WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE.

⭒☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━☆⭒

You meet Hudson Williams on a typical Monday morning that smells like coffee. He’s already there when you arrive – hoodie up, hands in pockets, pretending he’s not watching the door waiting for you to arrive.

When you walk in, he straightens his back, like someone pulled a string in his spine.

“Hey,” he says, voice warm, soft around the edges. You say it back, and something in his expression flickers – like he’s relieved you sound exactly like he imagined.

The director introduces you two, but Hudson barely hears anything. He’s too busy memorizing the way you tuck a strand of hair behind your ear, the way you smile politely, and the way you carry yourself.

You shake his hand, his grip is softer than you thought, and yours is steady. And for a moment, the world feels suspiciously quiet.

As the two of you get to filming, the director introduces a stunt that you and Hudson will be demonstrating. The stunt coordinator explains the sequence: you run, the platform collapses, you leap, hudson catches you.

Easy, choreographed, safe.

Hudson stands beside you, close enough that you can feel the warmth radiating off of him. He glances toward you, voice low enough only for you to hear. “I’ll catch you, I promise.”

You don’t know why, but your heart stutters at his words.

The first few takes are fine. You fall into his arms, he steadies you, you both laugh it off. Then take six happens, the platform collapses too early, your foot slips, and your body tilts backward into nothing. You don’t even get the chance to gasp.

Hudson is there – instantly – arms around you pulling you against him with a force that feels almost too protective, like you’re his. You land against his chest, fingers gripping his shirt, breath tangled within his.

The room goes completely silent. His hand slides up to cradle the back of your head, gentle, careful, like you’re a precious doll.

“You okay?” he whispers, voice shaking in a way that he couldn’t hide.

You nod, but you don’t move away from his warmth. Neither does he. For a moment, it’s just the two of you – your heartbeat against his, his minty breath brushing against your cheek, it felt like the world was holding its breath.

Someone on set ends up coughing. Hudson reluctantly lets go, but his hands trail down your arms, he’s memorizing the shape of you.

After that scene, something shifted between your relationship. Hudson walks beside you instead of behind you like he always was, checking your harness himself, he even offers his hand before every stunt – palm warm, steady, waiting. You take his hand, every time.

During lunch, he sits beside you, knees brushing against yours. During his breaks, he asks about your music, your favorite songs, the first concert you ever went to. He couldn’t help but listen to you like every word that came out of your pretty mouth mattered.

And every time you laugh at his jokes, he looks at you like he’s falling more and more in love with you in real time.

Today’s scene is supposed to be tense – hiding from the villain, pressed closely together in the shadows. The camera isn’t rolling yet, Hudson steps into your space, close enough that you can feel his breath against your face.

“Tell me if this is too close,” he murmurs, cheeks slightly flushing.

You look up to him heart racing. “It’s not.”

His smile softened, it was almost devastating to look at. The director calls action, Hudson doesn’t step back.

The final stunt ends with you landing upon his broad chest, both of you breathless, tangled in each other's space, laughing. Your hands are on his chest, his are on your waist, your faces inches apart. He looks at you like he’s engraving this moment into his brain.

“You okay?” he asks again, softer than ever.

“Yup.” You whisper, slightly popping your ‘p’.

Neither of you move for your position, and you know – this is no longer just acting.

⭒☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━☆⭒

A week later after the movie was released, fans went absolutely berserk over you and Hudson’s chemistry, edits were being made, paparazzi snapped photos of you and Hudson left and right.

Your publicist calls your phone. “You and Hudson are booked for The Tonight Show. Together. The internet is obsessed with you two, including me!”

You blink, ignoring the last part she said. “Together?”

“Yes. The chemistry is undeniable between you two!”

You don’t argue at her words, you knew they were too good to be true.

Hudson calls you right after your publicist hangs up with you.

“So,” he says. “Guess we’re doing Fallon.”

You smile, feeling almost excited for the moment you two are about to share. “Guess so.”

He hesitates, before speaking again. “I’m glad,” he whispers. “I like being ‘round you.”

Your breath slightly catches. “I like being ‘round you too.”

His smile was soft, relieved, a little stunned – though you couldn’t see him through the screen, but he couldn’t believe you said it back to him.

⭒☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━☆⭒

At the Tonight Show

The studio is buzzing – bright lights, warm laughter filled the air, the kind of energy that makes everything feel a little unreal. You and Hudson sit side by side on the couch, knees brushing, shoulders almost touching. He keeps glancing at you like he’s trying not to smile too hard.

Jimmy grins at the audience. “Okay, Okay – we have to talk about this movie. The chemistry you two have is insane!”

The crowd roars with cheers, Hudson’s facial expression reads ‘overwhelmed’, you hide your smile behind your hand.

Jimmy continues, “And we actually have a clip. Now, this is from one of the… uh… more intimate scenes!”

The audience screams, making Hudson’s eyes widen in shock, and you elbow him gently. He whispers, low enough for only you to hear. “Didn’t know they were showing that one.”

The screen behind you lights up. It’s the infamous rooftop scene – the one where your characters finally stop pretending they don’t want each other. The camera shows you pressed against a wall, city lights glow behind you but just enough to glow against your pretty face.

