Thinking and Stuff

New track out by Chris Cape. My immediate thoughts last night when I heard it for the first time. 'everytime that girl says lawn mower it scares me! But then I laugh. I like it, it sounds like old skool hip hop then goes into a chill vibe like portishead kind of style'

Copyright K. Trice 07 2008

Copyright K.Trice 07.18

Copyright KTrice Mar 2018

I'll never forget when someone made me beans on toast with cheese and my reaction was holy frickin hell! I have been living my life wrong all this time!

So please God, I ask again, please help me, I leave this in your capable hands. I wish nothing but love, I'm tired of all this sadness, please help me so I can finally have my Surprise!

Copyright Kirsty Trice Jan 2018

Today has been pretty weird. Having a clear out. I suppose it cleanses your soul too, finding all these old letters and diary entries. It's so raw. I literally wrote this a few hours after my dad died. It was so surreal. All my family were there. My mum was prescribed an immediate dose of valium and me and my brother were just sort of left to fend for ourselves. It feels like a lifetime has passed. I often wonder how I might be if he had lived. I wonder what he would be like if he had lived. I wonder if we would have a nice house. Would I be better off. Would I be worse off. Would I be singing. Would I have done so many of the shameful things I did. Weird ennit.

A friend of mine posted a photo of a tribute band and it was a cute post, the band just represents all of our 90s childhood. Not only that but this band was hugely important in supporting feminism and represented a saying of our generation, "Girl Power". Fuck. Yeah. It is sadly ironic and has fucked me off no end that some comments written on the photo are just plain low and degrading to women. My friend happens to be in that band and I tagged her saying I love it before some disgusting lowlifes commented on it. Now I'm just horrified and upset that she will see those nasty comments and it will ruin her day and upset her bandmates. The derrogatory comments about them looking "like lady boys" or having "let themselves go"... All posted by a bunch of men... Who I might add may want to take a look at themselves before commenting on the way others look and by their comments have the personalities of misogynist cunts to match. What the fuck gives them any right to post nasty bully comments about someone they don't know, especially knowing they might see it!? That's fucking sick. You sick nasty bastards. If I had posted that photo up and anyone of my friends wrote nasty comments like that.. Yep you guessed it. I'd call that cunt out. Then I'd delete their voice. (and no it's not freedom of speech if it's hate speech so fuck off with that crap, plus, I don't want to listen to hate speech and I don't have to listen to it either, that's freedom of listening) I would silence that negative evil bully and then I'd shame them, then I'd send a personal message telling them they are not welcome anywhere near me or my life again. I fucking hate bullies. Anytime, anywhere. You do not have the right to destroy someone online just because you can't fucking see them or don't know them, in the same way that you have no fucking right to make someone feel shit about the way they look, sound, dress, are in person. Go fuck yourselves you nasty pieces of shit. Choke on your fucking nasty words.

In regards to a twat who filmed himself shooting a pikachu doll...I mean most comments here are just twattish... Guerghh get more range time dude... Yes, actually practice shooting things, so one day you can shoot some people! Dustins comment, in particular is worrying. If pokemon were real - I believe he means real living, breathing, sentient creatures just like any other animal... Then this guy who is shooting it has the right idea... Are you a fucking psycho? Dustin, are you a fucking psycho? Seriously, that's so fucked up. Aw look a wild creature has made it's way into our neighbourhood, hey ma! get the fucking gun! Fucking America. Thick as shit. Stop fucking shooting stuff you dumb fucks. I despair.

I just got called a name so it sparked my thinking. Here's a list of all the things I've been called since I can remember: Pig Ugly Old Hawt Hot body Cougar Cradle snatcher Legs Fit Kilt Cougs Slag Slut Bitch Cunt Darls Darling Love Sweetheart Poppet Babe Bab Baby Sweety Sexy Liar Mental Stupid Thick Clever Smart Cool Gay Lesbian Twat Dickhead Idiot Witchy Big nose Funny Good Scatty Mysterious Selfish Drama queen Angry Angry bird Russel Russel Brand Fanny Fanny Anne Nasty Mean Honest Passive aggressive Hilarious Pretty Gorgeous Rude Spiteful That (yes.That) Brave My girlfriend Kirst Ktrizzle Ktron Kberg Kirstyberger Chris deburgh Uncle Chris Dave Benson Phillips Trice Triz Trish Kirby Kristy Kelly Katy Krissy Tracey A boy Your son That boy That lady That woman That girl Retard Intense Crazy Attention seeker Emo Goth Grunger Lazy Perfectionist Aggressive Comedienne Boss Mam Miss My lovely English girl Gorey ... That's all I can think of.

