thinking about the specific moments where the berzatto family falls in love with sydney (because of course they do, everyone does).
for richie, it takes the end of the beef and right up till the opening of the bear to happen. he is full of contempt and grief when he meets her and all he knows is that when he looks at her face he is afraid. he doesnât like that feeling. richie is not a man who finds himself fearful a lot, but she is everything he is not and nothing that he is and he hates himself for it. if she is what it means to be passionate, then what is he? is he nothing but an empty shell of mikey, stuck on earth to shake his fist at passing clouds, because how dare they move and continue on like mikey was nothing to them, as if he wasnât the very point that the earth revolved around? everyone is leaving him behind, and she is proudly leading the pack. itâs not right. but thenâ he gets it. he talks to garrett and jess and chef terry and he sees sydney in every corner of that restaurant. the fear slowly is replaced with respect as the week goes on and he realizes that just because sheâs good doesnât mean sheâs out to get him. thatâs the berzatto upbringing in him doing the talking, but it doesnât have to, because shes a berzatto now, maybe not officially (not yet, but mark his words, she will be) but she is, and thatâs not how she does things. so, he lets her lead them into the future to something good and different and better.
for sugar, itâs instant. she was born to a mother who is triggered by her very existence, and it has hurt her all her life. she is full of love and the one person she wants to give it to the most doesnât want any part of it. she was born to give but is surrounded by those who are afraid to even take it, to reach out their hand and meet her in the middle. and if they cant take then they themselves have nothing to give, so she gets used to being the one who has to force feed her love down their throats, because if no one does, if no one shows them that they are worthy of good things, then they will crumble (âif i just talked to him moreââ âno, natââ âif i had justââ âitâs not your fault, honey. itâs never been.â). but when she meets sydney, itâs like looking into a mirror. she sees her bright eyes and soft smiles and careful but strong hands and instantly recognizes her for what she is: a giver. and sugars heart swells with even more love than she thought possible, because finally, sheâs not aloneâ there is someone else there to slowly, albeit subconsciously, take care of her crumbling family, to show them that despite what their mother may have taught them, its okay to not be okay (she tries her best not to cry when syd asks her if shes okay, but she does. and syd doesnt grab her face or yell at her or call her stupid. she makes her a meal. and sugar cries some more).
for cicero, the love isnât instant, and itâs not even entirely love. she is strong and she is assertive, but that also makes her naive and a very expensive risk. she makes him curious for whatâs to come, intrigued by the way she doesnât back down from carmy whose voice so often mimics the berzattos that came before him (âyouâre better than this, kid.â âi donât know what i am.â âwhatever it is, itâs not this.â). she's self assured and knows her place in the establishment and is unafraid to let people know it. itâs a refreshing change of pace from mikey, who often resorted to intimidation to get his way, or carmy, whoâs anxiety envelopes him and distracts him from whatâs right there in front of him. but she is not them. she is focused and on track and is willing to put in the work to get what she wants. he doesnât visit the bear often, only drops by once in a while to deliver bad news or to fulfill a favour or to just enjoy some good food, but when he does, she is always there, dedicated to ensuring that carmy and michaels, and now, her dream stays alive. she is good for his family, and he trusts her to keep the berzatto spirit alive.
for michelle, itâs quite simple. she always looked out for carmy, their little bear, so when she meets her itâs a family thanksgiving party at the bear and syd stumbles out of the kitchen, obviously frazzled and a little sweaty (âcarmy, im not ready, i didnât even change yet and the turkââ âdonât worry, tina will take care of it, you look great, theyâll love you, they just really wanted to meet youââ), but sheâs smiling. sheâs a little awkward when she introduces herself, and michelle finds herself endeared by her nervous ramble (âitâs, uh, really nice to meet you guys. sorry, i didnât know that i was going to be pulled out of the kitchen so soon. uh, im sydney. yeah, i guess carmy already told you guys, huh? um. im sorry, how are you related to the family again? i mean, i dont want to offend but itâs just. uh. well, you guys are just very... normal?â) and sheâll laugh and look at stanley and the two of them will think to themselves, good job carmy, sheâs a good one, before telling syd something dumb and nonsensical about a genetic mutation and richie interrupts to tell michelle itâs not a genetic mutation itâs called being boring and syd will laugh and michelle will too, truly happy that their little bear found someone normal, a breath of fresh air within the smoke of their family.