Hudson’s character steps into your space, close enough that your noses almost touch. Your voice in the clip is soft, unwavering with emotion. “You can’t keep doin’ this – saving me, risking everything.”

Hudson’s character looks at you, like you’re the only girl in the world. “I’m not risking anything,” he says. “I'm choosing you.”

The audience gasps with anticipation. On screen, he lifts your chin gently, thumb brushing against your jaw, and you lean into his touch like it's an instinct. The scene cuts right before the kiss, the studio erupts with screams.

Jimmy is laughing, fanning himself dramatically. “HELLO? That was… wow. That was romantic.”

Hudson is bright red, you’re trying not to laugh at how flushed his expression was.

Jimmy leans forward, curiously. “So, tell me – was it awkward filming that? Because it looks almost too natural.”

Hudson shakes his head, eyes soft, voice warm. “Honestly, Jimmy? It wasn't awkward at all.”

The audience screams with cheers again.

You raise a brow, teasingly. “Not even a little.”

Hudson shakes his head, smiling in that quiet, sincere way that makes your stomach flip. “No,” he says. “She makes it easy.”

The crowd loses it almost immediately. Jimmy clutches his chest. “My god, you two are killing us!”

Hudson laughs, but his foot finds yours under the desk – a small, secret touch the cameras don’t catch. You don’t dare to pull away. And for a moment, it feels like the whole world is watching the beginning of something neither of you can hide anymore.

Weeks after you and Hudson’s appearance on the Tonight Show, the two of you get asked to do another interview based off of all your edits, memes, and the Tonight Show clip.

The interviewer smiles politely, completely unaware of the storm you and Hudson are about to release. She announces what she’ll be showing you throughout the interview.

⭒☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━☆⭒

A tweet that says “Hudson is down BAD.”

Hudson reads it aloud, then nods furiously. “Oh, 100 percent.”

You whip your head toward him. “HUH?”

He shrugs, completely unaware of how flustered you look. “I mean… have you seen you?”

You blink, the interviewer blink, and the entire internet collectively just lost their shit.

“Hudson,” you whisper, “You’re supposed to lie in interviews.”

“I’m bad at lyin’.” he says, smiling at you like he just confessed to having a massive crush on you.

⭒☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━☆⭒

A meme of you two labeled ‘married behavior’.

You burst out laughing, Hudson leans against your shoulder, observing the screen.

“Married?” He says. “That’s… something.”

You tease, nudging your shoulder into his. “Scared of commitment, baby?”

He smirks, instantly catching the vibe you’re putting down. “Not with the right person.”

The interviewer drops her pen. You stare at him, appalled. He stares back, mocking your expression.

“Cut that,” he whispers to the camera guy. The camera guy definitely DOESN’T cut it.

⭒☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━☆⭒

A fancam captioned “they’re in love and i’m tired of pretending they’re not.”

Hudson watches it silently, jaw tight, eyes soft. Meanwhile, you’re watching him watch it.

The interview feels somewhat intimidating. “So… thoughts?”

Hudson turns towards you, voice low. “I think the fans are very observant.”

You nearly fall out of your chair; the interviewer’s jaw is completely open.

“Hudson,” you hiss, “You can’t just SAY things like that!”

“Why not?” he shrugs. “It’s biblically true.”

You bury your face into your hands. Hudson pats your back like he didn’t just set fire to the internet.

⭒☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━☆⭒

As soon as the cameras turn off, the interviewer exhales like she’s just survived a natural disaster. Hudson leans towards you, suddenly invading your space, whispering into your ear. “So… dinner after this?”

You glare at him, cheeks slightly flushed with embarrassment. “You just admitted you’re down bad for me on camera.”

He grins. “And?”

You sigh dramatically. “Fine. But you’re paying.”

You watch them. The brothers couldn't look more different. Sergei is much taller, and he has dark brown hair that beautifully contrasts with the deep ocean blue of his eyes. His shoulders are broad and the muscles on his arms make your lower stomach ache. Your mouth becomes dry. Sergei looks up, catching your gaze as he berates his brother.

He's probably pissed that Dimitri spent his birthday without him, inviting whores into his club white he's hammered. You look away, fumbling with the hem of your dress on your lap.

The second girl, the one opposite you, speaks up, "You're the virgin, right?"

You look at her and your eyebrows knit together. You nod slowly and the girl laughs. "Stay away from him then," she warns and motions to Sergei. "Little Dima's a fine client for your first time, but you're much too inexperienced for someone like Sergei. He doesn't like unpopped cherries," her voice is smooth like velvet but it hides a venom beneath.

"He'd break you. You better leave him to me," she continues with a wink and stands, sauntering over and offering Sergei her drink. The rim of her wine glass is stained red from her lips and she sends him a sultry smile. 

The previous girl smirks at the interaction. She pulls out a joint from her purse and nonchalantly dangles it in front of you. 

"Wanna smoke?"

You shake your head, suddenly feeling very ill, and you stand. You squeeze past her and down from the booth. Your ankle twists awkwardly in the unfamiliar stilettos and you groan, grasping the end of the table. 

This had been a horrible mistake.

You pull down the hem of your dress, which has ridden up your knee, as you walk by the brothers.

"Hey!" Dimitri calls after you, still extremely drunk, and you turn to see Sergei holding him back. You look away and the last thing you hear is a whine—"I paid extra for the virgin. Come back!" 

