im realizing very fast that people do not in fact know that sometimes things in stories suck on purpose and it sucking is the point

If you're a new writer and you're asking yourself "is this too personal, is this too much, will people think this is weird" that feeling is the exact location of your actual voice. The stuff that makes you want to close the laptop is the stuff nobody else could write. The safe version is always worse. Always. I have never once read something and thought "this would have been better if it was a little less honest." go further. It's always go further.

The OBSESSION with identity is so crazy like the view that when you do something it immediately becomes part of your identity and all the parts of you have to click together to become “person who wakes up early” or “person who reads” no you can literally just do something without restructuring your whole performance of personhood around it. I don’t know what to tell you except that you will never be able to have an entirely unfractured view of yourself or that you will be able to rationalize all the complex parts of yourself into the phrase “person who x” like you should just be doing things without performing them. Or aestheticizing them. Just try different things on and keep what works for you. Otherwise you will never learn and grow!

i think i love tragedy as a genre because narratively, human life is a tragedy. and i do not mean human life is inherently tragic, or bad, or sad, or meaningless. not in the slightest. but that our lifetimes fit the genre conventions of tragedy in the classical sense because the end is written from the very beginning; we die. there is literally no other option. we are as powerless against death as oedipus was against killing his father and as phaedra was against falling in love with hippolytus. and we spend every day knowing this. and so our lives are, like tragedies, about the series of choices we make with the knowledge of an inevitable end written in stone always waiting for us in the finale, and how we choose to arrive there

i think i love tragedy as a genre because narratively, human life is a tragedy. and i do not mean human life is inherently tragic, or bad, or sad, or meaningless. not in the slightest. but that our lifetimes fit the genre conventions of tragedy in the classical sense because the end is written from the very beginning; we die. there is literally no other option. we are as powerless against death as oedipus was against killing his father and as phaedra was against falling in love with hippolytus. and we spend every day knowing this. and so our lives are, like tragedies, about the series of choices we make with the knowledge of an inevitable end written in stone always waiting for us in the finale, and how we choose to arrive there

obviously im biased but modernly hotd and cyberpunk 2077 are the best examples of this. the dragons are all going to die. rhaenyra is going to die. it cannot be stopped. we know this. it doesnt matter. we want to know how it gets there. V is going to die. it cannot be stopped. we know this. it doesn't matter. we want to know how they get there. you are going to die. it cannot be stopped. you know this. it doesnt matter. what matters is how you get there.

The exact translation is “ale killed us” which is somehow better