you are the stars

scientists believe the best deterrant to an alien invasion is to geoform the continents so the whole planet looks like a badass fuckin skull. with mad fuckin horns. and volcanos where the eye sockets are so it looks like the eyes are red. scientists believe most aliens would take one look at earth and fuck off back to whatever loopy fuckin planet they came from

the appeal of spike is that he is simultaneously an annoying ass leather wearing bad boy vampire and the most sopping wet lover boy loser failure this world has ever seen

can’t eat green vegetables and can’t go outside for fresh air i always knew i wanted to live like a mistreated studio apartment dog

i wish my brain were not full of gludge. i would like to be using it & because of the gludge i cannot do that.

*sits up in bed, stretches, yawns* it’s another beautiful, glorious day full of opportunity a- *ominous bell toll and i am instantly replaced with a 10,000-year-old mummy sitting in the exact same pose*

if eating three balanced meals a day at regular times makes you gain weight then maybe you were meant to gain weight

kitten fever is worse than baby fever because a kitten is way easier to obtain than a baby so it's more dangerous

reblog this to put a leaf on your mutuals head

it’s nothing that 100 house centipedes can’t fix

not ignoring you not replying to you but a secret third thing

forgor

how the hell do i talk to people

Stand in front of them and press A

they’re publicly executing me tomorrow for desiring a little attention

You have to be anti-war to care about climate change, and you have to hate the USA to be anti-war.

everybody say i love you black trans women