Once the cold London air hits your skin, you let out a shaky breath, and slump down on the sidewalk. You have no money for a cab and you have a feeling the others won't want to leave so soon. 

"Fuck me," you grumble into your hands.

"Hm, that is why you're here, right?" A low, dark voice chuckles from behind you, and you quickly stand and spin around.

Sergei Kravinoff stands in front of you. His arms are crossed over his chest, muscles straining against the white shirt he's wearing. His suit jacket has been long forgotten somewhere. He looks relaxed enough. "My apologies, I did not mean to scare you—or insult you. I just assumed you would be cold."

Your gaze flickers to your bare arms and your cheeks burn. "O-oh, yes, right," you say sounding as calm as you can, considering he's the most attractive man you've spoken to in years, and follow him as he gestures for the inside of the lounge again. 

Inside, Dimitri has happily found himself in between the two hookers you came with and your stomach sinks.

From beside you, Sergei chuckles again and he looks at you. "Would you like to join them? Dima did say he paid a lot of money upfront for you." 

You're frozen for a moment; watching the roughness of their lips meet and hearing the obscene sounds they make. You shake your head no and so Sergei leads you into a quieter room without another word. 

There is an empty bar, the lounge being closed at this hour, and you suddenly feel stupid sitting on that stool as Sergei makes you a drink. 

When he hands you the clear liquid, you take a sip expecting some form of vodka and you're pleasantly surprised to realize it's only lemon water. The straw falls from your lips as Sergei walks over and sits on the stool beside yours.

He watches you intensely and your heart thumps rhythmically against your chest. 

"You don't look like a hooker," he states, his blue eyes locked onto yours. A smirk curls his lips. "Hookers usually aren't virgins."

You fiddle nervously with your straw. "I'm not a hooker—I mean, not really? This is my first time—" You pause, catching yourself and you look away from Sergei's intense gaze. "Well, I- I suppose I just wanted the pesky thing gone, " you laugh dryly, "and the extra cash can't hurt—"

"You foolish girl," Sergei interrupts and you meet his gaze. Embarrassment burns in your stomach. 

"Excuse me?"

Composing himself, Sergei's smirk disappears and his hand slides over to rest on your knee, using his thumb to gently slide up the small slit in your dress.

Using his polished shoe, he hooks it under the stool and effortlessly pulls you closer to him. His hand settles on the underside of the stool as you stumble forward.

You inhale, his touch on your bare skin sending shivers down your spine. Sergei's hand moves closer to your inner thigh as he leans in, his breath hot on your neck. "You're shaking," he observes as his teeth threaten to nip the skin on your throat. "I can tell you aren't cut out for this, little bunny. Anyone could devour you."

His words ring in your ears and you feel anger stir in your stomach. You know deep down he's right but hearing him read you so well is humiliating. You don't know this man, you shouldn't want to prove yourself to him but you do. He's pushing all the right buttons and he knows it. 

You don't think when you lean forward and kiss him. You don't stop to wonder why he came out to talk with you when the other girl wanted him so badly. It doesn't matter because his hand finds itself in your hair as he deepens the kiss.

Without a word, he's standing and lifting you up and onto the bar. You wrap your arms around his neck, tilting your head to taste him better. He hasn't drank and you're now thankful for the lemon water because whatever slight buzz you had from the champagne is long gone.

Sergei's lips trail down to your neck again as his hands tighten around your waist. He pulls away for a moment, a golden twinkle in his gaze as he laughs. "Ну, ты сюрприз. (Well, you're a surprise)." 

You gasp when he holds onto your hair again and leaves love bites above the neckline of your dress right above your breasts. This is as far as you've ever gotten with men, and the realization that things could escalate looms over you. 

Sergei kisses your cheek and whispers in your ear. "I won't fuck you like this." His voice sends a shiver up your spine. "If you would like, come home with me. We'll do this right," he promises and there is an intensity in his gaze you don't dare refuse. 

The entire taxi ride to his penthouse, you feel like you're on a cloud. Sergei is kissing you softly in the backseat, his calloused hands touching you so reverently as he whispers sweet nothings into your ear.

You moan, eyelids fluttering shut as you hold him close, your arms wrapped around his shoulders now. "Tryin' to sell this beautiful body, tsk," he grumbles, squeezing your hips. "What a waste that would have been. You're mine," Sergei nips posessively at your earlobe and you grind your hips into his.

It's intoxicating, hearing him call you his as if you hadn't just met.

"Sergei," you whimper, tugging at the baby hairs on his nape.

"Shh, Принцесса (Princess). Don't you worry. I'll take good care of you."

His bed is warm and supple and the minute you're laying on the plush blankets and soft furs, you sink into them as his weight hovers over you. His beard scratches against your neck as he hikes up your dress, his large palm splayed across your thigh. You buck your hips, attempting to chase the hint of pleasure he had awarded you in the taxi. 

Slowly, his fingers curl under your panties and suddenly, you're panicking and you sit up. Your head slams into his chin and he springs up as well, his eyes wide and confused.

"What is it?" he grumbles, lifting a hand and gently rubbing your head where you hit him, soothing any pain you could be feeling. He removes his other hand and settles it on your hip instead.

