Tides / Trench

this post is like being handed demonic visions of what hyper latex porn looks like in the cars universe

Did I ever talk abt the time i was at a bdsm club and one of the pups was on all fours and barking and being cute and the dom on scene was like “hi puppy! Do you do any tricks?” And he said “I can beatbox!”

I was like. Doubled over incapacitated laughing the entire time. He was really good and a big sweetheart and I felt kinda bad but I couldn’t stop thinking “why the am I getting the beatboxing puppy unskippable cutscene at the bdsm club”

Like to charge, reblog to cast?

sorry kids daddy lost all his money betting on rhinoceros beetle fights again there won't be a christmas this year

good news babies, momma just cleared some chump of everything. Two christmases this year. God i love beetles fighting

Please take my white ass to anor londo

*grabs you with my long gargoyle-like arms and flies off witj you*

Oh thank god hold me tight you scary motherfucker

im going to kill that guys dead wife

Imagine working as a clown, and you're absolutely bombing your performance. You're juggling your balls all over the floor, you're slipping on your own little clown props, you're honking your little nose without even meaning to. And no one is laughing. There's only one person in the audience. His clown makeup is far more handsom than yours. His purple suit is tight, leaving nothing to the imagination. He green hair. The Joker walks over, leans over your frail clown body, sneering. "Not very funny," he chuckles darkly. You honk meekly, presenting your Clown Hole in submission as you are overwhelmed by his superior clown pheromones and musk. And then. And then he pulls it out. He pulls out his j

Yeah frogs don’t have ribs. It’s a quick way to identify the bullshit ‘info’post about the ‘correct way’ to hold a frog. They seem to constantly mention hurting their non-existent ribs.