BAVABAHAHHWH

12:00 - 3:00: 👍

3:00 - 5:00: the realization that you have to stay up now or you will suffer the next day + battling off sleeping like the damn plague

“real”

”sorry I spaced out, what’d you say?”

laughing uncontrollably and then saying “sorry, inside joke. you wouldn’t get it”

start crying

play the sad hamster video

”girl what” (extra points if ur talking to a cis man)

”…are you on your period” (also works best specifically with cis men. Could also do to transfem person. Might be gender affirming)

deep contemplative stare, followed by “are you happy with yourself” or “is something going on at home?”

trying not to laugh while they’re yelling (speed face type situation)

reach up and place your hand on their forehead (presumably to take temp) and then turn away whilst muttering to yourself

”ouuhh, you want to kiss me so bad” (a classic, extra points if they actually do want to kiss you)

play the Paimon yapping audio

manipulate the situation into making them act like a tsundere (advanced tactic)

opening your phone and scrolling whilst saying “mhmm.” And “yeah I hear you” and stuff like that. (Kind of obvious if you don’t know how to be subtle about it. Requires the right scenario)

openjng your phone and NOT being subtle that you’re texting someone. Then when they call you out, respond with “sorry my mom’s in the hospital. I’m trying to figure out the details.”

Copy everything they say under your breath, whilst looking very confused, and then saying “sorry what are you talking about”

”aww, thank you!”

tie it into a topic you have a lot of interest in and then start yapping without letting them continue

”bruh moment”

“ur mom” (specifically in a situation where it makes no fucking sense)

stare at them blankly while they yap, and then say, “sorry, do I know you?”

“uhm. I g-got you this.” Fake cry if you can, hand them something that can be disguised as an intentional gift

”are we about to kiss rn”

“…are you breaking up with me?” (Specifically if ur not dating)

hit them over the head with a baseball bat

make exaggerated shocked expressions the whole time they’re talking

agreeing with everything they’re saying without like giving any context or indication that ur gonna try to fix it and then walking away

”so no head?”

”the only thing I like about you is your taste in shoes”

“I feel like this is a conversation you should be having with a therapist”

*lip bite*