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Get em while they're cold, get em while they're sharp!

Their website is currently down from the sheer amount of traffic hitting it and Greg has said after they catch up with the online orders he's going to rest up for a bit before they get things back online, but for anyone outside of Twin Cities who wants to have a browse, their ABE books and Ebay where they post rare/collector items are still up.

https://www.abebooks.com/DreamHaven-Books-Minneapolis-MN-U.S.A/452261/sf

Greg has willingly given interviews and been loudly active in the local community. He is one of many people making the choice to do so to expose the levels of cruelty and inhumanity taking place, this is not the same as taking pictures of non-consenting protestors—but thank you for being worried about him.

Please know Greg and other booksellers in the area who have becomes hubs of local activity and resistance are being looked after by the community. They are making themselves visible so people have rallying points.

Also, did you know if you shop through Bookshop.org you can choose which independent book seller to buy from, directly increasing their visibility and sales? And that bookshop.org gives a large portion of their profit to supporting independent book sellers across the country?

happy, happy tears 🥹

For the past weeks, I've seen many Russian people talking about how strongly they resonate with Ilya's character. "I relate so much, I felt this deep in my soul, how the hell did they represent us so well, he's one of us, I'm triggered". Even people who never watch BLs or not interested in hockey, they all talk about HR online. Even I, who loves watching BLs all over the world but prefer the ones that add social message/character exploration focused, would dismiss HR if it was only about high-rated smut scenes. Like good job, we need this kind of stories but they're not what I personally prefer.

BUT NO. It's about painfully relatable experience. I'm scared to watched the new episode because it will force me to face my own life, situation and the doom hell my country is currently falling in with the speed of light. And many other Russians said they literally cried in the past couple of episodes.

So many queer people had to flee Russia in the past years, especially now (few years after HR timeline) when LGBTA+ were officially announced illеgal, ехtrеmists and tеrrоrists, with people fined and jailed for a simple makeup or a slightly gay fanart they posted 10 years ago. They still fear and overthink every single thing they say and do even in other country, whenever encountering queer events or trying to date someone. Seeing openly gay hockey couple kissing on the match screen? Oh that's probably only a partially exciting moment for Ilya.

I went back to closet even when I could have built my new, more free identity in another country, I still enter fight-or-flight mode when buying BL books even if they're written in different language and no cop will grab me for looking at the books in a library corner or when I watch queer show in perfectly legal and promoted cinema screening, I don't speak about queer culture and series in my own language, I'm still censoring myself and cursing myself out at the same time for being so stupid and affected by fear – and knowing that if I get more bold and free, shit can still unexpectedly hit the fan and my family back in Russia can get hurt.

This is another thing that hits Russian speaking fans - Ilya's relationship with his dad, brother and the funeral. I was lucky to not have abusive parents but there's always a fucked up past and traumas in CIS childhood. No matter how many traumas you have and how much you try to escape and live your happy life, you'll always face the relatives, you'll always love them despite it all, you will always hurt when they're alive and grieve when they're gone. And if you choose to be yourself and to find love and happiness on your own, you can not go back home.

My mom told me just last week: "Don't go back to Russia. Even if I die, don't you dare to come to my funeral". I also have to awkwardly joke whenever my sister or dad ask me whether I miss them already and when do I plan to visit them, and I miss my friends so much even when I make new ones here. I push down my thoughts that keep coming up about what I should do and how I will feel if I one of them dies, and I'm 4000km away without having made any close happy memories in the past few years.

I have never come out to my family, yet this is something that still hurts if you're just a young adult who had to immigrate from Russia to other country. I've seen other fans saying they were triggered by the "silly gay show" because they got reminded of their fear that they cannot be with their family in their hardships. We are literally risking our life, not even just a social rejection. Fucking Ilya Rosanov.

Connor managed to show Ilya's struggles and traumas so beautifully and so raw, so truthfully. The emotions in his Russian monologue, the exhaustion and double-edged sword in the shape of his situation (queerness and family) was too real, as if he's not an actor but he has those cold and brutal years of growing up in Russia for real. His exasperated broken "чёрт" ('damn', translated as 'fuck me' in subs) after finally sharing his inner turmoil made me shed tears. And of course, the love confession that sounds much more raw in your own language that forces you to face the reality and your emotion.