He can see the fear in your gaze and he lifts his other hand to cup your cheek. "Breathe," he strokes his thumb across your cheekbone. "I won't hurt you, little bunny. You're okay. We'll go as slow as you need and you can tell me to stop anytime."

He sounds so serious and you nod, taking in his words. Sergei's lips find yours again and he kisses you deeply, using his tongue to explore your mouth. His hand moves from your cheek to the back of your head as he gently guides you down again, still kissing you as his knee slots in between your thighs. He gently rocks himself against you, applying pressure to your core and when you moan against his lips, he smirks. 

Sergei pulls away and his hands dip down to your hips again. He looks at you expectantly before he pulls away your panties. Once you nod, he quickly throws your panties across the room and leaves you bare as he bunches up your dress around your waist. 

"So beautiful," he mutters, his voice hoarse and thick, as he kisses between your shoulder and neck. With one hand, he begins to circle your sensitive clit and with the other he pulls down the strap of your dress and bra, exposing your nipple—which he happily takes into his mouth. 

The sensation is overwhelming and you shut your eyes, letting moans of pleasure escape your lips. His weight feels heavy over you but he keeps himself up, careful not to crush you underneath him. He works you open with his fingers, his lips moving from your breasts to your throat. 

You feel like you're on fire.

"More," you whimper breathlessly, arching up into him as he curls his fingers.

Sergei hums, satisfied with how wet and open you are for him. Once his touch leaves you, you sink further into the mattress as you catch your breath.

You barely register the shuffling of clothes or movement as your eyelids flutter. His large hand resting on your cheeks pulls you back into reality and you feel his cock touch your thigh. 

Your eyes widen at the sensation. 

"Tell me this is what you want," he mutters, looking you dead in the eye. "I want to hear you say it."

"I want you," you whisper. You mean every word. "Please."

The heat in your stomach worsens when you feel the pressure and you whine. You jerk your hips away from the slight pain, but Sergei holds you still. He presses gentle kisses to your shoulder, whispering sweet words as he continues to push. 

He feels large inside you and you bite down on your lip, dulling the slight pain by focusing on the new pain in your lip. Sergei senses the tension in your body and he looks up. His hair falls over his eyes but you can see him frowning. The hand that isn't holding himself up, the one that was on your hip, moves to pull your lip from your teeth.

Instead, he pushes his thumb into your mouth. "Bite down if it hurts. Don't hurt yourself because of me." 

You nod, eyes a little glassy. He's stopped moving inside you, giving you some time to adjust. Your teeth sink into his skin, keeping eye contact as your lips close around his thumb.

You think back to the warning you'd received earlier. You'd been told to stay away from him, that he would break you. And while you have no doubt he could break you, he's being so gentle you would almost guess he doesn't want to. 

Slowly, he pulls out and you gasp around his thumb. He leans down, adjusting his weight on his arm, and kisses your forehead as he drags back in. This time, the pain is replaced by an intense pleasure and you feel lightheaded. 

It feels so good. It's like nothing you could have imagined and you can't help but wonder if it's like this all the time, or only with him.

Sergei leans down, his thumb leaving your mouth with a soft pop and kisses you sweetly as he fucks you. He's being careful and gentle and you're a mess underneath him. You've lost track of all time and place as he kisses your lips and neck. 

"S-Sergei?" you moan.

"Yes, Принцесса (Princess)," he mutters into your ear, his movements becoming a bit more frantic as he chases his release. 

"I- I think I'm close."

He kisses your cheek, smirking as he thrusts particularly hard. "Hm? Are you?" he teases.

You nod, clutching his arm as he fucks you harder. 

Sergei leans in, tilting his head as he pretends he can't hear you. "What's that?"

You moan, legs shaky. "I'm close," you whimper louder. "Please can I come?"

With a final kiss to your temple, Sergei bottoms out and he presses his mouth to your ear. "Come for me, little bunny," he says, and the cord snaps. You groan, clenching around him. Your stomach tightens and you feel Sergei's dick twitch as he fills the condom you hadn't even realize he'd put on. You'd been so overwhelmed by every little sensation. Your head falls back into the pillows, exhaustion overtaking you.

"Shh, good girl," his voice pulls you back into reality again and you suddenly feel empty. Strong arms hook under your legs and back, holding you to a hard chest as he walks into the bathroom and you hear running water. "You're okay."

You blink, fully coming to as you smell lemons and vanilla and feel the warmth of the water on your sweaty skin. The window outside shows the pink sky.

The sun is rising, which makes you wonder how long have you been fucking? Sergei's hand caresses your cheek as he holds you to his chest in the tub. He's smoothing his hand on your knee as he pours water from his hand onto your skin. When his other hand comes up to massage your scalp, your hair intertwining with his fingers, you hum in pleasure. 

"If you had let some random dick take your virginity, I guarantee he wouldn't have run you a bath," Sergei whispers, a hint of jealousy and possessiveness in his voice that you don't mind.

You let your eyelids flutter closed again, simply enjoying the moment. It had been everything and more. 

You wake up surrounded by familiar furs and blankets, your skin smooth and hair washed as you lay on your side. Blinking, you adjust to the sunlight and realize that Sergei's arm is draped across your side, holding you close to him. Smiling a little, you gently pry his arm away and sit up. You gather your clothes, quickly changing into them. 

