paranozia.

BPD.

It's scary to think about, hard to realise, and daunting to truly acknowledge. After many years of struggle, to finally know that there is something wrong with you. And all those years you spent trying to get someone to notice or help, or the doctors to acknowledge you, you weren't. I wonder if I was a man, would I have been taken more seriously? Autism, ADHD, BPD and more... finally known. But it feels like it's far too late. How does on change their patterns after such a long time? How do I undo the past, the mistakes, and poor treatment of others? How do you remove the scars? When your skin still crawls as it remembers a touch. I didn't want it, I didn't want those situations and every time I tried to escape (and somehow managed in the end) a piece of my soul would strip away. Now that there is nothing left... how do I get myself back? How do I make myself new? God, forgive me for all that I've done

BPD burns me.

Autism confuses me.