Loren

hate it when pets learn words, my dog flips out when he hears "greenie" so we had to start saying "G word" but now he knows G word so we have to say shit like "are we out of emerald indulgences"

Then you’re doing a fantastic job at it.

oh you wanted chocolate atop your boston cream donut? too bad. that chocolate is for the paper bag you stupud bitch

being on the internet

Check your voters registration REGULARLY. People are finding that they're registered one week, and then vanished the next. KEEP CHECKING, REPEATEDLY, TO MAKE SURE YOURE STILL GOOD TO GO. AND THEN VOTE YOUR ASSES OFF.

Happy voter registration day! GO DO THE THING.

it’s the way spongegar and patar were so fucking hungry for it, drooling everywhere just going fucking nuts for these things

idk about you but i’m a sucker for the we just had sex and it’s the morning after and i woke up to an empty bed and how could i be so stupid of course you left me alone but wait you’re in my kitchen cooking me breakfast and i’m so relieved trope

Bastille was right. How am I gonna be an optimist about this. Also right about eh eho eho.