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tommy: *plays the able sisters*

The Full Anemoi Cycle

Absolute beginner adult ballet series (fabulous beginning teacher)

40 piano lessons for beginners (some of the best explanations for piano I’ve ever seen)

Excellent basic crochet video series

Basic knitting (probably the best how to knit video out there)

Pre-Free Figure Skate Levels A-D guides and practice activities (each video builds up with exercises to the actual moves!)

How to draw character faces video (very funny, surprisingly instructive?)

Another drawing character faces video

Literally my favorite art pose hack

Tutorial of how to make a whole ass Stardew Valley esque farming game in Gamemaker Studios 2??

Introduction to flying small aircrafts

French/Dutch/Fishtail braiding

Playing the guitar for beginners (well paced and excellent instructor)

Playing the violin for beginners (really good practical tips mixed in)

Color theory in digital art (not of the children’s hospital variety)

Retake classes you hated but now there’s zero stakes:

Calculus 1 (full semester class)

Learn basic statistics (free textbook)

Introduction to college physics (free textbook)

Introduction to accounting (free textbook)

Learn a language:

Ancient Greek

Latin

Spanish

German

Japanese (grammar guide) (for dummies)

French

Sexy Leg Einstein Post

Gradient Zone Post

Wanna see but your hands shake like a bitch? Call over Michael so he can use his steady hands to thread the needle.

"When I was your age I was living on my own and independent" "Tommy, at Michael's age you were a street orphan" "Never said that was a good thing"

"it's gonna snow. I feel it in my bones"

Tubbo opens one of those tin cookie boxes to get a lil snack and it's just buttons.

Tommy will stop Ranboo as he's leaving the house for a syndicate meeting, just to wrap a knitted scarf around his neck and put a knitted hat on his head because it's way too cold to go out like that. "Tommy, I'm an enderman. We kinda don't get hot or cold." "Well if temperature doesn't matter then a few more layers won't kill you either"

Tubbo will eat 3 big slices of a cake Tommy made, then when he declines a fourth piece Tommy will be like "oh, you didn't like it?" "No Tommy if I didn't like it I wouldn't have eaten 3 slices already" "good good" *Tommy puts another slice on his plate*

You know all those berry bushes? Tommy will pick a few berries and sprinkle some vanilla sugar on top of them for Michael as a lil treat.

*sees Michael* "oh what a handsome lil lad"

*sees Fundy* "oh! You've grown so much!" "Tommy I've been fully grown for years-"

He always has a piece of candy on him

He will absolutely make way too much food every single time. Ranboo brings some of the leftovers with him to syndicate meetings.

I love this. This gives me life.

Also, let me add a few:

Tommy spends at least a few hours a day complaining about his various aches and pains. Tubbo really wishes he wouldn't do that while working in his mine and making them actively worse, but it's Tommy we're talking about here.

If my grandma taught me anything is that at a certain age you lose all diplomacy. Tommy didn't have much of that to begin with, and revival punched the last few drops of it out of him. Tubbo: "Now, Michael, remember to be careful with other people's builds, your uncle was exiled once for messing with one" Tommy: "That's bullshit, I was exiled because my stalker had more power than he should have and it shows, fuck you"

Listen to the Sunday Prime sermons at maximum volume because his hearing got f*cked over by all the tnt. You can hear it even from outside the mansion.

"Today is gonna rain, the air is all humid, I can feel it my throat" "It's completely sunny outside Tommy" (it starts raining an hour later)

Tommy sees literally any of his friends with no food in their hands: "You're so skinny, here, I got you a little snack, eat up".

Generally hands everyone food constantly because he has struggled with malnutrition for a long ass time and he's gonna make damn sure that none of his friends ever go through that.

There's? Tea times now?? Neither tubbo nor Ranboo remember even buying this whole cute, painted tea set. (Though the tea is p good and the snacks are amazing)

Tommy "I'll feed all of you fuckers through this winter" innit

"Tommy, we live in a snowbiome. It's always winter."

