It Is What It Is

Op I want you to know that “I don’t drink enough milk to be that confident in my bones” is now something I will say at every opportunity

about to quit my job and pursue my true passion in life….picking at my skin

me, learning things about myself: oh this is bad

i know this will make me sound old and boring but once i’m home for the night i’m home. i don’t like upsetting my plans even when i don’t have any. yes it’s only 8pm but i spent the whole evening believing i’m not going anywhere, i cannot perceive or be perceived right now, try again later

lets start using makeup and clothes to look worse

we’re really feeling this today. glad i dont hve to explain

Dermatologists HATE her! Scientists FEAR her! Hardened soldiers TREMBLE under her gaze! God DID NOT CREATE HER and she WILL TEAR THROUGH REALITY’S FABRIC!

....Jolene.

Jurassic Park except they provide proper enrichment for the animals and they therefor don’t feel the need to hunt slow, small humans.

“We stuffed this pumpkin full of live goats for the T. rex watch him try to get them out with his little fingers.”

“Turns out the raptors are cage breakers, so we’ve gotten them a series of door handles to manipulate. Little guys just love it.”

"The Rexes are incredibly affectionate pack animals, so we were careful to breed multiples. Be sure to come during spring time to watch them go broody over anything even vaguely egg-shaped." "We put the Raptors through target training and now if they are bored, hungry, or just want a scratch under the chin they go to spot near the bars and ring a little bell for attention." "Imprinting after hatching was so common that we now have keepers under contract to care for the animals well into adulthood to prevent them from pining." "The Gallimimus turned out to be just giant Canada Geese, and so fear nothing. Their keeper regularly has to stop them from trying to attack fences, guests, feeding buckets, and the now traumatised pack of Ceratosaurs in the next paddock."

"We also fired Dr. Henry Wu."

I have questions for OP either about how big they think a pumpkin is or about how small they think goats are.

In a fictional genetic theme park, we play by Roger Rabbit rules. They’re however large they need to be to make my joke work.

I respect that. Question withdrawn.

being in your 20s is just going to the store

its also about feeling very sad. at the store

they should release a new natural hair color 

there’s no shame in admitting that none of us have any concept of how big a whale is

can we all agree that being overdressed is a myth made up by boring stuffy people who are too worried about other people’s lives and don’t want you to have fun

conversely, can we all agree that being underdressed is a myth made up by stuffy classist people who are too worried about other people’s lives and don’t want you to be comfortable or happy

holy shit

apples to apples dust to dust