Yikes

I'll do it for you, creamy

when your battery is at 41% so you feel mildly comfortable but also a little antsy

why does michael cera always get the girl why cant i get the girl its my turn michael

reblog the Don Draper of getting a job he’s unqualified for and you’ll have 10 years of getting jobs you’re unqualified for

YES

Confidence Helps

Because its marge and this kinda magick works 👉💥💥💥💥💥💰

my favorite thing to do in this christian society is to pretend that i don’t know a SINGLE thing abt christianity. like sometimes people will mention things like going to church with their families or upcoming holidays & i’ll act utterly clueless abt all of it even though i know absolutely everything ever just bc it’s funny to see people fumble to justify + tell me abt things. if i constantly have to explain my religion and practices to ignorant people, y’all are gonna have to do the exact same thing

like one time i asked this girl what christmas was with my blankest possible expression & she looked at me incredulously & slowly said “it’s jesus’s birthday…” and i was like oh that’s cool! who’s jesus? :-) & she froze for a good fifteen seconds. i think i gave her brain damage it was great

Her and Yoko Taro are legends at hiding from cameras. xD 

It’s always “sup” and never “Howl ! Calcifer ! It’s me, Sophie! I know how to help you now! Find me in the future!”

It’s always “u up?” And never “There you are sweetheart! Sorry I’m late, I’ve been looking for you everywhere :)”

mcdonalds gave me the boys toy in my happy meal and ive been transgender ever since