittle you for your portrayals or your projections. no “lack of content X” or “overrated content Y” is your fault.