Sam

basketball players fight over the basketball because they are hypnotized before each game to believe it is their egg

i think i'd be checking my phone in the cuck chair to be honest

ragebaiting lemonade stand owner with one simple order

parents around the globe are listening to some shit loud as fuck on the Tv

if my girlfriend was talking enthusastically about an interest that we did not share, i would simply listen with excited interest.  rip to straight men but im different

i would like to officially thank sesame for its seeds, its oil, and of course its street

Realistically I know “let’s all kill ourselves” is just as bad or maybe worse than “im going to kill myself” but in my head it’s like. ok but im establishing a sense of community and proposing a group activity? like are we really going to get mad about that

getting reblogged by a user with a huge following is so embarassing like,, your blog is so much b-bigger than mine... uwahh o///o so m-many notes! you didnt even use any t-tags...! My tiny little blog can't take it...! >///< o-oh waow...

ever since I was a little girl I knew I wanted to be into shit no one cares about

stop being hard on yourself and start blaming everything on someone you don’t like