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mxnrique

HAPPY PRIDE

phaeton-flier

Bear religion probably fucking rocks. You're a fucking bear, you're the deadliest thing on earth, once a year an endless supply of salmon just flings itself up the river to gorge on and then you nap for 3 months.

phaeton-flier

The most delicious food in the world is protected by tiny demons who can defend it from everyone except you. Your natural armor is thick enough that you can just eat the damn hive while they buzz around you. God's chosen animals right there

theaudientvoid

centrally-unplanned

Regular bears tell stories of angel bears sent by the Bear God, pure white and twice as strong as any normal bear could be, who rule the summit of the Earth and kill all who stand in their path.

And they are right, those bears exist and totally do that. Humans just have fake angels as a cope.

theabigailthorn

love the idea of bears being the chosen species actually. having a near death experience and glimpsing heaven and realising it's just full of bears, no humans at all, humans not ensouled actually, humans an accidental byproduct of God's plan for bears

free-my-mindd

biglawbear

I'm instituting a new policy of "if I can't easily read your crusty scanned PDF then I'm sending it back to you, telling you to get your shit together and save your .docx as .pdf, and causing snakes to manifest inside your house"

christaaah

this but also if you are in accounting and you have an Excel file please do not save it as a PDF or take a screenshot of it and then paste it into another Excel file

biglawbear

I take it back whatever you have going on is way worse than what I was dealing with holy shit

firstbornsons-deactivated202605

@thesummoningdark hello?????

thesummoningdark

yeah no this is a real thing an actual human being said to me

biglawbear

Good afternoon to everyone in the notes having a horrible time! Y'all are fighting demons I never knew existed!! I think every person that makes you do stupid time wasting shit like this because they refuse to learn basic computer literacy should be fired!!

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theonion

U.S Government Stages Fake Coup To Wipe Out National Debt

ladyshinga

Really wish we'd, on the left, stop laughing and assuming this is ACTUALLY about strippers. I'd be willing to bet this ISN'T about some one with the actual job of stripper being somehow hired and sent to a school, that indeed DOESN'T happen - instead it will be used to target any female teacher who, like, wears a bikini on social media one time. She'll be called a "danger" to children and fired, as a cover for the fact that she's pro-queer or too far left or doesn't support ICE enough on that same social media. The bikini pic will just be the legal tool used to ruin her life

ladyshinga

A friend helped me out by looking up the actual bill and YUP, it's to target queer people and sex education. NOT. STRIPPERS. STOP MAKING IT ABOUT THE FUCKING "STRIPPERS".

theshampyon

Anyone who thinks ladyshinga might be off track, here's the breakdown.

Actual bill name: Stop the Sexualization of Children Act.

Purported purpose: "to protect children from being exposed to explicit material in the classroom".

How it's sold in the press: "Ban strippers and porn from classrooms!"

Actual text of the bill: Expands the meaning of "sexually explicit content" to include the words "or involves gender dysphoria or transgenderism".

Not and. Or. Meaning "involves gender dysphoria or transgenderism" is in and of itself enough to be classified as sexually explicit.

Actual result: Illegal to mention the existence of trans people or admit to being trans in a classroom under threat of being prosecuted as a child sex offender.

adibkhorram

This is HR7661—also known as the Federal Book Banning Bill. It would remove books by, about, or including trans people.

If you want to fight:

We made it easy to take these four actions to fight against HR 7661 and stand up for your right to read!

#America wtf

perlmans-own

vasira96

idk who needs to hear this, but your partner should be making your life better and easier than it is on your own. if your partner is making your life harder, they're constantly stressing you out, if they're not showing up for you? babe you gotta leave, life is so short and we only get one, so don't spend it with someone who makes you feel bad about your life, you deserve so much better than that

phantomrose96

“Tumblr age verification will not be needed,” tumblr staff stated upon confirming every single blog on the site is more than 10 years old.

“If you were literate enough to be posting about Johnlock in 2015 we can kind of just assume you’re good,” staff elaborated even though we did not ask them to.

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chillhypocrite

The fact that kids nowadays want ao3 to be censored— guys. Guys. Where is your sense of adventure? When I was 12, and homeschooled, and had unlimited internet access on my second hand laptop, all I felt upon discovering ao3 was unmitigated joy. A whole platform where people can be fucking weird and post toe-curling novel-length diatribes about ANYTHING. How beautiful is that?

And then you, the reader, can just jump in and post your own weird shit? And people might comment just to say “nice job!” Or “where the fuck is the next chapter” on your 20k coffee shop FNAF AU? Bro. Them’s the little things that make the internet worth anything.

Ao3 is so beautiful. I love scrolling past indescribably disturbing descriptions. I love knowing they have a place to be posted. I love knowing that, should I feel the urge to indulge, I can do so with no repercussions.

Mi familia. Mis amigos. Por favor. Take a step back and be grateful that not every facet of creativity has been locked behind an algorithm.

wonni

kr1g

@sapphicspritzee look tiktok stole the post you made like 7 years ago

eyeseyesbaby

im fucking losing it lads

punny-trash

hildagoneril

tonysopranobignaturals-deactiva

bungerc0re

well it's not a handshake.

bungerc0re

does anyone have that post i need it

notahorseindisguise

notund

this post's hypothetical by itself is already ridiculous but the thing that gets me is how the wording implies two very funny things that become funnier in tandem

1. "Accidentally, the pitcher tosses a Christian baby" means this is a mistake on the pitcher's part. i imagine the pitcher is breastfeeding on the field and they pitch and they look down at their hands and they see the ball still in the glove and they go "fuck"

2. hitting the baby will still win you the game

catholic pez

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lleyksie

let’s be primitive horses with mama

exit-path

so i accidentally went down a wikipedia rabbit hole and came across the funniest thing that's apparently been plaguing scientists for centuries

exit-path

it's called "maxwell's demon" and it's so easy to learn but difficult to disprove. basically a tiny demon controls a trapdoor, letting some particles through, and eventually it changes the temperature of two gases without applying any work. the fact that actual physicists are fighting over this 💀

but most of all imagine the tiny demon that's doing all this. all of this impossible effort and for what. why is he doing this. what does he gain

exit-path

*does a gay little violation of classical thermodynamics that pisses you off*

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hi 寶貝 :)