I don't know What's happening

i really hope you're gonna get out soon by taywrites11 Rated M, 24,969 words

Sochi Olympics, 2014.

"MASSIVE ICLOUD HACK REVEALS PRIVATE PHOTOS, MESSAGES, VIDEOS OF HUNDREDS OF OLYMPIC ATHLETES"

Ilya feels a trickle of unease down his spine. He shakes it off impatiently as he clicks on the article.

Cliff's Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Week (Is Probably Going Better Than Ilya's) by petroltogo Rated T, 30,693 words

It figures that even half-way across the world Ilya's dick manages to ruin Cliff's day. The real surprise is that it isn't the only dick involved in this mess.

Featuring an ill-timed outing, a supportive but clueless team trying its best, panicking over Russia's LGBTQ laws, too many group chats, an unhinged 3am brainstorming session on how to get your captain a new citizenship (asking for a friend) and Roz' inability to answer his fucking phone.

Or: Ilya disappears in Sochi. Half-way across the world his team does its best to help. Their best is more than anyone could have foreseen.

---

and Shane is outed while Ilya is in Russia

something you can fix by some1_around Rated M, 26,824 words

Maybe if the video ended there, Shane thought, it would be okay. Okayish. Still incriminating. Still a fucking disaster. Still embarrassing, to have his breakup with this beautiful actress filmed and disseminated on Reddit of all fucking places, but not a nail in his coffin, burying him alive. But the video didn’t end there.

“Can I ask if you’ve ever been with another guy?” she had to ask.

And he, tears visible in his eyes, had to nod.

Just once. Just a single nod.

Why did he have to nod?

“Have you ever told anyone that before?” He shook his head. “Was it different? With a guy?”

“Of course.”

Of course.

“Was it better?”

“Yes.”

+++

Shane starts getting grays at 35, so by 45 he is a salt-and-pepper kING. It makes for a distinguished photograph on his memoir. He has a ghostwriter, obviously, how do you expect him to just sit and write all day? He writes the chapter about his and Ilya's rivalry though, only at the end of the chapter is he like "And we were married in the summer of 2021 with a honeymoon in Spain. He's the best person I know." after just a dry comparison of all their stats Pre-Centaurs.

One child. Boychild. Shane's genes and a Russian name. Conceived via surrogacy after Ilya retires first due to busted ass knee syndrome. Child enjoys hockey. Not great at it. Looooves playing the oboe in school band. Shane checks it out and AS IT TURNS OUT the oboe is a difficult, competitive instrument. They proceed with characteristic intensity, as if this was athletics. Son, you're gonna win at the oboe.

Ilya needs glasses. He just steals Shane's off his face and it's a whole ritual that ends in them kissing. Boychild is mortified every time they're trying to read a take-out menu.

Shane gets into hockey commentary/podcasting and is notoriously. Um. Not Nice. A lot of "What?? What did I say??" It's never personal though. Just about players' shitty game.

Ilya is Big. Chunky. He's glorious. Muscle that now has fat over it. Arms like tree trunks. Torso: round. 100% Naturalized Canadian Citizen Beef. Hair, everywhere. Shane must BITE to check it all out and make sure everything is in order.

Shane gets really into individual athletics- rock climbing, marathons before he also gets busted ass knee syndrome, biking, swimming, anything where it's like testing the limits of his body against himself. Ilya is like a "fifty push-ups every day keeps me in shape enough to fuck you right" kind of guy, but he joins in sometimes just to make Shane get furious with competition

New rookie/juniors player billeting every year once boychild goes to music conservatory so they build a whole separate wing for the youngsters so it doesn't interfere with empty-nest fucking

Once they hit 50 they do get up stupid early like old men do and have old man coffee shop time with David Hollander (professional boring old man) at their favorite diner. Shane really cherishes this time with his dad and makes it a point to do it as often as they can. Conversely, they build Yuna a mother in law house when David passes away (death comes for us all) and she becomes crazy hockey mom to all their rookies.

extremely endearing to imagine how ilya feels on evenings when shane has taken his contacts out and put on glasses because the air was dry or one was bothering him, and now ilya gets to see a visual representation of being the only person who gets to see Real Shane.

extremely sweet for shane who got bullied for his glasses in school who now has someone who fucking LOVES his glasses. (and loves fucking him IN his glasses who said that).

and am also currently imagining ilya ALSO being delighted to see both of them in their glasses.