you think your crush is laying in bed thinking about you but in reality they’re reading about swords on Wikipedia

our friend saw cars 3 so we asked him to give us his honest review of it and all he said was “Lightning McQueen had a smart phone”

that’s all we need to know

5 Y hhyt guy I jo 8 oi 9 oh uthj g y8 giI’m u

Thanks

that was lightning mcqueen trying to contact us bro

kiss all your friends or whatever my chemical romance said

me, tossing mediocre content into the internet void: Validate Me

sometimes i think i cracked the code

just diagnosed with forehead kiss deficiency:/

the sport i’d add to the olympics is Stealing. there is no event or ceremony. whoever is able to locate and steal the medals technically earns them

This just feels right; it makes intuitive sense.

TWO MONTHS LEFT OF THE 2010S HOW ARE WE FEELING

two m;onths left of 2020 how th. how the f uck are we f,eelin g.. ... .

the real world is hell for bugs

we literally have an item called “bug spray.” it does nothing but harm and murder bugs. it is not called Bug Killing Spray, it’s called bug spray, because we don’t like them

we’re in hell but it’s not our hell its bug hell

me: [vibrating slightly because I had too much caffeine] everything in the world is my fault

FUCK conversation starters, we only use conversation STOPPERS in this house! “Oh hi, how was your day?” “I’d peg Michael Myers.” BOOM! Conversation, dead in a flash!

People in the 70s would wake up and be like I need to go hitchhiking right now

mfs be like good morning susan! another serial killer in the paper today, so not groovy! welp, time for our daily car ride with stranger !

i see it’s a Big Day Online for everyone who is using the same blog they made in 2011