for donna, itâs weird. itâs tense. they donât meet for a long time. they donât meet at the bear when it first opens and not at the bear even when it has found itâs footing, but by chance. they are somewhere mundane (a grocery store, a park, or maybe just the street) and there is no other family member around when syd meets the berzatto matriarch. she only knows what donna looks like from photos at sugars house because carmys apartment is devoid of any actual sentiment (although that has begun to change since she made him get an actual dresser and he dedicated one of the drawers to her stuff). she calls out to her by her name, and donna turns around startled. she doesnât recognize syd, of course, who introduces herself and informs her of who she is to the family. when donna smiles itâs not a real one, and syd knows this, but it doesnât deter her. she tells donna that her kids love her (âeven after everything, nat?â âsheâs our mother. its all that we can do.â) and that her kids are great (âcarmy, you are not broken.â âim a little broken.â âno, listen to me, the fact that you are still here, means something. its something.â) and that there will always be a table for her at the bear (âchef, someones calling in for a reso for 1 but weâre all full up⌠except forââ âyo, dont finish that sentence. table 7 for ms. berzatto is an indefinite booking. is that understood?â âyes, chefâ). donnas smile fades and her chest fills with anger but just as sheâs about to explode in typical berzatto fashion syd interrupts her. she has faced the bear many a time before and has handled herself with grace and dignity everytime, so this is no different. she smiles brightly and thanks donna for listening to her and hopes she considers coming in, because sheâd really like to cook for her. she looks like she needs a good meal. she deserves one. she turns and walks away. donnas stomach growls. that night, table 7 is occupied for the first time since the bear opened its doors.
and carmy? well, there isnât an exact moment. its a culmination of awkward partnership (âi donât want to be shitty.â âokay, then dont be.â) and flawless teamwork (âthe menu needsââ âalready on it, chef.â) and nights unwinding at the bar down the street (âof course you drink an old fashioned.â âwhatâs that supposed to mean?â ânothing, itâs just very⌠tortured-chef-from-the-slums-of-chicago of youâ) and spontaneous phone calls just to hear the others voice (âwhy are you whispering?â âi⌠donât know. my dads home. its a habit.â âyouâre 27.â âand youâre white, you wouldnât get it.â) till theyâre just inseparable (âcousin, wheres carmy?â âwith syd, duh.â âwhy'd i even ask?â). and then, sydney and carmen become something else. something tender and sweet and terrifying and beautiful all mixed together into⌠something. thereâs no word for what they have. but it feels so right; to the guests who taste their food and recognize that the hands who put it together are full of love and care; to the staff at the bear who see the unspoken communication, the lingering touches, and their soft eyes that seem to always be on the other; to the berzatto family who notice that carmy looks a little brighter, and shakes a little less. yes, its love, but its so much more. itâs syd and carmy. it always has been, and always will be.
(âcan i ask you something? something corny and lame and gross?â âalways.â âwhen did you, like, know?â âknow what?â âlike, when did you know that you loved me? like, not as a chef or a friend, but as... y'know.â âthatâs very middle school of you to ask.â âshut up, i did warn you.â ââŚâ âso?â âits, uh, i donât, i donât know.â âwell, thatâs rude.â âno, i mean, i canât say its one moment because... it was all of them. together. like, one moment youâre staging and then everything happened and, and, keeps happening but the next thing i knew you were there and you always were there and i just knew that i never wanted you to not be there.â âthatâsâŚ. really, really, disgusting, and frankly, a little unprofessional.â âoh, fuck off.â âno, like, i knew you were obsessed with me, but wow, that is a whole new other level.â âfuck you, get off of me, donât touch me.â âno no no, pleaseââ âi let you into my familyââ âlet me?â âinto my restaurantââ âi think you mean OUR restaurantââ âonly for you to humiliate me in my own bed? how dare you.â ââŚare you sulking?â ââŚâ ââŚcarmy?â âsyd?â âme too.â ââŚheard, chef. now come back here.â)
(and itâs unspoken, but everyone knows that michael wouldâve loved her too. i mean, sheâs sydney fucking adamu, she conquered the bear. how could anyone not love her?)

















