my maladaptive daydreams are better than reality

the best way i can think to describe the experience of reading moby dick is you’re in line at the dmv and this guy behind you very loudly says “well who HASN’T had a gay experience” and then proceeds to tell you every detail about his life in between anecdotes about how great sperm is and how ropes work and sometimes he’ll say the most poetic shit you’ve ever heard in your life and them jump RIGHT back into explaining how a whale is a fish because 1) it swims in water and you’re still only like halfway through the dmv line

"lock in" is probably one of the most important phrases to enter the public lexicon in the 2020s

"what if someone regrets transitioning" if you are 18 or over in free country usa you can walk into any tattoo parlor and ask for a tattoo that will be on your body forever and ever and ever and they will give it to you with the understanding that if you dont like the result or you regret it later that's your fucking problem and not theirs

numbah one rule of headaches is keep looking at that screen and turn the brightness alllllllllll the way up… and a little electronic music couldn’t hurt.. if that’s your style

how to escape the terrible fatigue guide

escape the terrible fatigue walkthrough no commentary

yesterday I got the "are you a boy or are you a girl" question from a six-year-old, and I told her that some people aren't boys or girls (like me!) I was expecting her to be a little confused, but she nodded thoughtfully and said, "wow, just like snails."

Anyone else remember having their parents try to teach you Emotional Regulation Skills way too early and only understanding in hindsight how fucking nuts it is to try to do what they were doing to a kid. Like having your mom tell you "you're the only one who's in charge of your feelings :) nobody can MAKE you feel bad unless you let them :)" but at the same time you'd get scolded for making someone else feel bad by being rude or acting out, so in practice you're both in charge of your own feelings but also everyone else's feelings, and that didn't feel fair, but you had no idea how to put that into words because you're five.

it only occurred to me years later, but if "you control your emotions" and "you choose how to feel" then every time my parents got angry at me it was because they chose to be angry, which doesnt seem like the kind of thing you want to be teaching your kid

The "I put food on the table and a roof over your head what more could you possibly want" type of parents are always so shocked that their kids never come back again once they find anywhere else that they can get food and a roof under better terms and conditions.

Remove the hitbox render from my son at once he will not be participating in your fighting game, you bastards

Ma’am your son just hit me with a meaty divekick crossup

It is so weird the snobbish asshole-ish classist way people talk about poor people with pets, especially if the owner is generally a good owner and actively trying to get the pet help. I highly doubt that when that person found a kitten in a storm drain 6 years ago, they knew that it would randomly need a $5,000 emergency urinary tract blockage surgery 6 years later. ‘You should’ve have gotten a pet if you can’t afford it.’ applies to some situations but cats and dogs live 10+ years and a lot can happen in their owner’s financial situation in that time. They already feel tremendous guilt and they’re worrying about their best friend dying, being an asshole actually does not help the pet or the owner.

''when did we all become so performative'' idk man when the threat of being recorded at any time and posted for milions to see without your knowledge became normalised.

if you're yuna though. your son is gay and has been hiding a 10 year situationship from you, and he's in love with his rival, and then he is having a panic attack and the guy you knew as the big russian anger machine pulls him off the ledge in two seconds and THAT is when they confirm they are boyfriends. all in front of your pasta.