gay disaster

affirmations they will not kill me at work today. it is not in my job description to get killed. if they did kill me at work that would be weird and probably not worth it for them

if you are a parent, or may become one, or you are otherwise likely to arrive in the situation of caring for a child while they eat, promise me this: if a child doesn't like a certain food or food group, you will ask them WHY. and specifically, you will pay attention to either confirming or ruling out "it makes my mouth itch" or "it makes my stomach hurt," both of which are medically important info that children may not provide unprompted. which i know because this PSA has been brought to you by "i spent my entire childhood and much of my early teens eating peas and lentils while wondering why everyone else liked the Violently Itchy Mouth Sensation so much, like were they a bunch of legume masochists or something, before i finally realized that Violently Itchy Mouth Sensation was in fact a sinister demon appearing only to me, and her true demonic name was: Legume Allergy"

Do not let your child suffer from spicy bananas!

i hate being jealous wdym youre interacting with all these other people im RIGHT HERE !!!

nosferatu? no. tuferatu. no es mi problema.

no mi circo no mis feratus

if we were just a couple of raccoons would u rummage through trash w me be honest

admittedly i know little of the subject but one would think, at 45 years of age, he would be a ryan goose by now

A few days ago someone remarked on me saying "10 year old people" in a post. We really do rarely use words for children that imply personhood or non familial social relations. There's always a ghost of a parent standing between the child and what you want to say.

call me crazy but i think public transportation should explicitly also be for actively drunk/high people. so they don’t, you know, drive under the influence.