I pulled this off a comment in a thread related to Jennifer Saunders winning a Glamour award. She said the word cunt. So what. Meh it's just a word. People still get up in arms about words, I get it, and I'm not saying a woman has entitlement over a man to use it, but it's just a word that means vagina/pussy/vaj/twat. Whatevs. So this lady suggested that women have entitlement over the word now and compared it to white men can't use racial slurs or racist terms as endearment, whereas black men can. The man replied that's not equality and no one should have entitlement over the word. Tbf I kind of agree with her, and at the same time kind of think this guy thinks black people aren't entitled to equality because they took the words that white people used to discriminate against them and took entitlement for them creating a means of positively identifying a massive racist douche bag. So why can't women have entitlement to the word that describes a physical part of their body, that has been used as a much bigger insult than any other swear word or word including reference to genitalia? Surely that's just insulting to everyone who has a cunt? Also he said this: I've always found the concept of equality as espoused by radical feminists a farcical proposition in the real world. Let me give you a couple of examples. How many men could lie in a job interview which subsequently secures them the role (over countless women at least as qualified as them) only to have their lie quickly discovered and yet remain free from any disciplinary action for fear of an immediate employment tribunal siting "sexism" ? This is precisely a set of circumstances that came into play when a woman I personally know lied about her pregnancy to gain an executive position and then promptly left on maternity leave leaving her new employer with both a serious problem and no possible chance of redress. Is that what you would call "equality" (insert womans name)? When did you last hear of a man who managed to sue (to my knowledge) 3 consecutive employers in 3 entirely different sectors for constructive dismissal siting "bullying" and "sexual harassment" in every case? That's precisely what another woman I know of has done and will doubtless be plotting her next tribunal as I write this. No man would ever get away with either of these events - and I'm not a misogynist or a woman hater. Employment law is, I hear now seriously considering paid "menstrual leave" allowances.... What would the feminists have to say about it if men were entitled to say a "feeling grumpy" or "watching sport" allowance that women were excluded from? As usual the feminist equality movement don't want true equality - they want special dispensations over and above their male counterparts who on the whole, work longer, contribute more and are less of a liability than a woman employed in the same role. Harsh maybe - but a fact just the same." ------------ Couple of things John... Having a period is not "just feeling grumpy". Read my post further down to get a real insight onto what a period does to a woman...it's like having your insides ripped out, being stabbed up the gouche with a hot poker and not sleeping for 4 nights... But as you'll also read, I don't agree with paid leave for it, if people just understand why I accidentally got red on me and why I'm crying or doubled over for brief intermissions during the day...no seriously I'm not being satirical, just understand it's fucking shit. Being patronising is the best route to belittle someone who doesn't agree with you. If this woman wants to say cunt, guess what John? She can fucking say it, so fuck off. (See my use of John's tactics to get a point across...not sure it worked) Also... What kind of morally debunked women do you fucking know???!! She probably lied about being pregnant so she could support her child on maternity pay cos guess what John the pay subsidised by the government isn't enough, plus she might not even have been entitled to it so yeah what she did was morally wrong on a standpoint of she took advantage of lying...but she did the best thing for her unborn child...so swings and roundabouts. Alternatively she could have been completely unhinged and cray cray cos you know pregnancy hormones!! I know plenty of men who get paid more than female counterparts, who climb the corporate ladder easier, who don't have to balance, work, life, kids, picking the kids up from school (cos the missus still does it obvs) literally. Every woman I've ever worked with has been the one who's had to compromise on her career to get the children to and from school, make them lunch, dinner, etc. I know plenty of devoted fathers. That's not what I'm saying. Maybe women just had enough. Maybe it's a stand? Maybe it's a rebellion. If you know this woman planning her tribunals about sexual harrassment constantly maybe she actually needs to talk to someone? Maybe she's been abused and is completely wrecked about men and their treatment of her? But no don't actually offer a supportive arm to figure out what her issues are, just assume she's a money grabbing manipulator. Ffs John And you say your not a misogynist!?

Fucking Aaaarrrrrrrggggggggghhhhhhhh. British scum. Racist pigs. Xenophobia spreading. Smug Farage git. Cut off the nose despite the face. This is not democracy. This is a turmoil prank. This is fucktards voting for things they don't understand. Revelling in the drama. Cheering the fascists. Shouts send people "back". "Back" where? They are already home. Arsehole, rightwing wankbangles. White supremecy. Thick, lazy, drunk. Bald, tattooed, thugs. Aggressive, cruel, cunts. Wanna know where our tax money goes? In your pocket that you collect in dole. Ignorant bullies. Threats. Since when was it OK to act like this? I hope you get hit by the lie bus. I hope it cuts off your genetic line. I am not British. I renounce my nationality. I'd rather be an alien. Fuck this. The only thing I want to leave now is a place I once called home. Take care now, Bye bye then. I'm gonna live in Brussels where the beer flows like wine and the art sings like music. Btw I don't care for opposing opinions, I've had enough of that shit, I kept my mouth shut all this time and had leave leave leave forced down my Fucking throat. Now just Fucking shut up. I've had enough. This is no forum for discussion.

I must have been rejected about 3 times this week. That's quite a lot of rejection. Urgh. Dunno how much more I can actually take. Can't you see how amazing I am? Well sod it, you'll never know how good you could have had it. I'm the best anyone ever had, that's why they always come back. Trouble is, I really don't want any of them, as they say you shouldn't step in dog shit twice...right? Fml.

You're so far away I don't know you now In my dreams you haunt me Tease me and stay the night In the morning my eyes open You're gone as you always were Your name appears in bizarre places Why are you still here Why do you stick in mind Just leave like I never wanted I suppose you think you're better You have grown I have shrunk My throat clamps a wash of nausea Whenever people speak of you I tried to leave you alone But you made me feel so good Shame for me it was not real I bet you're happy now Enjoying life with someone Who is as grown as you Travel the world with such pretense You're still just a privileged white boy Remember now poo foot I cannot forget anything But oh how I fucking wish I could.

One day I'll have someone to dance with. If all goes to plan, we'll never stop I reckon my chances of this happening might increase if I actually take up dance lessons.