Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
Interview Vampire Daily
Jar Jar Binks Fan Club
titsay
d e v o n
Cosimo Galluzzi
Cookie Run:Kingdom Official!
hello vonnie
sheepfilms
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
NASA
★
Sade Olutola
tumblr dot com
EXPECTATIONS
Monterey Bay Aquarium
bliss lane
The Stonewall Inn
Not today Justin
seen from Brazil
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@paradoxicalli
Medusa laughs, having just turned a hapless intruder into stone, exited to have another statue for her lair. She scans the room, looking for the perfect place to put it. As she turns back to it, the statue seems…. closer than it was before…..
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For some reason at work the medium and large exam gloves are completely normal but the small gloves they ordered have this weird vampire nightclub vibe and I have no idea why
"Wrong. You are not going to slay me. You are going to remove your armor and set down your weapon, have a good meal — I can tell you haven't had one in a long time — get a good night's sleep, and in the morning you will tell me the name of who sent you, and then you can go home."
Slay the Princess
Everytime this gets a note when its nowhere near christmas I question my sanity just a little bit more
No, it is July, stop that, stop giving this notes, you guys have lost reblogging privileges
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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had a dream my mom was having another baby and decided to reuse my deadname because im not using it anymore which is honestly such a hilarious concept. what would you even do in that situation like yeah i guess you're right but also ?>!???!?
I do love thinking about how Simon is probably like. The Iron Lung universes John Wick. Bro is TERRIFYING.
So with that in mind imagine some random COI or Eden soldier also gets temporarily zapped into the PHM universe and sees this relatively mild mannered guy telling Simon The Motherfucking Butcher to please help move some things to the side so they can sleep on the couch easier.
And Simon fucking LISTENS. He grumbles a little bit but he does it. And then The Guy Who Bewitches Apparently gives Edens Living Nightmare a little pat on the shoulder with a thank you when he's done.
WHAT DID THIS BLONDE HAIRED FREAK DO TO GET THE BUTCHER TO DO WHAT HE ASKS (extended friendship. Thats literally it. And they will never accept that as an answer). Grace does not have 'Scary Dog Privileges' he has fucking CERBERUS on SPEED DIAL.
THREE CHEERS FOR COI OUTSIDE POV OF BLOODYMARY!!!
Sequel to this lol
Naming the eel Ellie sounds like such a Ryland Grace thing to do I just had to make this
Hell he'd go a step further and pronounce it eel-y
simon has a twitch chat
I legit needed to hear this
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Guy freezes his hair and it stands tall.
Guy freezes his hair and it stands tall.
sound on for his adorable gremlin giggles and commentary in a lovely accent
Im sorry but I had to share this little animation
Jason: That's enough.
Rude costumer: what!?
Jason: Stop yelling at him, and get the hell out.
Rude customer: Why don't you mind your own business!
Jason: This is my business. Literally. Im the owner.
Rude customer: You're the owner!? I demand a refund!
Jason: Just because you demand something doesn't mean its going to happen. You ate the food. You are not being refunded for that.
Rude customer: It was COLD
Jason: Then put on a sweater.
Rude customer: How about I beat the shit out of you instead!
Jason: *cracking knuckles* Bring it on. I needed a target for my anger anyway.
Danny: I called the cops
Rude customer/Jason: *Shock* what?
Danny: I called the cops.
Jason: In Gotham?!
Rude customer: You know what? I don't really need that refund-
Police: * Throws Tear gas can through the window* STOP RESISTING
Danny: What the hell!?
Jason: Hit the floor! *tackles Danny* This is why we dont call the cops in Gotham by the way.
Danny: Are they shooting at us!?
Jason: only a little
Danny: What does that mean!?
Rude customer: They're aiming for the top half of the store when they know we're on the ground. Hence only a little. He's new in town isn't he?
Jason: Yeah, fresh off the bus. Got into Gotham last week. Please understand, its only third day working here.
Rude customer: No no. Its fine. I get it. Outsiders have it hard as it is. By the way, I'm sorry for my behavior. Been a week....Riddler stole my girl.
Jason: Kidnapped?
Rude customer: I wished. She thinks his bowler hat is attractive
Jason: Damn. Losing your girl to Riddler. Im so sorry.
Danny: WHY ARE YOU HAVING A CASSUAL CONVERSATION. THE POLICE ARE RUSHING THE BUILDING IN RIOT GEAR.
Jason: And who's fault it that? Next time just have me throw them out or stab them with the business knife instead of calling the cops.
worrying is like worshipping the problem
and brother i’m on my knees
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people get so confused trying to figure out the Lois/Clark/Superman situation that somehow they come to the conclusion that Clark is cheating on Lois with Superman
I mean Lois clearly has nothing to hide, everyone from here to Krypton’s seen Superman fly her with a chaste hand around her waist. but Clark puts an awful lot of effort into making sure no one ever gets a pic of him and Superman together
what is he worried Lois will see
people shake their heads sadly every time Superman visits the Daily Planet and then Clark emerges from a closet disheveled and tucking his shirt back into his pants. but if Lois won’t see it there’s nothing they can do
When Lois finds out she thinks it’s hilarious, and when someone finally tries to ‘break it to her’, she’s all ready.
“Oh, I know.”
“You… know?”
“Neither of them would ever lie to me.”
“So… *gears frantically spinning* this is like some kind of threesome thing?”
“Oh! No, no, no, absolutely not. *Lois pauses and grins the most lascivious grin she can produce* I just… watch.”
Clark gets a lot of very weird looks that day that he can’t understand at all.
@elidyce no, no, no. don’t hide a shit-stirring bruce and chaotic lois in the tags. this is an important addition, too. just gives that final touch that’s dearly needed to really complete this, y’know?
dc comics heritage post
it doesn’t have to be good it just has to be done
The phrase "They don't want it perfect, they want it Friday" does wonders for my productivity.
