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Oh! The intimacy of adopting each other’s vocabulary.

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the-muppet-joker

They found me in the Forest

Before I tasted Fear

My father was my Mother

My mother was a Deer

Her legs were sharp and Angled

Her teeth were long and Red

She raised me as a Hunter

To shoot her in the Head

She hates me for my Softness

She snarls at my Fur

My mother's always Taunting

That I'm half a Man as her

I feel her track my Movements

Through the crosshairs of her Gun

I should be my Father's Daughter

But I'm My Mother's Son

the-muppet-joker

More like Kermit the SLUT put some CLOTHES on you saucy little PERVERT

batmanisagatewaydrug

anti abortion propaganda that tries to like scare you into feeling guilty by reminding you that the fetus has body parts are so funny. "uwu please don't abort me I have eyes at 4 weeks old 🥺" nice try sucker I don't care if you see it coming

shithowdy

today i took the worst photo of a loon one can possibly take while remaining identifiably a loon

shithowdy

loon :)

shithowdy

i painted my loon :)

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i-fuck-audis

MY FUCKING CAR

systlin

Getting down on my knees and thanking the humans who invented dishwashers and washing machines.

ihonestlydontknowwhattocallthis

InsNe that dishwashers are more efficient and easier than just washing them manually but they also use less water. It’s a win win situation

systlin

They ALSO sterilize dishes, due to operating at a far higher temperature than human hands could ever tolerate. It's a win every way.

systlin

Made this post about 15 minutes after the repair guy who fixed the pump on my dishwasher packed up his tools and left, as the dishwasher was whirring along doing my dishes from that morning.

He said the exact same thing, which I did not know before that, so spreading this knowledge.

hiveswap

Not now, kitten, m- da- m- your parental figure is in the middle of a gender crisis

maja-paja

eptck

you have to be kinder to people with memory issues.

you have to be kinder to people who are slow processors.

you have to be kinder to people who don't understand your jokes.

you have to be kinder to people who forget important dates.

you have to be kinder to people with cognitive decline.

you have to be kinder to people who were always this way, too.

you have to be kind. you have to be kind.

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innerchildabortionclinic

interesting kink assortment on the dash

tiktoksthataregood-ish

salamandorange

The most PATHETIC lil baby sounds...

whitebear-ofthe-watertribe

I love when little creatures who are entirely loved and well cared for have the BIGGEST baby reactions to normal things. Like yes sweet pea, you DO have the hardest life of anyone ever, for sure, and you’re SO BRAVE about this minor inconvenience of *checks notes* having some water touch you

cephalon-sancti

There is nothing sadder and more pathetic than a baby marine mammal having to get into the water. They are suffering the most out of any baby animal ever. How dare they be introduced to their natural environment.

that-house

partially-managed mental illness is so fucking funny i'll be sitting around doing my job and suddenly think "wow i hate myself" and immediately get confused because, like, that's not TRUE! i love myself so much. who are you to talk to me like that

oneheadtoanother

the-muppet-joker

They raised me in the Circus

Before I was a Noun

My mother was my Father

My father was a Clown

He wore a pretty Costume

And danced in purple Smoke

My father was my Mother

But only as a Joke

He taught me Shattered Mirrors

And Painting Your Grotesque

And how to Laughing With Them

At Aching In Your Chest

I cannot be a person

Just Schadenfreude Fodder

I long to be my mother's son

But I'm my Father's Daughter

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming

pmamtraveller

The Pearl With The Girl Earring by Olaf Falafel

lazer-exe

I'm gonna say it, I do think that even the laziest person imaginable should have a roof over their head, food in their stomach, and access to healthcare

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