Mama, what if I don't want to go? What if I want to stay with you?

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Mama, what if I don't want to go? What if I want to stay with you?

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i wanna know love
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Anytime you want, you can come back here, to this day, and remember how proud your father and I were.
CRITICAL ROLE 4.15 Flight to Castle Torch

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What if I don't want to go? What if I want to stay with you?
cuz my mouth says no,
but my neck says please. ౨ৎ
i always forget "fuck" is a bad word. it's like a brother to me
writing your fave having sex with with their love interest is OUT writing your fave shamefully jerking off and coming pathetically fast at just the idea of fucking their love interest is IN
anyone else still reeling from their hug in the cold open raise your hand

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✦ 𝙸 𝚗 𝚝 𝚑 𝚎 𝙲 𝚕 𝚘 𝚞 𝚍 𝚜. [ 2022 ]
[ Even more Dorian! (OwO) No, I wasn’t obsessed with him, what? ]
Kattigan keeps saying things that could be at a surface level taken with a sexual wink but if you consider the deeper extant of everything we know, it could completely recontextualize everything we know about the Falcons in the group.
Teor made an Oath to Kattigan. The only oath we’ve seen from Teor is to protect Wick. So did Teor give his oath to Kattigan for protection? We saw him take heavy hits in an episode’s intro, is it so far to believe Katt could’ve almost died and needed to depend on Teor to get him home to the Falcons? And then the Rebellion ended, what does home become?
Thimble keeps checking in to make sure that Kattigan is still here and with them? Why? Is it because he’s left every time, if so under what circumstances because both Teor and Thimble are glad to travel with him again and Azune and Loza were happy to see him again? Did Kattigan think they’d all stay together after the war and then when it ended, everyone went their separate ways leaving Kattigan alone so he never reached out to them because in his perspective they left first.
Azune had use. Thimble and Thjazi stayed together. Teor had promise with his light and inheriting the Torn Banner at Thjazi’s funeral. What about Kattigan? He gained a wolf as a companion. Wolves are pack creatures, the “alpha” isn’t an aggressor but a caretaker as we saw him doing with his talks to Tyranny about who she wanted to be, guiding Wick to give Castle Sloak to the Dame, keeping Thimble’s memory for her, staying near Teor in every battle (who is their primary healer and damage dealer).
So in all that time of rebelling, was Kattigan the caretaker who forgot to let others take care of him in return and when he wanted them to, instead of opening up and asking to remain together, he let them go because that’s what they wanted to do. Just like his convo with Tyranny. So whenever Thimble and Kattigan were last together prior to the funeral, he now takes care of himself “you have to” (about Occtis) by being the first to leave.
It’s been seven?? years since Kattigan’s last seen them, right? The question isn’t why Kattigan isn’t like Casimir, but more so how? Kattigan keeps going on about simple folk, simple people, simple man. What if all he wanted after the rebellion was a simple life and the others wanted to keep leading the fight?
And that’s why they left him. Because they could tell he’s the type of man willing to die for them. Just like his heroic fantasy about saving Thjazi, Kattigan himself knew would likely end in his death. Just like how Thjazi kept Hal out of the loop, he abandoned Kattigan to protect him from himself.
Thimble doesn’t know this. Teor doesn’t know this. Azune doesn’t know this. Not even Kattigan knows this. The Falcons are shit at communicating with each other unless it’s in the deep of battle where they have no choice but to communicate in order to live.
Azune who has known nothing but war and bad things being the most gentle and kind hearted individual on the planet because he CHOOSES to be will never not kill me. on his patrols he routinely looks for moments of kindness, jokes shared, soft touches, and that meaning more to him than any arcane signature he’s really on the lookout for. Luis this character is going to be the death of me and i need so so much more of him
no matter how normalised it gets I will die on the hill that it is rude to record strangers in public without their consent
the party is over and i'm still here

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i'm having thoughts
The voices made me do it (Luis, Robbie, and Alex)