Complain't Department

I will be downloading everything I purchased from Bandcamp and keeping an eye on it.

One day a young woman named Margeryne came into our shop and excitedly declared she also enjoyed making food in the shape of a rectangle. Upon hearing this grandpa Jo almost called his lawyer to file a lawsuit, assuming if anyone else found a way to make food in the shape of a rectangle it must be a stolen copy of our one-of-a-kind melt-in-your-mouth butter recipe. But he stopped dead in his tracks when he heard her call this rectangular food a “Loaf.” We stared in awe at her creation for what felt like hours. That’s when I tried bread for the very first time. It was shockingly delicious and wonderfully fluffy.

But, even then, I had never thought about putting butter on top of bread before. In this recipe I will show you how two rectangular foods combine to make something even greater, something that will make you say Mmmmm! like you’ve never said it before.

Ingredients:

- butter

- bread

Directions:

A year has passed, language change has occurred, and it is once again time for a vote. Tonight hundreds of linguists will have to decide if they are the brave soldier who will step up to the mic and explain to their colleagues what gooning means.

See my liveblogs for previous years here and here

• Someone spoke in favor of “reheat nachos” for Creative Word of the Year, providing the example sentence “Lady Gaga reheated Beyoncé’s nachos and they were burnt”

• Someone spoke in favor of “Amphifa”, which is a portmanteau of Amphibians and Antifa, in solidarity with “both pacific northwesterners and frogs”

• I don’t have anything interesting to say on this but what the fuck is a “Fridge Cigarette”?

• REHEATED NACHOS WINS MOST CREATIVE WORD OF THE YEAR

• Surprising nobody, 6-7 has been nominated for Informal Word of the Year

• Someone has given an impassioned speech of “x, I fear” for Informal Word of the Year. It didn’t sway opinion, I fear.

• The next person to speak, gave the disclaimer that they would be “reheating the nachos” of the previous speaker.

• Multiple people have spoken in favor of 6-7, highlighting its “linguistic uniqueness”, its “gestural component”, and the fact that it transcends language.

• A CHILD has come to the mic to argue AGAINST 6-7, to deafening applause. “I could say 1-2. Would that become popular too?”

• Someone else has spoken against 6-7, arguing that it didn’t fit the informal category due to its “limited semantic content and largely pragmatic usages”

• The twin of the first child has come to the mic, arguing in FAVOR of 6-7, saying “the adults have their words, let us have ours!” Again, deafening applause

• Someone has remarked, regarding “Clanker”, that “we’ve invented a slur for a group of people who don’t even exist yet”

• Other nominees for this category are “The Algorithm”, the “Great Meme Reset”, and “-Slop”

• “-Slop” HAS WON DIGITAL WORD OF THE YEAR

• WOTY MVP Nicole Holliday has declared “If y’all vote for 6-7 for overall Word of the Year I stg I’m DONE”

• Oh damn they’re really rushing through Most Useful word of the Year. Nominees are “clock”, “diabolical”, “rage-bait”, “rot”, “valid crashout”, “That’s AI”, and “Recession Indicator”

• “I think chopped will succeed because there will always be someone who *is* chopped [who needs a word to describe them]”

• The term “choppleganger” has been brought up, a portmanteau of “doppleganger” and “chopped”

• Voting has gone into a runoff between “Chopped” and “Vibe Coding”.

• CHOPPED HAS WON MOST LIKELY TO SUCCEED due to technical difficulties

• Someone has nominated “rage-bate” for Overall Word of the Year, saying that the voting software we’re using, which is giving us constant technical difficulties, is “ragebaiting us”.

• Someone has nominated 6-7 for Overall, as it has “brought joy to children all over the world, and who am I to argue against that?”

• “As the only member here of the 6-7 community, I would like to throw my support behind it” - A FULL GROWN ADULT

• The crowd has turned on the voting software, accusing it of being “slop” and “vibe coded”

• “If our tech guy gives us the signal that he’s lost the will to live, we’ll switch to voting by a show of hands”

• “If this isn’t an argument in favor of rage-bait I don’t know what is” - regarding the vote software not working

• We are officially voting by a show of hands

• 17 votes for “The Algorithm”

• 74 votes for “Slop”

• 9 votes for “DOGE (verb)”

• 39 votes for “Reheat Nachos”

• 67 (lol) for “Rage-bait”

• 45 for “6-7”! The MC remarks: “lol 4567”

• We’re doing a runoff between “slop” and “rage-bait”

• The tension is PALPABLE

• “rage-bait” has received 111 votes