Holding your heels, you walk down the stairs of the penthouse towards the door. An unfamiliar longing bubbles in your stomach and your hand pauses on the handle. You turn, looking for a pen and paper. Once you find some, you scribble your name and number. Balls in his court, you think, chewing on your lip as you slip out into the hall. 

As the door shuts, Sergei's eyes open instantly. He'd heard everything. A small smirk curls his lips as he can only imagine what you'd written on the note. 

It worked in your favor that he was never one who wanted for much. Surrounded by people with ulterior motives that they wished to achieve through proximity to you, it was easy to notice the man who merely enjoyed your presence. As a child all he wanted was to learn to fight for Rome. As a man, he fought at the frontlines. 

It helped in convincing your father that Marcus Acacius would be the biggest asset to your rule. It did not help when pondering upon the best reward for his victory in battle. Honoring him with medals was out of question for it was too early in your reign. It could be seen by some as favoritism towards your husband rather than a suitable accolade for bringing victory to Rome. So you decided on something unofficial. 

“It is a beautiful villa.” 

“I do not disagree, Caesarea,” he said, rising from his chair in front of you. He had changed from his ceremonial armor to his most favored toga and palla. “Only, it is not much of a reward for me when I have no use for a villa without my dear wife in it.” 

“I can be in it,” you said, a suggestive smile playing at your lips as you thought of the things you could do with him there. 

“That merely makes it a villa for us to retreat to. Like the many other villas you own.” 

“This will be a villa you own.” 

“It matters not who owns it. I have your villas to visit. I do not need more.” 

“Any other officer would be grateful.” 

“This officer,” he said with a playful glint in his eyes as he trapped you against your desk. “is married to the Empress.”

“And now I pay the price for it,” you said, reaching out and taking the edge of his palla between your fingers. The dark green threads woven into the borders were soft to the touch, calming you the way they’d been for years. “Put me out of my misery, will you? Tell me what would satisfy you.” 

“You, Caesarea.” 

“You have me.” 

“On the contrary,” he said, placing his hand on the back of your shoulder where no fabric covered you. You took a deep breath, affected by having his touch once again long after the nights you shared in the camp. “Rome has you and she is too possessive to allow me full reign even for a few days.”

“You would wage a war against her to have me?” You teased. 

“Rome must understand I come in peace,” he said as he caressed your cheek with the back of his hand. “I only want her Empress’ attention for Rome’s benefit. So she may rest easy knowing we are hard at work producing heirs who would serve her. Besides, I don’t want her to feel the wrath of a weary Empress. She must give you respite from aqueducts and roads and—” he said, scrunching up his nose and nodding at a scroll draped over your desk. “Sewer maintenance.” 

“I cannot avoid the unpleasant subjects, Marcus.” 

“I know,” he spoke gently, the same boy who saw the girl behind the Princess was embracing the woman behind the Empress. “I only ask that you find respite. Perhaps we shall retire to one of these villas for a while. When the senate is in recess. You are warranted some relaxation after your tireless war efforts.” 

“I did not fight on the battlefield, General,” you laughed. 

“I did. The victory is yours and the people sing your praise. They know Minerva has descended from the heavens in the form of their Empress. Your father was praised for victories that other Generals brought Rome and you deserve it for your first victory as Empress. I hear whispers of attempts to separate you from this victory, my dear, and we must not allow that.” 

You took a deep breath, trembling as you exhaled. He was right. Had this campaign ended in loss, you would’ve borne the wrath of the people. Why then should you not enjoy the fruits of victory? 

It was a tantalizing offer. You hadn’t had much time for yourself ever since it was decided you would ascend the throne. Less so since you became Empress. As long as you worked tirelessly, you could stand up to criticism. There’d been attempts brewing all around you to bring you down. If you looked away even for a moment... 

As though he understood what ailed your heart, he pulled you into his chest, broad and strong to hold you as you held all of Rome. He said, “I understand your worries. But you cannot give up all joy to prove yourself to a people who will never stop finding fault. Remember, they are not the arbiters of your worth. Only the Gods have such power over you.”

You smiled a half smile, took a deep breath and relaxed against his chest. “I could never cease worrying about my place.” 

“Allow me to ease them if only for a while each day.” 

⌘

Nothing good came from marrying the General of your army. 

It was what your father told you when you expressed to him that you wanted to marry Marcus. Generals married women from the Emperors’ families to strengthen their bond and prevent one from overthrowing the other. But the brides tended to be the Empreror’s daughter or sister. Not the Empress herself. To invite a man to your bed was to submit to him and a ruling Empress cannot afford for him to be powerful and an object of public adoration. 

You should have listened to your father. 

You were certain that Marcus would never overthrow you or influence your rule as though he himself was Emperor. But you never realized just how much torment the powerful man could inflict upon you on a human level. 

“I hate you.” 

“You don’t.” 

“I do!” You snarled like an untamed beast awaiting gladiator blood. “I hate you and I will have your head on a stick at the gates of Rome if you don’t do as I say.” 

“Isn’t that quite an overreaction, my dear?” He asked, touching the peacock feather to your swollen cunt. You shuddered under him, the weight of his knees on your spread thighs preventing you from kicking about. He laughed and bent down to kiss you, laughing when you turned your head away. 

