I hc that Ilya does miss pussy sometimes but 1) not enough that it’s remotely an issue and 2) he will Never Say this to Shane.
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@pentagrampanda
I hc that Ilya does miss pussy sometimes but 1) not enough that it’s remotely an issue and 2) he will Never Say this to Shane.

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Ilya Rozanov and Swkwisgaar Swigelf are the same character to me
-bisexual
-in love with their coworker
-the absolute best at what they do
-immigrant
-bad parents/absent dads
-slut
-closeted due to high profile and reputation to uphold
-smarter than people think they are due to language barrier
-can't publicly love their person due to concerns about "group dynamics" and coming out would also put their partner under scrutiny
-very very depressed
-in love with rival? Unsure how much Skwisgaar and Toki are actually rivals being in the same band and all, but they are still very competitive like Hollanov and Toki even wrote that book so I'm going to count it
-richy rich
-Sex Gods™
dedicated team effort
This scene is so special to me. It's only their second time hooking up. Not so much time has passed that they're overthinking and crushed by the weight of the world's expectations. Here they're just boys, experimenting (IKNOWIKNOW). They're having fun. They know nothing except they like kissing and touching each other. They don't know what that means yet. They don't know that they love each other yet. They don't know what the future holds. They're not holding back something yet. They're truly just enjoying each other in this moment without a thought about the outside world.
You know, until they stop for a second and the world comes crashing in and the weight of what they're doing becomes real
Give me Shane awkwardly trying "queer culture" things that Ilya and Harris try to introduce him to and hating it.
Give me Shane "hates clubbing and bars" Hollander not minding Kingfisher in the afternoon but refusing to go at night. Give me Shane never understanding the slang (he's never online) and being overstimulated by drag brunch (it's so LOUD and nothing fits his diet even once he loosens it a little and brunch as a concept throws off his entire routine) and utterly bored by any TV show that isn't the latest game replay (is this reality TV? Is it a drama? He can't remember and he can't tell the difference but honestly he'd rather be watching hockey) and unable to remember the difference between Lady Gaga and Cher (he never listens to music anyway) and completely disinterested in changing his wardrobe (for fancy events he wears whatever his stylist tells him to but not anything adventurous, because he just wants to look acceptable not make a statement).
Give me Shane feeling alienated from gay culture the way he sometimes feels alienated from Japanese culture and being so frustrated that being himself, exactly as he is, still isn't good enough for anyone.
Give me a Shane Hollander who doesn't want to be "the gay hockey player" the same way he doesn't want to be "the Asian hockey player" but he'll suck it up because he's such an inspiration, don't you know how many kids look up to you? Don't you know how much it matters to them to see you out there loud and proud?
Give me Shane finally snapping at Ilya that clearly he's not "super gay" if he's so bad at it, because he's sick and tired of everyone being disappointed that he's not up on whatever the latest queer culture trend is and he does not want to be a "gay icon," he just wants to play hockey and love his husband, and he's not magically a different person now that everyone knows he's gay.
Give me Ilya reckoning with how coming out has only put more expectations on Shane's shoulders and noticing the roles Shane is always forced into - the Asian player, the gay player - and understanding a bit more why privacy seemed like a better guarantee of freedom to Shane than openness.
Give me Ilya promising Shane that he loves him exactly as he is, jocky and offline and dedicated to hockey, that he never has to change anything about himself to seem more palatable to anyone, and fuck anyone who thinks Shane isn't *anything* enough, because he's always been perfect for Ilya.
Shane Hollander I love and relate to you so much
STOP no more live-action remakes. We're going the other way now. Animated Casablanca. Animated The Godfather. Animated Oppenheimer. Animated Fight Club.