"I didn't really expect visitors so I just put together a little something" *wheels in a fucking family dinner*

He keeps slipping any of the kids a candy or a diamond whenever he sees one.

The diamonds are obviously ranboos

Listen. If Connor can be arrested for impersonating a veteran then Tommy can absolutely get a veteran discount.

“Back in my days people actually fought for something” “Wasn’t that something drugs?” “But they were good drugs Ranboob”

Tommy somehow manages to keep a variety of flowers alive and flourishing despite the hars weather of Snowchester. Tubbo and Ranboo are convinced it must be magic. 

“This house is a mess!” literally every surface is shining clean. There is one hair on the floor. Unacceptable. 

“I also prettied up a bit that old suit you gave me to mend” Ranboo’s suit is now covered in little flower patterns. It’s the only one he uses to go to syndacate meetings. 

He calls every potion he makes “an old family recipe”

It means cowardly.

But no, it means FORMIDABLE AND IMPRESSIVE. How even.

wings: “humans don’t like things they can’t understand, so if we’re going to levitate we should have wings. in fact we should probably have lots of wings, since we’re so big and impressive. humans like wings”

loud, booming voices: “fuck off Azrael the humans needs to be able to hear us.”

glowing: “no no no, it’s about visibility, right? the main human sensory organ works by detecting light, so if we emit light…” 

wheels: “why the hell are you shaped like that?” “piss off, the humans are really proud of this invention”

multiple faces/eyes: “it makes me relatable” “i swear to God it doesn’t–” “i need to see in every direction” “ Azrael you are a supernatural messenger of god you do not need–” “THE HUMANS NEED TO KNOW I’M WATCHING”

multiple limbs: “humans have lots of limbs! they like limbs” “look i let you keep the wings but–” “how do you expect me to walk?” “70,000 feet is not a reasonable number of feet, Azrael!” “fuck off i’m ENORMOUS” 

Old Testament Angels look like that because life in the ocean outnumbered life on land, so naturally when they visited earth they modeled their appearance on the most common lifeforms. Hench you get things like

radial symmetry (i.e. angels shaped like spheres) which is objectively cooler than bilateral symmetry (starfish understand this)

Very Numerous Limbs (2 is not the average number of arms in the ocean)

random glowing (bioluminescence)

just generally being objects of Absolute Terror to land dwellers

a thousand eyeballs being the Norm (have you seen scallops)

So, first thing, in most of the Hebrew Bible nobody can look directly at God’s face and live. God is simply too amazing/great/alien. You see God’s face, you die, not because God wants to kill you (God doesn’t!) but just … because it’s the inevitable result of contact with God’s holiness. (This is responsible for such incidents as the time God mooned Moses. Moses wanted reassurance, and asked to see God. God said, “well, you can’t see my face, but how about this. You hide in that crevice in the rock over there, and I’ll cover you up so you’re safe, and then I’ll pass by, and when I’m safely past you can look at my back, k?” And that’s how it happened.)

Anyway, even angels can’t bear to look at God, which is why the seraphim cover their faces in God’s presence. All the weird stuff you all have just been attributing to angels? Can be applied to God with at least as much plausibility.

And then we come to the seraphim covering their feet. Or, perhaps I should say “feet.” Because the Hebrew language, like many languages, has some euphemisms for genitalia. One of them is to call them “feet” or “hands.” This is how, for example, Ruth gets Boaz to marry her. She goes in and lays down at his “feet.” Wink wink, nudge nudge.

So when Isaiah tells us the seraphim are flying around covering their “feet” with a pair of wings, what they’re actually doing is this:

The Way Of Kings is an ongoing, assassin AU Dream SMP fanfiction that just hit 50k words. It updates every Thursday, and is expected to be longer than my previous longfic, Crown Of Straw, Sword Of Gold, which stands at a whopping 186k words. (Like enemies to lovers royalty DNF? Check out that fic for sure.)