“Fuck you!” You spat, squealing when he dealt a sharp slap to your core. 

“Is that any way to speak to your husband?” 

“It is if my husband is a monster.” 

“Does it make me a monster to exact my marital rights from my woman?” 

“Are you just a boy, Acacius? Do you not know that exacting your rights requires using your cock?” 

“My marital rights entitles me to your body,” he said, demonstrating it by pushing two fingers in your cunt and curling them inside as though grabbing you. “And I will do what I please with it.”  

“I have marital duties and I can’t perform them when you are fully clothed and refusing to let me touch you.” 

“Your duty is to please me and I decide what pleases me. As you decide what pleases you.” 

“You did not please me last night and your most certainly haven’t pleased me this morning.”

“What kind of woman demands carnal pleasure…” he taunted, laughing when you punched his chest with every ounce of energy you could muster. In your defence, you did not have much energy left owing to his hourlong torture. That reminder didn’t make you any less embarrassed. 

“You did this to me,” you whined. “I wasn’t this way before you fuu aaah—” you cried when he pressed his palm to your sensitive nub. You grabbed his wrist as he rubbed it in circles but did not attempt to pull him away. You hated how he could control you with a simple touch but your refusal to stop him showed you were a willing prisoner. 

“I have no complaints,” he said as you moaned under his expert touch. “I like you this way. I like that I can bring you to this state. My fiery princess who rebelled her way to the throne obeying me like a mare in my reins.”

You were most certainly not obeying him. “I—I— not, mmm—” Whatever you were doing now, it was more humiliating than obedience. Every word you’d learned refused to find your lips, leaving you making pathetic sounds like a wounded animal. 

“What did you say?” 

“Fuck me!” 

“Yes, Empress,” he spoke softly before tying your wrists to the headboard with the veil he’d taken off you the previous night. He knelt by the bed and pinned your thighs in place, making you shudder with anticipation of what you knew would come. 

He dove into your cunt like a man starved, tongue lapping up your slick as his nose pressed against your clit. Marcus had never tasted anyone before just as every self respecting man. But that was before you cried from the pain of penetration the night of your wedding. Your suggestion that one of your ladies could ease you open for him with her mouth had sent him over the edge. He was not going to allow someone else to have even part of his bride. Especially not on his wedding night.

Curiosity got the better of him and time was running out to consummate the marriage. Curiosity gave him the most delicious way to bring you to heel. To make you sleep rather than work all night. To relax you when you were wound tight with frustration. To erase all worries from your heart and replace it with marital bliss. Whoever decided it was beneath men to lick cunt certainly did not know what it could do to a woman. How it made them wail and moan and forget their own names. 

You were a scholar of many disciplines, an intellect who had made scholarly men from all the world bow to you in awe. Marcus did not read much. Only that which you made him read. It was no surprise he felt most powerful when he rendered you speechless. 

“Marcus!” 

He hummed as he licked you, hating to interrupt your desperate cries even for a moment but not so cruel as to ignore when you called him. Every cry of his name emboldened him in a way that crowds of Romans screaming ‘Acacius!’  never managed. 

Fresh bruises blossomed on your thighs where he held you down. No matter who won this battle, he knew you would accrue more. He only hoped you would leave more crescent shaped marks on his flesh in the process. Though immobilized, you did everything in your control to avail more of him. You thrust against his mouth like a man would force his member inside a lowly man. But shame did not find Marcus as your movements were accompanied by your needy sounds. 

Your cunt dripped arousal and he lapped it all up like honeyed fruit at his victory feast. This, your taste, was all he longed for when at war. He had been a married man for only a short while. Had played the role of husband for a much shorter time. But he loved it instantly because it was a life to be had with you. It was cruel that he was snatched away from it almost immediately. Now that he had returned, he had every intention of compensating for lost time. 

You got wetter under his tongue and fingers. Your thighs kept his head between them in the sweetest prison. Your cries of his name deteriorated into incoherence noises until all he heard was your silent breaths. 

In moments, you would come undone on his tongue and he would taste your nectar. But not that day. He pulled away, grinning when you cried as though in pain. Your hole fluttered like a beating heart and he longed to return to it and provide all that it desired. He needed to fill you with his cock, feel your tight wet walls embrace him as he spent his masculine energy on his woman.

But he wouldn’t. Not until you broke and gave in to his demands.

He climbed back into bed and pulled you close. For all your claims that you hated him, you were quick to burrow into his chest. You were still trembling from your ruined pleasure as you had multiple times since he woke you. 

“Please,” you sputtered through trembling lips. 

“You know what to do,” he said, reminding you of the conversation from last night. If you wanted to earn the joys of carnal pleasure, you would stop working yourself to your grave. The Royal physicians had made it clear that stress was detrimental to conceiving an heir. You wanted terribly to conceive. But like a child, you wanted to achieve it without compromising on any aspect of your current life. 

“None would need to know of my absence but a few. But I fear I would continue to be stressed about the goings on in the palace. Father is becoming older and…” you sighed, not wishing to speak the words aloud. Death came to all. Father was looking forward to it, tired of the ailments that crushed him the way his fears over his incapable sons once did. But you wanted to give him a grandson so he’d journey to Elysium in peace. 