To be honest, many Russian viewers were genuinely confused with Shane's hesitation about publicly coming out because he will not face even 1/3 of the amount of much more horrible consequences as they would (or Ilya would) :D (jk, everyone's fears are valid)

As another joke, somebody commented that they are not surprised at all that canadian autistic guy was still better in processing and talking about his emotions that neurotypical russian guy lmao

Anyway, HR is not only about sex and public coming out, it's also about queer people who left their homeland (forced or happened to) but still have cursedly tight ties to it, who dance painfully with 'crime' and 'family loss' in their embrace.

TW: discussions of homophobia and homophobia-related violence, both in real life and in the HR universe. general discussions of bigotry and systemic issues plaguing the hockey world.

i have so many thoughts about the last scene of episode 5 today and it could be because i’m back in the closet or it could be because of how phenomenally done the scene was, but the look of genuine shock on Shane and Ilya’s face is absolutely killing me.

in their world, and, also, in this world, the idea of being out and visible is fucking impossible to fathom. especially at the most visible evening of the year for hockey with the Cup. The notion that Ilya Rozanov and Shane Hollander, up until that moment, could ever do what Kip and Scott did was out of the question. and not just out of the question because of the logistics or the backlash, but because no one had done it. no one had ever done something that significant.

in the context of the show, gay marriage in the States was only legalized two years prior. TWO. and even with the ruling of Obergfell v Hodges, there was almost immediate intense backlash. the idea that any major celebrity could and openly would come out was almost closer to fantasy than reality. especially in hockey which is, again, an incredibly homophobic and conservative sport.

to shane, where at least in his home country gay marriage was legalized in 2005, this idea of being out, publicly, wasn’t impossible but rather highly improbable. considering if he had a husband, that husband would never be able to come see him play in the states as a lover, the notion was improbable.

to ilya, the idea of being open, ever, was impossible. to give context, in 2017, russian opposition was exposing the purging of lgbtq+ individuals in chechnya. i will spare details, but these purges were brutal and overt. the journalists who blew the whistle have gone into hiding. with the passing of his father, and the dissolution with his brother, there still wouldn’t be resolution. he wouldn’t be able to visit svetlana, nor his extended family, nor his childhood home, nor his niece. if he did return, he would either be a pariah or likely killed. to ilya, this idea of being open about himself, even with the more “progressive” laws of the states, seemed impossible. he’d have to be breaking the ice, and he was in no position to do so.

so, when Scott Hunter starts calling down Kip, you can see it in their eyes. especially compared to shane’s mother and father, and to svetlana. to those besides shane and ilya, the look was far more questioning. and at first, with our star-crossed rivals, it was too. but then, once you see who it is, the look of hope starts to twinkle. as kip and scott get closer, standing body to body on the ice, closer than just talking distance, that twinkle burns brighter. the eyes go from confused to anticipatory, as if waiting with baited breath, as if it was one of them.

and when scott and kip’s lips lock, the shock on their faces is just so beautiful it made me cry. it’s a look i’ve seen many times, a look of actual hope, as if the hail mary was caught. this is not just any hockey player, but one of shane’s (and probably ilya’s) role models. this is someone they’ve been watching since the juniors, since their questioning likely began. someone who inspired their passions. someone who became a source of admiration. and that person, an icon in the sport, was opening doors for them. was doing something no one had done before and, unknowingly, leading the way. being a source of strength in a time of insecurity and newness.

i know this may seem dramatic, but to me, this scene means fucking everything. it means everything to me. i know that look of hope, and i know why that phone call from ilya was instantaneous. because in just a second, what was once impossible became possible. and not just possible, but probable, and real, and tangible. it became something they could imagine as a reality, could watch the aftermath, could plan.

it’s so beautiful. i’m so glad the show deals with these issues so beautifully. it made me cry this morning. it even gave me a little hope, too, so thank you to this show for being so beautiful.

but they do NOT introduce Verlaine, a character who has never even been MENTIONED in the main manga