Patb0t

tags by @ultramarineblues: #deeply curious about how this person discovered the cat liked this game

the prince has begun practicing curtseying in the mirror. which could mean nothing.

we have good news and bad news, my liege. the good news is that we now know what that curtsying was about: you will be pleased to know that, after several heartfelt conversations between your child, the court jesters and a myriad of singing woodland creatures, you are now the parent of a proud and joyful new princess. the bad news is that, due to a series of events related to the dragon-sized hole in her bedchamber wall,

pretty sure you’re literally the only person who understood my vision on this accursed post

I always wanted to be the guard that tells only lies

I mean I've actually never wanted to be that.

Stupid stupid stupid. C'mon. At this rate I'll never be a lie guard.

Puppy can arrive in all sort of styles

JFK Theory: when everyone blinked because of the loud gunshot, that's when the swordsman made his move

Going outside with wet hair from showering is humiliating because everyone sees you and thinks stuff like "eww gross here comes the wet girl". But going outside with wet hair when it's raining? Unambiguous boon because now everyone is thinking stuff like "wow, she's so topical" and "her hair is a scathing critique of the times we live in"