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We really do need to bring back the word "trolling" and warning ppl not to feed the trolls
That TikTok of ppl pouring tomato sauce directly on the counter, adding spaghetti & mixing it with their hands while commenting how great of an idea it is? Yeah, we used to call that trolling, it's pathetic & bc all they want from it is attention, the best thing is not to give them any. Block & move on.
I keep seeing it on here too. Someone comments something outrageous on a post & gets dozens of ppl to respond, filling the entire comment section & making it unusable. And on Instagram, a comment saying "I hate colors" on a post of someone showing off colorful art gets 100 replies while positive comments get none. Congrats, you've fed the troll. Now stop doing it.
Trolling used to get you banned from forums. Now they call you an influencer and give you brand deals & ad revenue. That's why it's more important than ever not to feed the trolls, especially in spaces where any attention is good attention and getting yelled at by 10k ppl in the comments counts as "engagement", boosting your troll post in the algorithm.
Does anybody else remember when shitposting became brainrot
well mtl tumblr already knows but friendly reminder in how jari could be a gr8 inspo for skwisgaar skwigelf (even in voice)
Bonus: even for skwistok
does it still count as a joke if you spend 30 minutes making it?
⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡
(Click on the images for better quality)
Skwisgaar + Northern lights
**Gotta love Skwisgaar...
(I'm proud of my artwork for the first time in years... hahaha I'm trying to improve my digital art...)
How do you feel about Americans?
Americans have one of the highest obesity rates in the world, yet they hold the most Olympic medals. They have a horrible education system, yet eclipse the rest of the world in scientific research. The country is filled with clueless philistines, yet their culture permeates every society, in some way, across the planet. The country is still less than three centuries old, but has spent most of it at war. They are universally hated or feared by nearly every other country on the planet, yet the first to offer help during a disaster. Their people are stubborn and never content with the way things are, and for better or worse, all of them imagine how things could be better. Every American is a bankrupt billionaire, a prince in exile, a grounded astronaut, a disgraced scientist. There are the people who do not settle for who they are, but for what they may become.
The country has her problems. Certainly their government has a lot of blood on its hands. But there is something charming about the people I can’t quite place. Even the delusional leftists or the out of touch neocons. There is a certain magic about the place that you don’t find elsewhere. There are bad parts and bad people, to be sure, but there are just as many good parts and good people. It is a land of extremes. But even the poor aren’t really that poor. Much better to be a homeless American living on the beach than literally freezing to death at a metro station in Moscow.
Sure, Yanks say some stupid things. Sometimes they do stupid things like arm terrorist groups they later go to war with. But sometimes they also say profound things. Sometimes they do profound things like planting their flag, in person, on the moon. I can’t stay mad at them and I can’t help but love them.
Bless u
Nerd.
That was profoundly said
I love this
America is a melting pot of everyone else. We are everything.
I’m literally getting emotional because I can’t remember the last time I saw something this kind about Americans on my dash
Same. As a British ex-pat who has lived in the US for the past 25 years, I find myself with double-vision. Through one lens I can be terribly critical of my adopted country. Through the other I feel the greatest pride and affection. Thanks so much to OP for putting it to words.

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Picrew tag game!
tagging: @takemepedropascal @inpraiseofbacchus @cyancherub @duckymcdoorknob
Thanks @speedmetalqueen for the tag!
I'm eating chips!!!
I tag @bbqcute , @simminglytimeladies , and @pentagrampanda
I don't know who to tag but I had a lot of fun doing this ☺️
Hot Take: Black metal is just self-insert Lord of The Rings fanfiction
I want the squirrels from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory to judge my fate in the afterlife
oh gods oh fucks nononononoes
Lets it go! Lets it go! Can’ts holds it backs anymores!

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being gay is just like. damn it tattoos are expensive. damn it piercings are expensive. damn it getting your hair dyed professionally is expensive. damn it combat boots are expensive. damn it therapy is
i tried to be funny and it backfired miserably
it’s 2014 it’s time we moved on as a nation and stop reblogging this
every person who reblogs this in 2015 is gonna get their ass kicked by yours truly
It’s 2019. This is alive