Shade is to lounge in, not to throw

straight pride

talking to my infant son like im a youtuber

Whats up baby. Father here bringing you another spoonful of Gerber ham and gravy baby food

The ides of March is coming up what’s everyone getting me?

i never understood how we’ve reinvented heiroglyphics until now

it smells like upiwanttofuckyou in here

what’s upiwanttofuckyou

its a pretty particular smell that comes from young cactus flowers. it helps me go to sleep sometimes tbh

Cool. Wannna have sex?

yes

There needs to be a phrase for “I acknowledge your apology and appreciate it but it does not make things better.” instead of just saying “It’s okay.” all the time. 

thank you director fury

Roll for charisma to see if you can interact with this post.

You interact with the post but all eyes are on you now. You have a gut nervous feeling but manage to say the first thing in your mind.

Sparkling water is just Angry Water

Roll for intelligence.

People agree but throw rocks at you for saying it.

Avengers 4 (2019)

This is gonna be captain marvel and im gonna love every minute of it

Makes me want a hot dog real bad

Tom and Jerry reaction pics are my favourite