The Way Of Kings is the story of Tommy and Dream, a young, winged assassin and his vicious guardian, whose lives are thrown into chaos when they are tasked to kidnap — kidnap, not kill — the half-enderman son of the notoriously merciless King Sam. Terrified for the safety of his only child, Sam employs his most trusted advisor, Phil, to find the assassin he assumes is guilty of the crime, unaware that he and his son have helped that very assassin escape a death sentence in jail in return for his help catching the real culprits. Their paths intertwine in the most gruesome of ways, setting off of a chain of events that could leave their lives — and the kingdom itself — in flaming shambles. Yet somehow, a bit of love finds its way in there too. Whether it will be enough to stop the destruction is another question, though.

If you would enjoy Technodad (rip canon bedrock bros lmao), abusive exile-style Dream, and a strange little ender prince with more secrets than he knows, this is the fic for you. If you enjoyed my other works — Crown Of Straw, Sword Of Gold or A Very Odd Family, Indeed — then you would love this one as well. I’m working really hard on it, and it’s a ton of fun. Come join me for the ride!

Please heed the tag warnings. The Way Of Kings deals with graphic depictions of violence, child abuse, references to torture/mild body horror/starvation, and all the other gritty goodness that an abusive primeboys fic should have. It WILL, however, have a happy ending. I can promise you that.

After such an exciting day of lore, relax with something to read.

For those of you who are wondering who else the original tweet is referring to, they are talking about Margaret Atwood, a very prominent feminist author (probably best known for The Handmaid’s Tale). Because she is a feminist the terfs assumed that she’d naturally side with them, and it came as a massive shock (for some reason) when she very publicly opposed and humiliated all of  terfdom.

But yeah I don’t know how terfs can possibly get through Discworld books without any kind of self-awareness but apparently they do. I’ve also seen them talking about how the Wives in the Handmaid’s Tale are all trans women (solely based on the fact that they are infertile). If you know anything about the plot or even the basic premise you’ll know how ludicrous that suggestion is.

Also there’s this

Also, this is the one that made me get all teary:

E.A. Deverell - FREE worksheets (characters, world building, narrator, etc.) and paid courses;

Hiveword - Helps to research any topic to write about (has other resources, too);

BetaBooks - Share your draft with your beta reader (can be more than one), and see where they stopped reading, their comments, etc.;

Charlotte Dillon - Research links;

Writing realistic injuries - The title is pretty self-explanatory: while writing about an injury, take a look at this useful website;

One Stop for Writers - You guys... this website has literally everything we need: a) Description thesaurus collection, b) Character builder, c) Story maps, d) Scene maps & timelines, e) World building surveys, f) Worksheets, f) Tutorials, and much more! Although it has a paid plan ($90/year | $50/6 months | $9/month), you can still get a 2-week FREE trial;

One Stop for Writers Roadmap - It has many tips for you, divided into three different topics: a) How to plan a story, b) How to write a story, c) How to revise a story. The best thing about this? It's FREE!

Story Structure Database - The Story Structure Database is an archive of books and movies, recording all their major plot points;

National Centre for Writing - FREE worksheets and writing courses. Has also paid courses;

Penguin Random House - Has some writing contests and great opportunities;

Crime Reads - Get inspired before writing a crime scene;

The Creative Academy for Writers - "Writers helping writers along every step of the path to publication." It's FREE and has ZOOM writing rooms;

Reedsy - "A trusted place to learn how to successfully publish your book" It has many tips, and tools (generators), contests, prompts lists, etc. FREE;

QueryTracker - Find agents for your books (personally, I've never used this before, but I thought I should feature it here);

Pacemaker - Track your goals (example: Write 50K words - then, everytime you write, you track the number of the words, and it will make a graphic for you with your progress). It's FREE but has a paid plan;

Save the Cat! - The blog of the most known storytelling method. You can find posts, sheets, a software (student discount - 70%), and other things;

I hope this is helpful for you!