percival

joke i like to make when a baby is crying in public is “we’ve all been there.” We literally have

i should take out an ad in the newspaper

You should automatically get time off work until the light returns to your eyes and you feel like a real person again

has anyone noticed that sometimes you take incorrect or undesirable actions instead of the correct and desirable ones? what's up with that

hate hearing about a kink and thinking "oh hell yeah" only to look it up and find that the way everyone does it is corny and lame as fuck

what if we just pretended to be tender with each other. as a bit

seeing rain after not seeing it for a while IS in fact better than sex and I will forever stand by that

BTW, the belief that you have to leave where you are and go somewhere in order to connect with nature is part of the problem. You can literally connect with nature anywhere; yes, even in an urban environment. You have birds, bugs, plants, weather, seasons, etc. A lot of people need to stop thinking of nature as something out there and start recognizing that it's something that's already right here.

I got a job at a gas station across from a casino and a guy keeps coming in to buy whole cartons of cigarettes and talks in the third person calling himself "snake eyes pete" and every time I tell him his total hes like "tell ya what if old Pete rolls a snake eyes why dont you give it to him for free?" and he rolls the same set of loaded dice on the counter and it does not matter how many times he rolls snake eyes I will not give him the cartons for free he gets so mad

thinking abt how no one involved in the us military apparatus literally ever faces any repercussions for any action ever will really just drive you insane