“Have your people report to you wherever we choose to go,” he said as he released you from your veil that bound your wrists. He caressed your hair and you relaxed under the warmth of his touch.

“I could,” you said as you burrowed into him. Your imagination flooded with the streets of Tibur and all that you could do together as husband and wife rather than Empress and General. The last time you were there together was as Princess and the only soldier you trusted with your life. Tibur was only a half day away by carriage. If you were needed, you could rush back to the capital. It was also a beautiful place. 

You had access to the grand villa that was passed down generations of Rome’s rulers. There would be no awkward asking of permission from Father. No lies or excuses as to why you needed such a place for a whole month only for yourself. There would be no need to explain the General’s month-long holiday coinciding with yours. You were Empress and it was known to all that Marcus was your husband. It was also expected that you conceive an heir. 

You could do as you wished. 

“What do you think of Tibur?”

“Obnoxious.” 

You laughed, knowing his distaste for the rich crowd that liked to spend their coin there. Every politician at the capital he found intolerable flocked to Tibur. 

“I can do Tibur. Urgent work can be brought to me there. I have a villa where we won’t be disturbed by the obnoxious type you hate so much.” 

“I will go anywhere with you,” he said without theatrics. Casually. As though he was telling you what he had for dinner. 

“Careful, Marcus. I might take that as a challenge, take you to some terrible places.” 

“I would enjoy Tartarus if it were with you.” 

“I thought you were no poet.” 

“I am no poet. I am but a man and you torment me,” he said, sounding very much like the poets you’d read. 

“I torment you?” 

“You do. The Gods have condemned me to Tartarus for all the sins I have committed in life.” 

“Oh? So you claim to be dead now.” You thrust against him, feeling his cock come alive quickly from how long he’d deprived himself of you. “What I want most is alive so I’m not too hurt.” 

“I should have known you only wanted me for my cock.” 

“It is an impressive cock, Marcus,” you said, beginning to stroke him. You watched as his breaths changed, relished just how he did in toying with you. It was the only time he was ever cruel with you. You didn’t know he was capable of such evil until he played your body like a flute, his mouth and fingers making you sing wherever they touched. 

You gathered up saliva and spat on your hand. The jug of olive oil was a little too far away to access in your state of mind. 

“Thank you, Caesarea,” he said, arms spread on the top of the cot as he watched you work his cock. “Will my cock be rewarded too?” 

“Why?” You asked, an eyebrow raised. 

“For being so impressive.” 

“It hasn’t done what I require of it,” you said as you stroked him torturously slowly. “It hasn’t been in me since you returned from the battlefront. Now that you mention it, I should punish your cock. Show it what Tartarus truly is since the man it is attached to believes to be there already,” you said, adding a flick of your wrist as you stroked him. He whimpered, giving away his approval for this technique. You bit the inside of your cheek, holding back a smile. 

“Not being inside you is Tartarus.” 

“Is that so?” You asked, feigning sweetness in your tone. He’d had the upper hand since he first bedded you. But you were learning some tricks too. The man was not always in control as he wished to be. A servant girl let you know that they sometimes liked to recline on the lectus and allow a woman to act upon them. Some of the ladies had told you ways to take some control from the husband. You used your other hand to cup his testicle. He whined, very unlike himself. Very unlike the General of Rome. Oh how delicious he looked powerless beneath you. He reminded you now of the young boy from your childhood. His vulnerabilities surfaced on his handsome features and he grabbed your wrist but did not force you to stop.

“My dear husband, if you knew it was Tartarus, why did you inflict it upon yourself?” 

The man who gave you the ultimatum was nowhere to be found. “A month long retreat or you won’t have your drooling cunt stuffed,” you said in a deep voice with the intent to sound like him. “How does it feel now, Marcus?” 

“Temptress!” 

“Oh I don’t know to tempt. I have been wed only a short while and my husband refuses to fuck me. Where could I have learned to tempt?” 

“Don’t forget I knew you before you became my wife,” he said, pulling you onto his lap. You yelped at his sudden movement but adjusted yourself on his lap. You were close enough to see every pore on his skin. Every individual curl drenched in sweat. “I remember the women you wove with. The sounds you made when that light haired girl snuck into your chambers at night.” 

“How improper of you to listen in on your Princess.” 

“You simply sounded too good. I couldn’t stop myself,” he breathed into your ear, making you shudder at the thought of him stroking himself to your sounds. “I should remind you what you sounded like so you may be charitable in my sentencing.” 

Before you could make sense of his words, he pulled you flush against his chest. A cry escaped your lips at the sudden penetration of your cunt. You grabbed his arm, your nails sinking into his sun kissed skin as you sunk down on him. He had spent all morning licking and fingering your cunt, never allowing you to reach completion for you had not yet agreed to a month-long retreat. Yet you were unprepared and cried out. 

“Do your duty, mea vita,” he said, rolling his hips. You should have felt a semblance of power at being atop him. But he was still the man. A bull of a man, large and powerful, capable of throwing around men larger than you. 

“How?” 

His hand snaked up to your breast, fondling the flesh absentmindedly. “Fuck yourself on my cock, girl. I thought I taught you better.” 

