PARSNIP-PROBLEMS

Am i cooked if she says "Your tears are the most delicious dessert in the universe" ? That does mean she is gonna make me cry even more right?

i hate the word spicy can we bring back calling things erotic

rolling up to Wendy's to get an erotic chicken sandwich

“scientists don’t want you know” is a phrase that always cracks me up because if you actually meet a scientist they will be shaking and crying like an overstimulated chihuahua with the need to let you know

I wanna eat you as if you are the most delicious thing in this universe.

Shirt that says REJECTING ONE INCORRECTLY BLACK AND WHITE VIEW OF HISTORY FOR ANOTHER IS NOT PROGRESS

booty shorts that say THE PROBLEM IS YOUR WHOLE PARADIGM, NOT THE ANGLE FROM WHICH YOU VIEW IT

I can tell my evil advisor has been feeling down lately so I've been pretending to take big sips from his cursed chalice and then roaming the palace grounds groaning and clutching my abdomen. Lowkey I know it's deceptive but I can tell it's really cheering him up. I heard him evilly cackle for the first time in weeks. WIBTA if I keep doing this

time to get a delicious tea drink from my favorite crone, boba yaga

then I will go to an exercise class led by my favorite instructor, baba yoga

how could i ever leave tumblr

My dick has flames painted on the side and all the men love it