basker!!

Reading a pornographic story on your phone quietly and feeling vaguely aroused: idgaf

Thinking about stuff that makes you feel aroused: how tf would I know unless you tell me? I don't care but I don't want to hear about it

Seeing your fetish in the wild and getting a bit squirmy and turned on: again I'm not going to know unless you tell me. I don't care! Just text your friend about it like the rest of us

As long as you aren't irritating me I don't give a shit what you're doing or thinking about or how aroused you are

Just don't like, masturbate or watch porn videos on the bus where people can see and hear it. And my objection to that is not that it's horny it's that it's objectively rude

I would also get annoyed at someone picking their nose and flicking the boogies about or playing non porn videos loudly on the bus

Bang up the elephant - being perfect, complete, or done properly

Cop a mouse - get a black eye

Damned good swine up - loud argument

Doing the bear - hugging

Raked fore and aft - hopelessly in love

Orf chump - no appetite

Parish pick axe - especially prominent nose

Chuckaboo - term of endearment for a close friend

Cut a finger - fart

Arf' arf' an' arf - embarrassingly intoxicated

Nose bagger - person who brings their own food or drinks to a tourist area and doesn't contribute to the local economy

Cheese and crust - Jesus Christ

Fifteen puzzle - state of absolute confusion

Basket of oranges - pretty woman

Evening wheezes - fake news

Kruger-spoof - call out for being a liar

Mafficking - get rowdy in the streets

Doing the blanket hornpipe - get rowdy in the sheets

Skilamalink - shady

Meater - coward