The walls of your cunt squeezed around his cock at the way he spoke to you. No one called you girl. A beautiful girl, a smart girl, always with some praise attached. It ceased when you became a woman. You became a Lady. With increasing power, that reduced as well. 

Marcus truly was the only one left with any power over you and it did not frighten you one ounce. 

You held onto his shoulders as you rose off his lap and sunk back down. 

“That’s it. Keep going,” he said and you nodded. Encouraged by his words, you fucked yourself on him. Great men kept an aura of power about them. Luxurious fabrics, glittering gold and gemstones, smaller men they looked at like dirt beneath their sandals. Marcus hadn’t adopted that way of life. He didn’t need to accessorize to look mighty for he exuded it. 

“Put your feet flat here,” he said, pulling your feet to his desired position. Suddenly, the motions were easier. He knew what to do even from his position. Had he let another woman be atop him this way before? How else did he know? Jealousy tried to reign over you but Marcus and his words reined you in. He issued commands- change angles, see what feels better, hold on to me, clench that hole around me—

“There you go, good girl,” he praised, his voice ever so slightly strained as your actions affected him. You found ways to make it easier, more pleasurable, and he encouraged you. 

He gripped your jaw and prodded your lips with two fingers. You opened and he thrusts them inside your mouth like it was a whore’s cunt. When he pulled out, a string of your saliva connected you until it didn’t. He took his slick fingers to your cunt lips, finding the small spot of pleasure he’d used all morning to turn you into a blubbering mess. 

You thrust yourself onto his cock for as long as you could. Having been out of battle and behind a desk for too long, you found that your stamina had reduced. When you’d grown tired, you changed your position intuitively. One foot remained on the bed beside him while the other knee supported it on his other side. The position had you lie on Marcus and the quickness with which he held you to his chest made you melt like sugar in the rain. 

No longer able to thrust, you reduced your motions. You rubbed your too sensitive clit against him, not needing the taxing up and down motions for your own benefit. You did not know if this change brought him any pleasure. You did not care. He had been cruel all morning and did not deserve for his pleasure to be placed ahead of yours. 

He tipped your head up to meet his beautiful brown eyes and kissed you. Not the polite kisses you shared in front of others. It was the passionate kind shared only between a man and his wife. The kind you theorized to be laced with opium. Why would it be restricted only to wedded couples if not for its intoxicating nature? Why else would it be lowly to kiss so in public? 

He was a taste you couldn’t find anywhere else. Would never seek anywhere else. It took your breath away, but you kept at it. His tongue explored between your lips how they did between the lips you kept hidden. His taste was of you, a little salty and sour with a hint of sweetness. It was how he’d described you. Like your slick was a novel wine presented to you at court. 

Marcus’ heart beat rhythmically against your ear as you lied atop him, your hips still rolling in pursuit of the orgasm you’d been chasing for so long. One hand cupped your bottom, encouraging your movements. The other cradled your head to his chest, holding you like you were something precious. He whispered sweet words to you, his voice strong yet soft. Thoughts purged from your heart. Thighs shook and toes curled. His words drowned in the same pool of darkness that you did and suddenly, a blinding light. 

He must have moved you. You were still above him, but your weight didn’t seem an issue to the great general. He rutted in and out of your trembling cunt and another orgasm built up though you hadn’t recovered from the first. A cry escaped you as your clit, rubbed raw, hurt from the friction. 

“H-hurts,” you stammered, placing your palms against his rigid chest and pushing yourself away from him. 

“Now?” He asked, fucking up into you. 

“Mmmm!” Was all that you could bear to spurt as indescribable pleasure sunk its teeth into you again. 

He grunted with each thrust and you panted from the effort of trying to catch breath. You could’ve died there atop your love and it would’ve been the most merciful death. He was everywhere. Hands and lips grabbed at your flesh. Every lick and pinch and bite was him taking what you’d surrendered to him the day you wed. 

A growl of your name and you felt a warm spurt deep inside you. You felt safe, properly claimed. You wanted to stay there, forgo work and set off to Tiber as soon as you could. 

“You have a busy day ahead, Caesarea.” 

“Are you going to call me Caesarea when your cock is still inside me?” 

“Rome does not gain a new Empress upon the location of my cock.” 

You snorted and buried your face in his chest. It would soon be time to wake. Servants would mill about the room with food and drink, preparations for a bath, scrolls from officials. Marcus would be away overseeing troops restoring a dam and then conduct an inspection of a health center. 

He laid you out on your back and placed a rather large cushion under your bottom. “Keep me inside you as long as you can.” 

Warmth reached your face and you wanted to hide. But there was nothing to hide. Not from the boy you’d leaned on since childhood. Not from the man who had become to you as roots to a tree. 

“You should have a drink,” you said, testing the waters. You trusted him, of course. But you were a woman and men had expectations. You were his Empress but also his wife. There was no precedent to the right conduct in such a marriage. 

Under the sight of others, you kept to passum* as a married woman. You couldn’t break too many rules. Only that which were most important and only at the right time. Nevertheless you asked for wine so you could find the boundaries of your marriage. It felt rotten ro test a man who had only ever been good to you. But not knowing something so important about your intimate life made you feel ill. 

Where would Marcus Acacius draw the line? How much would he tolerate? 

“Only if you would join me."

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